Hi 8,

Pleasure, anxiety, habit; three recurring themes that are so familiar to imbibers of alcohol. Looks like the naltrexone is having an effect (for you) on the first of these three. Wish I could say the same. As for the anxiety, alcohol has the same effect on me. And then, there's habit. It seems to me that this is a tricky one - how best to deal with it? You will no doubt have seen the recent threads addressing this very issue. It is sometimes said that one way to break a (bad) habit is to replace it with another (healthy) habit. I wonder if this approach could be applied to the drinking habit. Just thinking out loud. Hmmmmm.

All my best.

V.

Yes, indeed V, I am very hopeful that the Nal is working on the pleasure side of things, although fleetingly - just a few nights ago I thoroughly enjoyed my beer. And I had a very large social situation a couple of weeks ago where I drank with as much gusto as ever. As those events are much rarer for me (I have little social life right now) if the Nal is to work those situations and triggers will take much longer to extinguish, perhaps.

Habit is a fascinating one. I absolutely agree that good, new habits and activities have to be introduced, and I also believe they can be. After detox during my near-four month abstinence I began watching TV at night again, reading, and became a connoisseur of fine relaxing herbal teas! None of these are drinking activities for me! And, when my anxiety was under control, I was starting to play sports in the evenings (now alas I am too anxious to get there). Evening Tai Chi and painting or silk screen-printing classes are high on my list for when I am starting to recover.

Thank you so much for your interesting observations.

8

Right, the weekly totals are in, although most weeks are estimates (but pretty good ones I think)! It's made pretty interesting reading going back through this thread, a rollercoaster indeed that I have been on so far!

I am undoubtedly benzo-dependent now after weeks of daily diazepam use. But I've over-estimated my 'maintenance' amount, which for normal daily anxiety levels is 6 to 8mg a day (that would probably be more if I didn't drink in the evenings, which is my sedative then). It is only 'crisis' days where I need to take more, really, but I hope as I am now consistently drinking less than a week or two ago those days will lessen in number, and I can taper the benzos. Lack of sleep and nutrition seem to be the big triggers for higher anxiety and panic attacks. A big lesson (hopefully!) learned and to be put in to practice.

I don't bother to even try to evaluate cravings now. Drinking for me is all about anxiety and boredom relief and habit. I don't really get cravings beyond the need to feel less anxious.

So, with a historic consumption of 80 to 100+ UK units a week for eight years or more (but 5 months of crisis drinking of 15 to 35 units a day pre-four months of abstinence), here are my totals so far since starting TSM:

Week 1 - 86.5 UK units (including very short 'honeymoon' effect)

Week 2 - 100.5 UK units

Week 3 - 118 UK units

Week 4 - 73 UK units (sick for most of the week)

Week 5 - 128 (estimate)

Week 6 - 120 (estimate)

Week 7 - 122 (estimate)

Week 8 - 76 (sick with cold for a few days)

Week 9 - in progress (02 - 15 UK units)

Bloody hell, I need a stiff drink after seeing some of those totals!!

Hi 8,

It's great to see you're back to your cheerful self!. Screw the numbers - that's not what will matter in the long run, and this can be a long ride. We're all right by your side.

Hi Krazy

Thanks so much, yep crisis over, am back to my old self mostly I cannot thank everyone here enough for their help during my recent very rough patch - it helped me tremendously.

Yeah, I agree, the numbers don't matter too much yet in terms of TSM, but looking back they have far more relation to my anxiety problems than I'd realised. So, it's been a really useful reminder that 10 to 12 units a night is really what my body can handle without the anxiety ramping up. If I aim for no more than that most of the time then I can start to taper the benzos before I end up on them long-term, and as it's the number of times one drinks on Nal rather than the quantity, to that end numbers are crucial really.

Right, time for beers and to stop posting, cheers everybody!!

Psssht, numbers shnumbers. 18 the day before yesterday, 20 again last night, been drinking since eleven AM this morning and had a bottle of wine and some shots of horrible cheap vodka.

Ain't life grand

No worries - it's all part of the TSM Training Program. You're just being an exceptionally good student!

Well I exceeded all previous expectations yesterday then - 24 UK units!!

Hi 8 - I just wanted to echo Kris....

All of your posts lately are so cheerful, it's wonderful to see. So glad you are feeling better. The drinking cure will come in time!

Take care,

Thank you my friend, yes I'm pretty cheerful despite the anxiety. Gonna try to drink less today, haven't touched a drop yet - any more than yesterday and I'll go pop!