Well, Hopefully today is THE day! I've been tracking the delivery of the Nal that I ordered from River exactly two weeks ago and if the good 'ol USPS website is to be trusted, it's on the delivery truck headed to my mailbox TODAY.

I feel like I've been drinking more than usual (in the closet, of course) in the last two weeks knowing the Nal was coming and that "ah" feeling as Jaba describes it, is about to go the way of the do-do bird. Case in point - went to dinner and an Eagles restrospective with hubby and his parents and sibs last night (a wee bit before my era, but enjoyable as I recognized all of the songs from the albums my older brothers and sisters listened to... but I digress...). I snuck a cocktail in while my husband was picking one of our kids up from soccer, had two glasses of wine at dinner and another glass during the concert. We drove 45 minutes home and hubby went straight to bed. I stayed up under the guise of reading the paper, but (really) it was just so I could pour myself another glass of wine. I am so incredibly eager for that "I-want-just-one-more" craving to GO AWAY. Did I really need 5 drinks between 4:00 and midnight on a Thursday? For reference, I'm 5'2" and weigh 95 lbs...

So, God willing and the creek don't rise, I'll be taking my first dose of Nal late this afternoon, anticipating date night with my husband. (I don't cook on Fridays - EVER) Thanks for asking about me, Jaba... I'll keep you posted. Thanks again to all of you for all of the Pre-Nal support you've offered. I'll get a few days of it under my belt before I make the final decision on whether to keep my appt with the clinic a week from Monday. Still absolutely terrified of this going on my medical record so I'm leaning toward canceling the appt.

Oh....and now that I'm officially starting this journey, I've created a progress signature. Here I go.....

It's a bit like the days before starting a diet, going crazy with soon to be forbidden fruit.

Daft aint it.

If you want some advice, mine is take the pill and chill.

MinniMom,

I am glad your pills have arrived and you are ready to jump eagerly into this program.

The pill may make you feel nauseated and with you being so small you might want to start out with 1/4 of a tablet. I purchased a pill cutter just to make sure they didn't fly across the room and possibly get lost.

When I dropped off my script to be filled our Walgreens didn't carry nal. I had to wait a day before I started the pills and I drank so much that night I woke up drunk the next day. The good news is when you start the pill your intake should decrease that first time. You may want to be prepared for you may get tired until you get use to the pill, and you may get drunk on a lot less (try not to drive any where if you are drinking).

Keep us posted, and I am glad you start a progress page,

Jaba

MinneMom,

This was so me when I started TSM. I rarely went to bed with my husband so I could drink on. When he would pick up his elderly aunt for dinner at our house, I always had a little shot of vodka to fortify me and when he took her home, another little shot. This was a good reminder of how things have changed for me. I do not do this any longer. YAY! I need to focus on these little changes and not so much on the things that haven't changed. I still get that "ah" feeling when I have my first drink. I just know that will end for me and I will be dancing from the rafters when it does.

Good Luck to you. I hope you tolerate the nal well. Keep us posted!

Dee

Well, I made it through the first night. My observations.... (mostly for me, not because I expect responses! )

I took it a half a pill (25 mg) at about 4:00 pm, a full two hours before my first drink. I had a cocktail first, which tasted fine. Although, I don't normally drink cocktails, so it could have been "off" but I just wouldn't recognize it! Then I had a glass of Rombauer Chardonnay with my dinner... it was good, I don't think it tasted markedly different... hard to tell because it's been a long time since I've had a huge, oaky chard!

When we got home from dinner, I proceeded to down 3 more glasses of my cheap white wine. That, on the other hand, tasted like water! I got really, really sleepy after my first glass of wine at home... but I still didn't stop drinking. WHY???

I'm feeling really discouraged because, at the end of the day, my drinking didn't feel different last night and my drinking pattern wasn't at all altered. I had such high hopes that I would be like so many of the stories I'e read here where they noticed a change immediately. I know that I need to be patient and that the vast majority of us take longer than the book even states. I just wanted a tiny glimmer of what my future might feel like with the Nal...

So, in total, I had 5 drinks last night... a typical Friday night. Today I had bouts of nauseousness that I'm not sure if they were caused by the Nal. I was worried about a Nal-over after the amount I drank last night, but did not have one. Phew! I had a lot to get done today, the least of which was to host the pre-Homecoming photo party before my oldest son's first Homecoming! I took my Nal 2.5 hours ago and am just having the first sips of my first drink (which I need to have quickly as my husband is gone only to drop another of the kids at a friend's house... I'm still closet drinking....), so we'll see where I end up tonight.... Thanks for reading...

MinniMom,

Please drink those drinks as slow as you can so your brain can register the drinks.

This is your first night and only 1/4 a pill. Please give it time. Everyone is different! In the mean time, please keep a log of your drinks, for that is the biggest part of TSM. You will have changes and they may be slight so keeping a drinking diary, and desire for al., will help you see those changes. Do not give up, for I think it took me a good 4 months to be able to do mindful drinking and about another 2 for the desire to be not so strong. The honeymoon period may come by day 2 to 3, or it may not come at all, and if it doesn't it doesn't mean that it is not working, for it is. The nal. is reprograming your receptors and that does take time.

Hang in there, and remember to wait that entire hour,

Jaba

For now you just have to take the pill, wait an hour, drink perhaps with the idea of slowing it down a bit, and wait. Things will start to change for you.

Waiting after a drink, delaying an additional drink by an hour or two, can often bring a surprising lack of desire to drink more.

You don't need to go overboard with that concept, but give it a shot.

Drinking five drinks or so in a short period of time, and that is very unlikely to happen.

I think Jaba can attest to that.

Maybe it is working!

So, as you read in my last post, Friday night felt like a failure to me. Saturday and Sunday nights were much better. I religiously took my Nal around 4:00-ish both days and it was a couple of hours after that I had my first drink (both days). Saturday night, over the course of 6 hours, I had 3.5 glasses of wine. And let me tell you what.... the Nal made me soooooo sleepy. Wow! Same thing last night, too! After the 3.5 drinks, or actually about part way through the third one, I asked myself if I really really wanted another one. I didn't, but I poured myself one anyway. I got halfway through it and decided "enough is enough!" and pushed it away.

Then, last night, I had one glass of wine while I made dinner, which took almost 2 hours. I nursed it and was mindful in how I was drinking. I found myself sipping it much more slowly. Meanwhile, my husband was outside by the pool reading during this time. He poured my first glass with me and (normally) I would've been sneaking to the laundry to refill my glass while he wasn't looking. I almost did it, out of habit, but again asked myself "Do I really really want another one?" The answer was "no" and I made my one glass last 2 hours! Yay me! Thing is, it felt pretty effortless after I talked myself off the "habit" vs "need" cliff.

My husband opened a wonderful red with dinner and poured me a glass. I made THAT glass last another 2 hours. I started getting super sleepy again, and the thought of another glass of wine, just didn't appeal to me. I wonder how much of this is just my habit? I'm so used to keeping up with my husband drink-for-drink (he also had a beer and the last 3 glasses of wine in the bottle of red last night), that it feels almost automatic? If I can work on the habit part and let the Nal work on the al part, I might make it after all!

And a couple of asides: My son dislocated his shoulder during his baseball game yesterday afternoon, so the day was pretty stressful... ER, seeing your kid in so much pain, etc. Then I got home and my husband is acting really distant, not affectionate, dismissive of me. When I left the house that morning all was fine. Normally, that is how he treats me after I gone on a binge and have torn into him. I feel extremely HIGH levels of anxiety when he acts this way towards me... knowing it's my fault and hoping he'll come around and forgive me for my egregious behavior. I asked him, twice, a couple of hours apart if he was angry with me. He said he wasn't, but the behavior continued. I suspect there was an incident between him and his son (blended family issues abound) and he's taking it out on me. He went to bed "mad" but I don't know what about. So, anyway, between my son's injury and my husband putting me in time out, I was/am REALLY anxiety-ridden. One of the things about me, quite unexpected, is when I feel this type of anxiety, I do NOT have a desire to drink. In fact, my body's entire digestive system shuts down and I don't feel like eating, either. If I try to eat when I'm that anxious, I often can't keep it down. I'm wondering if my high stress level might also have had something to do with my reduced drinking last night? I feel MORE anxious today as my husband isn't really talking to me and I don't know why... I'll take my Nal today, but may have an anxiety induced af day...

Minnemom:

It is all sounding like you are having a really good start on nal. Very happy to hear about that. I know you have posted and read a lot here on this forum, but just be prepared for ups and downs. Fasten your seat belt.

I am sorry about your husband's behavior, and I can understand why that would cause anxiety. I think based upon your first post that you have a doctor/counseling appointment coming up in early October? I am glad about that, because I do think that counseling will be helpful, especially with the sexual abuse issues. There is no way that I could ever deal with that alone. I wonder if maybe getting some marital counseling, even if one or two sessions, might not be a good idea too at some point.

Hang in there and I hope that your husband will be warmer and more supportive soon.

xoxo Newlife