Houtx,
I have nothing but admiration for your combined grit and determination. You extended a helping hand to me when I needed one and I wish I could do the same. If I were in your shoes, I would be feeling exactly the same way.

I know bac is sort of unchartered territory, but maybe it's worth a try. And the 100mg of nax may work, too. We are all kind of science project here and I feel your pain and discouragement. I am with 8 -- how can we get all those studies from Finland? Anyone have a friend or relative over there?

You have determination and patience -- don't underestimate their power. It will go a long way in your battle. In the meantime, we're all here for you.

ever boil water to make pasta and you have a bunch of people coming over for dinner soon, you're watching the clock and the darn water just won't boil! you stand there and watch and watch and nothing! so you finally go away and start getting into something else though you don't turn off the burner on the pot, when you come back the pot is boiling!! PASTA. my mother always told me you're unique (well that could be good or bad) and don't compare yourself with anyone else, everyone is different and so it is with tsm it seems, so for what i've read some people take 21 weeks to get cured and some take far above that number but what if it's next week or 2 days from now??? we're all compulsive I don't know if it's the AL that does that to us or we were like that before, but who cares it doesn't matter right now as long as we keep going forward.

Corkit - I loved your analogy! Made me laugh

Everyone else - thanks again for the support. As with everything else that seems so important that we pop off about it one day and it is diminished the next...same with this. I was pretty wound up Wednesday night...I dunno. Happy about Nick's progress, amazed he could go to freaking VEGAS aand have AF days...other stuff.

Just bugs me I get on here and everyone is all "oh hold on, it will work"...when it hasn't. I so want to believe - and I am trying and committed. I am following the freaking golden rule with a vengeance. Everyday of my calendar has notch marks for my drinks: 4-6 usually. Not horrible in en photo grande, but I want to not THINK ABOUT IT. Yet I do. I am too aware of how much I love that chilly glass of wine, how I need to sip it, not think about it, yet I am THINKING about it. It's crazy!! I think about not thinking about it all the time!! lol

But bottom line, I so appreciate everyone's thoughts and support, as usual. It means the world to me, and that's what I needed. I do not mean to dis the Drs.; I understand this is not their board and thinking I should go into the chambers of the great wizards and ask my questions to them directly. It might be the best way - apparently others have gotten real responses from them. I'd like that.

I am feeling better after reading what you all said. Yes, alot of this is blond (lol typo - "blind" but being blonde, that's funny!)...alot of this is blind faith, and I am thinking I should relax and just follow the rules and hope within another 4-6 months maybe this will work for me.
Once again, hope is all we have and I am so freaking emotionally dependent on it at this point. I just can't imagine ever drinking w/o NAL again.

Ok - it's been a long post, gotta submit or doom lurks beyond! haha Again, thanks all, for the support!

And maybe you're going to be the one to be the savior for those that need a little more time.

I for one hope I'm a 3-4 monther...My wife WILL leave me otherwise. Not angrily I might add...just fed up. We all know and understand.

So hang tight houtx. You don't know how important you are to me and the hundreds of newbies floating around. Thanks,..and most importantly,..don't give up. And if you're that small 10% lets rally around you even more because I think there is more than one method damnit...we all deserve to live in peace and happiness...you seem so nice,..best to all and I will have a freaking convention once cured...with a smoking band too!!! Thats what I do,..music...so at the very least we'll have a great band..hows that sound...requests please so I can make sure I get the right musicians!

PS I can do everything from heavy rock to R&B, classics, jazz, and soul and rock,..I'm not a classical guy though but I like it.....I'll start a thread for our convention....

Houtx, not trying to steal your thread but I did take a little part of it, lol, sorry. Just wanted to say thanks to everone also. Yes, looks like there are three of us who don't feel that we are seeing anything happen. As far as being reprimanded, it was a while back and that person just doesn't seem to post lately so all is good. It just sort of left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth but I am still here. There are a lot of really great & caring people here and I would be lost with tsm if it were not for this board!

LaBear, you and anyone else can steal my thread whenever you want. Don't matter, gf!

Jim- you wrote me a mssg that came across on my personal email acct for some reason. Bottom line, it's just about what works. I am trying TSM at 100 mgs and thinking I am back at square 1...my "problem" is I have a routine of coming home after working out, doing things, etc... And once I am home alone, it is a habit, and I absolutely ADORE drinking more than a few glasses of wine, getting on this box...writing, reading...blchhh

One very keen thing that is in the back of my mind...my pleasure and desire when I am at the gym is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy down. I do not like this but know it is NAL affecting my brain & of course, continue to exercise anyway. But I'm thinking if the pleasure & desire of exercising is being diminished, surely everything else is too!!?? Doesn't seem so, but...

Gawd - I hope so!! Will check in again later...

It's hard for you to be objective about it, but yeah that should be true. Is this a new phenomenon since the dose increase?

Hang in there girl.

Oh my gosh, Loop, I have also lost my desire to work out. I keep saying I'll get back into it "this" week, but then something comes up or I make an excuse. I went one time last week, worked out my arms and I couldn't lift my 3 yr old for 2 days! Okay, tomorrow....

Jim - your band sounds great! I used to be the lead singer in an 80s New Wave band & before that a country swing band (during the late 70s oil boom here). Occasionally I have the opportunity to get on stage and exercise the pipes again - recently at a wedding a couple of weeks ago. The band was awesome!! They were fronted by 3 black women, had a keyboard, guitar, horn section, drums...did all Motown. The crowd was on the floor all night. Sounds like your gig the other night. Brick House, Proud Mary, Mustang Sally, etc - good stuff!!

I'm sorry about your wife. Do try and show her the "concerned spouse" letter...hope it all goes well for all of us. Hang in, bro!

It would be so cool if all you musicians could get together and jam! I did a bit of singing myself way back when, but haven't had the courage in a long time. If we can ever all get together, I'd love to hear you all. Rock on!