I didn't see that issue of the nat geo, but you can see satellite images of Black Rock City on google earth. BRC has it's own friggin' airport, when you're walking around all week long there are skydivers constantly falling from the sky, I almost got landed on by one once . Consequently there are a lot of aerial shots of the city:

i totally understand what you mean about the repulsion of getting the first few down. I am at week 20 and the thought of drinking is not really in my head all day but i still get it, cuz, that's what i do, it still makes me nervous to think i'd be home wo wine and the liquor store is closed! the first coupla drinks i kinda force down, but after that, i want to drink till i am drunk, that's why i am wondering when it will stop. i have been a nighly closet alcoholic drinking about 10 units of wine (two bottles or one artillery shell!)/ night, for about 8 years or so. started getting really nervous last spring when crappy life circumstances got started earlier and earlier w/ the shakes and what not...that was new! try having to drink before work to not shake...NOT FUN! luckily i found TSM round about that time and that behavior was gone in the first DAY but the 8 year habit is a tough one to break, still, i really no longer obsessively think about alcohol and crave my first drink of the day all day, i remeber going to bed and even tho i drink about the same amount and am getting drunk, it's over a longer period of time, it seems, and the urgency and stupor isn't present as pre TSM. i just wanto know when i will be 'cured' if it will happen for me that i can 'take it or leave it'. sorry your fiance left you. my ex husband left me, my son's dad, and my last boyfriend too, all cuz of the red red wine baby:( i have a great guy sticking by me now, tho, who read the book and understands and is enthusiastic, doesn't judge, phew!

Cravings came back and were pretty intense for a few days. But then the glimmers came again. Looks like I'm just gonna be riding this out.

Talked to "Jane" a couple of times this week, we hadn't talked in a month or so. She really wants me to be a part of her life I think, but it's just so painful . We're going to be getting together soon, just to spend some time together. I miss her like I would miss a missing limb. She was my universe, my idol, my best friend, my lover, my priest and my flower.

I kinda wish I could fast forward through TSM so that she could see me then, healed and no longer a slave, everything she ever wanted me to be.

Did Tarzan show Jane that incredibly great letter from Going4More to the spouse/family/loved one about TSM? I think a sensitive person like Jane would appreciate it.

No I haven't yet. But I'm going to, along with a lot of other stuff.

I hate getting my hopes up, but not trying is like shooting myself in the foot.

Another cool pic of the "crude awakening" project:

Hey Loop,

I agree that the letter written by G4M is incredibly powerful - definitely worth a try. Cool photo BTW!

Hey Loop, haven't kept on top of your progress but it sounds like you're doing all the right things. WTF is the burn thing? I don't get it!

Anyway, regarding your ex gf, I think 1-4 had some great advice. Although it sounds like she really does want to be a part of your life -- she just doesn't want the part with alcohol. I think all of us with SOs have taken heat (pardon the pun) for that. My husband says he is actually jealous of my wine b/c he thinks I love it more than I love him. Hearing that was kind of a watershed moment for me. I've always looked at it from MY side, the denial then the excuses for my addiction. But he is lonely when I stay up and have my wine and surf the web than go to bed with him. In a lot of ways, I think I use alcohol to avoid intimacy.

GL on your journey. I agree that the letter to spouses is fantastic. Definitely show it to her.

yeah Loop,

Hang tight,...my wife's the same way...I just wish that I could do the same...hang with her in 4 months....the scary thing,..what if it's a little longer per some of our old timers here? A year perhaps...or maybe I'm the 10%...That's the sad part...that some of us inevitably will fall into that category....

Not even Dr. Eskapa or Sinclair have any power over that...

To me, its just exciting that there are options...I think is going to work as I feel things changing even if its not the #'s as many of you say.....

God Bless to all,..(not in a freakazoid Christian way even though I was brought up Catholic,..I am very open minded to spirituality...),,,as AA says thanks to my HP,...I just wonder, do they pay any royalties to Hewlett Packard for saying that?