I had my first blackout on Nal a few weeks ago but I haven't had one since. I didn't mention it because well...you'll see. But now that I think about it it's just too funny.

I woke up in the morning, stumbled into the bathroom and found my razor, a jar of hot banana wax peppers and shaving cream all over the counter. Now you all know what I was thinking...what in the hell did I do last night? I cleaned it up and went about my day.

Two days later I go to shave and notice that my razor isn't working at all. I wash it off, look at it and see that it is totally clogged with pepper fragments. I start to take them out and they keep coming out. I must have pulled a whole pepper out of the tip of a gilette sensor excel.

So I now know what I did...but what in the hell was I doing? I must have thought I was slicing them to put on a sandwich, I do that sometimes and that's the only thing I can think of that makes any sense.



I don't feel bad about this at all. 1 blackout in 10 weeks. Pre-TSM it was twice a week.

Hey Lo0p you've gone awful quiet?
during the outage id discovered that you hadn't removed my mistakenly placed email address on the google docs spreadsheet i emailed you but you haven't replied and since then its not allowing me access. Its not recognising my password which i don't understand.
anyway hope your ok.
SBTS

hey Loop I love you (oops I'm married) and your story Someday we are all going to look at some of these posts and say who the hec were these people?

heck, I thought you were going to say you were shaving the peppers But as you were simply slicing them...well what's odd about that

Hey Soulby, yeah it's been a bad week. I'm dealing with some depression that's come on quite fiercely. Trying to stave off the suicidal thoughts but they're getting stronger and stronger. I've been having dreams where I'm blowing my head off or standing on bridges looking over the edge.

I tell my therapist about this and he says: "Yeah that's understandable..." I'm really beginning to think this guy is a looney.

Yesterday I was walking through town and broke down and prostrated myself on the ground and couldn't stop crying. I've always been a staunch atheist but I drove to the nearest church I could find just so that I could talk to somebody. Then Jane came to see me and she always makes me feel better and this time was no different. Just being near her or hearing her voice evokes peaceful feelings in me.


Anyway, I got your email Soulby and I remedied that right away. I've got no clue why I would have put that there after going back and reading our previous email correspondence. I am sorry about that. From what I can tell your scorpio email addy that you sent me is on the list. You may not have set up a google account yet or something. I'll send a new invitation so you can try it again. We'll figure it out -E

LoOP,
I am able to totally relate to your suicidal situation as I have a few plans in my mind. But I am am not going to do it.
I had never yet read your thread and I am glad that I did find it today.
I also really loved your pictures of Burning Man. They are the best I have ever seen, in a way that describes it, at least to me. I have friends that go every year, I am not of that ilk. I am happy for you that you are able to go and experience the art of the life of the culture.
Just wanted to say hello, and tell you how much I am thinking of you.........

Thanks ART, and everybody.

This is an actual picture of me in Black Rock City:


I'm finding myself in this position more and more often these days.

Wow great pic!!

You have a good looking right thumb (and I can say that even as a straight gentleman )

Try flipping on your back laddie, so you can see the sun - it shines for you (and each and every one of us) even if we can't feel it at times.

All the best my friend, looking forward to a better day for you tomorrow (which it WILL be, believe it - or like it - or not!!)

Hanging out for you bud, just ride this unpleasant wave out for now, and keep us posted here

8

Why thank you...

There's no need to worry about me though. I've promised Jane (and myself) that I wouldn't do anything stupid until after I'm cured. I deserve to know what it's like to not be an alcoholic at least.

You'll find that life is really worth living when you are cured and the days of these miserable thoughts will just be a bad memory.

Keep your chin up, Resident Geek. And I say that with the utmost fondness.

My best to you.

Nick