(Just after Week 4)

OK – I finally started a thread for my progress (or lack thereof). I’ve not had a good start, but I’m determined to keep trying. I also don’t want anyone to get discouraged because of my experience so far.

I’ve just had a lousy couple of weeks. Learned that I lost a promising job opportunity, and after being unemployed for just over a year, that hit me hard. The president of the company is somebody I actually HIRED when I worked there 15 years ago! Even with my connections and qualifications, they went with another previous employee. Finding a job in Michigan right now takes a miracle. Anyhow, I’m getting over it now, and trying to have a positive attitude.

One thing I was shocked to learn from some of you is that Topamax could be prescribed for alcohol cravings. I took it for 4 months a few years ago as a mood stabilizer (for bipolar), and it was horrible! It actually made me start drinking in the mornings, and that hasn’t stopped ever since. Most medications don’t bother me, but I had EVERY possible side effect. Gave me such severe anxiety that became afraid to leave my house!! Drinking was the only thing that helped the anxiety, and I never let go of the ritual.

I’ve decided to put my weekly summary in my signature, and will post any significant details as they come along. By the way, could you all please update your profile to add Location? Just click on User Control Panel (upper right on screen), then choose Profile, and enter where you live in the Location box. It would help a great deal in keeping track of all the members, as the list keeps growing….and that’s a great thing! Thanks for all your support.

Kris

HI Kris!

I'm Bob, an HFA (Highly Functional Alcoholic). I've tried all remedies available (I think) and stumbled on Naltrexone and the Sinclair Method 2 days later and I'm giving it a try while waiting on my book. I feel it working even though I'm in the early stages of a several month long recovery.

I'm sorry about the lost job opportunity

Yes... stay away from Topamax. I could author a book as to why it should be banned (at least for me). The only thing worse than Topomax, was Antabuse. Although it kept me from drinking it also had the unusual side-effect of taking away my "Inner voice". I could not make decisions withou speaking aloud what I wanted to think. This condition lasted for weeks and I asked my psychiatrist if my brain was permanently damaged. He shrugged and said there was nothing he could do. If the damage was done, it was unfixable, but likely it would wear off and thankfully it did!

I am a diagnosed hypomanic with OCD, so unfortunately I have to take anxiolics (Valium), Buspar, and Paxil. So, I am thoroughly addicted to benzos and must stay tranquilized otherwise I don't sleep at all. I have had an extremely high energy level all my life and have been underweight all my life due to bein "Hyper" until recently when I finally made it to the lower end of normal weight due to my chemically-induced slower lifestyle. All of this and trying not to be an alchy is difficult, but as someone once said "you cannot be a Failure if you Never give up".

We will never give up.

Bob

Kris-

So sorry to hear about the job- but it is maybe for the best- you probably would not really feel your life was advancing if you went back to working for somebody you employed so many years ago. (I was in that situation about 6 years ago- I went to a company who I knew would always be happy to give me a job- I found out one of my ex- employees would be MY boss) I was desperate for a job at the time but did not think it would be wise for him or I- as it turned out it was a good decision and something better was just around the corner a few weeks later. So hang in there, something much better will turn up soon.

I would not be too concerned about your start- just keep taking the nal one hour before you drink and keep the drink diary- I am sure you will start seeing positive changes soon- we have been told this should take about 4 months. I think it was Springer who said to take a pen and mark a date on the calender six months from when you started.

I think that is the date to evaluate- not now, but just make sure we stick to the rules!

I think that is great advice- we are trying to think this into working too much when we don't have to, we only have to take the Nal, and forget about it, apart from 10 seconds a day to fill out the drink diary

Keep us posted please!

Agreed Marby.

It is really easy to get into this mindset that The Sinclair Method should just cure us now and it is easy to get down on yourself when this doesn't happen. I've certainly felt this way at times.

I keep going back to the extinction curve in Dr. Eskapa's book. For the first couple months, the people in the trial were still drinking heavily with respect to safe drinking levels. It wasn't until month 3-4 when these levels started approaching safe drinking levels.

Kris, it is going to be a good 4-6 weeks before you see a noticeable drop in your drinking, especially given where you started. As Marby pointed out, just keep charting your progress and taking your Nal. Let The Sinclair Method do it's thing.

Q

Hi Kris and Bob,

Kris, I can identify with how you feel as I also have had my drinking escalate this past week. I believe it's because I'm giving myself 'permission' to drink, because of the Nal. And why not? Either this will work, or it won't. If it happens that it won't, then I'll try the baclofen. (Just ordered the book by an eminent physician who cured himself of alcoholism by self-prescribing and taking large doses of baclofen.)

One way or another. . .one day or another. . .I'll get this beast under control!

Bob, I can so identify with your experience with Topa. I tried it for three weeks, and got extremely depressed. It not only did not curb my drinking, but I drank more due to the depression! While I'm usually very happy-go-lucky when drinking, I became quite mean-spirited and critical when on that drug. Not for me! The Naltrexone, on the other hand, has little or no side effects. Sometimes I feel a little sleepy, is all.

Bob, Marby, Q and G4M - thanks for the support!

I'll get a job someday, and right now curing my alcoholism is more important. It's probably all related to the "everything happens for a reason" saying, but it's hard to see the big picture sometimes. Life isn't meant to be easy, but without struggles, it would be really boring!

I'm so happy to see that many of you have updated your Location in your Profile. It's very interesting to see where everyone lives, and it's exciting to see how international this group is! Thanks again.

Kris

Week 5 was interesting for me. While my total units (67) doesn’t seem like much progress, my drinking pattern was different. On the good side, I drank fewer days in the morning, and managed to control my cravings (not lose control) on a couple days. However, I still blew it at times. Had my worst day ever (20 units!). I had one AF day, but that was just due to being exhausted from going crazy the night before.

I find I am rarely able to control myself when liquor is readily available, so I need to manage my supply to avoid getting into trouble. If I have more than ½ pint around, I usually won’t stop. I look forward to the day when I can say no, even when I’m free to drink.

I’m going to see my Mom this weekend, which is a HUGE trigger. She has a serious alcohol problem, and we have a long history of partying together. I know we’ll drink, and the best I will hope for is that I won’t get completely blasted as I usually do. I’ll also tell her about TSM, as she doesn’t know about it yet. I doubt I’d be able to convince her to try it at this point. She lives by herself, is extremely lonely, and not nearby any family. Drinking eases her pain. She’s just waiting to die in a way – very sad, but I can’t do much more than call often, and see her whenever possible. Who knows – maybe one day she’ll meet a friend (as we all have hoped for), and get a renewed sense of joy for life. Then I’m sure she would care.

Overall, I’m not disappointed with my progress, and I’m sure it will continue to improve. Best of luck to us all – Cheers!

Thanks for the update, Kris. My mom was a heavy drinker as well. Unfortunately, she was not equipped to be much of a mom, so my childhood was a living hell, and I held it against her for all of her life. We didn't have much of a relationship at all, except for when I had her and her husband over during the holidays. Those days I didn't drink, and was very judgemental of her drinking. Goes to show. . .

Now that I am drinking I can see so many things about my mother more clearly. Though she's passed, I know that she is aware that I've forgiven her - and I know she's forgiven me, as well. Now my daughter and I love to party together on occasion - she also has a problem, though she hasn't admitted to it yet. I've been very open about TSM with all my friends and family. . .and can only hope that as I recover, it will be an encouragement to them.

Im a self-made alcoholic, so there is no one to blame except myself. I accept that and I accept I think I have the cure (SM).

My drinking has gotten worse in recent days beginning week 3. I cant even remember last night. I have no idea how many units I had. Its complicated to calculate because I am taking prescribed Valium and Buspar, which are both depressants.

The buzz is definitely gone. The only thing I look forward to is the feeling of nothingness before I pass out or go to sleep. I hope this crazy train of drinking starts to slow down in a few weeks, otherwise I could wind up dead.

Bob

Bob,

Don't be so hard on yourself or get discouraged so easily. It's too early to evaluate your progress,and it WILL get better. Just hang in there