Thanks W2E, The fact that I'm her posting at all tonight should tell a tale. Pre TSM I would not have been able to handle this with any kind of grace. There was coke, there were young chicks, there was free whiskey. The show was great, although my legs are tired from the "rock star" pose ( how does Steven Tyler do it at his age?). Opportunities for disaster were ever present, but I calmly let them pass, as I have a newly rewired brain and a bunch of good online friends on my side

It feels so good to be like some of the other "normals," not freaking out because the time to buy beer is drawing to a close, or feeling like I have to go to a party don't really want to because there will be drinking opportunities there. Truth is I rocked it out better than ever, because I wasn't pre-occupied with that other stuff. Now I'm sooo tired - good tired - and I think I'm going to bed.

As my thoughts increasingly turn away from alcohol, I'm finding that I want to streamline my tracking process. So from here on out I'll not be reporting weekly numbers. I'm removing them from my sig line, but for those who are interested here they are from start to cure date.

The weeklies are only one measure of TSM: much more important is the overall efect on your life. This process takes lots and lots of patience, and a good amount of faith. It's easy to get hung up on stats and numbers, but what counts is the big picture.

Pre TSM 50-60 drinks per week

week
1 46.5
2 48.5
3 46
4 39
5 54
6 42
7 56.5
8 52.5
9 55
10 36
11 52
12 42
13 34
14 29
15 45
16 60
17 29
18 26.5
19 22.5
20 29
21 9

I used to stay up way too late drinking and listening to music or painting, and I always blamed it on the alcohol. But now I seem to stay just as late, even though most nights are AF. I had one little bottle of wine this week, and 1 1/2 beers. The paint thinner taste is gone for me now, but I'm not really wanting the drinks either. I drank one night this week mostly out of habit. I think that ultimately alcohol for me will be a special occasion thing. I'm still learning it . . .

Well done Firebird.
Your posts really give me hope.
Thanks for sharing on my post that you were experiencing similar things as I am at week 11.
I am still at the stage of staying up watching brainless TV. Any excuse for me to sip I think.
Hope it all continues to go well for you.
6DIJ

I'm still not totally happy with my numbers. Having declared myself cured, I feel like I should be at 5-6 drinks a week, like most of the others. I'm not complaining - no way!! - but this is just being more complicated than I thought. One thing I have figured out is that I practiced TSM mostly on wine and beer. When I start right out with the hard stuff, things can still get out of control, although "out of control" now means 7 drinks instead of 16. There was one such occasion on each of the last two weeks.

First I went on vacation again, in the mountains. In the past this has been probably a 80-100 drink week. The previous time it was a 60 drink week. Right after that was when my numbers began to plummet. This last time I had 18 drinks, eight in one night, and the rest spread out over the rest of the week.

Last week we had a band meeting where we decided on a two month hiatus. That night also I had seven drinks, starting off with a shot of tequila. Things didn't get totally out of control, I just had about three drinks more than I had planned. Point is, I'm still learning this thing. There are still triggers to extinguish. And I'm still getting better. In no way do I think I'm "not cured" now, thing are just totally different than they were before. I think maybe we need better terminology than we have at this point.

I was hesitant to post this, especially because there are people on "other sites" making untrue claims about our "cured" drinking levels. But I don't really give a **** about them. I feel it's important for people here to know that it's not just BOOM - cured - out of the woods, at least, not for me. It's more complicated than that, as Springer pointed out. I still have work to do. And honesty is really important at this stage. It is how people will know that when we say TSM cures people of alcohol addiction, we absolutely mean it. No bullshit!

So I'm going back to reporting my numbers in my sig, even when they're not what I had hoped, because I know for sure they will be soon.

Good luck everyone, and a special fingers crossed for Houtx, Virgil and Labear - you guys deserve to see some progress

Fire.

Hello Firebird ,
It's still early days yet . Although I understand your concern . The five or six drinks a week of some others may actually be exceptional as it does exceed the nine drinks a week we see in the book .
I think you're right some kind of effort is needed question is what to do exactly .
I believe the age old moderation tricks hve a new role for me with NAl behind me.
One thing that may help is the following . Stopping at three or four drinks is much easier than at six or more . Former attempts at moderation for me were hit and miss but there was some sucess if I observed the 3/4 limit . It flies in the face of the idea that as soon as an alky takes one drink there's no stopping . If it worked sometimes and was hard before it should be a lot easier now with the NAl . In fact I've been doing it and find it works . But you have to foresee a bit the contexts you drink in avoid drinking before the evening and whatever works for you .
If you manage something like that you still work on extinction too.
A friend of mine who works on moderation is forever carrying a huge cup around
simply drinking other things curbs his alcohol intake . Hot tea works well .
All of this I think is just second to the force of NAL which will steam on and take it's toll .
As you say the term "cured " is also tricky but it does have bearing on Eskapa's book title too and hence tsm's vision .
Finding another word isn't easy because if we're not cured what the hell are we ??
"Saved "is about the most accurate but the connotations are particularly rich and other for the word , it wouldn't do .
Let's kick it about .

Please don't let the other site dictate our open and honest discussion here. We learn from each other here and respect each other's thoughts and feelings. That seems to be in short supply "over there", although there were a few thoughtful people that were truly interested in everyone's well being and recovery, rather than dogma and agendas that pervade that site.

I experienced a "Boom, I'm cured"... but it was not smooth sailing after that. We still can make bad decisions. We can still overdue it. The important thing is that the addiction doesn't control our lives anymore. We now control alcohol. And the longer we are "cured", the more control we have in my limited experience thus far. I would like to drink less than the 5 per week I now drink on average, and that may be the nature of "recoveryism" in which we demand that we must do better. As an outside observer that was never involved in addiction or recovery would see it, there's nothing wrong with 5 per week. I'm not even sure if that if I went to the local AA meeting and said I drank one drink almost every day except weekends that they wouldn't laugh me out of the meeting.

So, yes, there's more work to do, if you feel that there is more work to do. If you are happy where you are at, then so be it, it's good for you. What do you care what the cult thinks? And I was recently just as guilty as "they" are in that respect. When you first declared victory, I looked at your numbers and initially thought... Hey, I think he's declaring victory a little early. Then I realized I was using my measuring stick to measure your progress. In short, not my call and certainly not my business. Only you can say that you are cured. And since you have declared it, I believe it. I am also glad that you see that once the addiction is arrested that all our problems don't magically go away and resolve themselves. We still live in the real world. We still need to be mature responsible adults and handle our problems in a constructive sensible manner and that we are doing.

Bob

Thanks

Thanks, Firebird. It's good of you to think of us.

All the best.

V.

I really appreciate your honesty Firebird- i agree it is important to be honest here. We are after all on a learning curve and for those of us behind you it is really important to know that it won't all be smooth sailing. I've just been writing about my experience on another thread. I am in no way completely cured yet but feel i am well on the way and am already pondering the side effects of learning to be a moderate drinker. I know my target has been to consistently drink below UK guidelines for women which is 14 units per week and 2-3 units per session. I want to be able to mostly say in advance -i will only have one or two glasses tonight. But i also know that people who are 'normal' drinkers occasionally drink a little too much or more than they intended.
anyway keep posting and never worry about the critics otherwise we end up exercising the same crazy 'groupthink' which is present on some other sites.