All right, so, I still haven't started with the pills-- but tomorrow will be my first day! So perhaps I am jumping the gun, but I wanted to give you guys a little bit of insight into how my drinking is, pre-TSM. In front of me, I've got a bottle of vodka, and due to shaky hands and hangover symptoms, I started drinking at roughly 12:30pm today. Some days, I start from anywhere from 2pm - 7pm, but today, I was feeling exceptionally weak, and not to mention, anxious. I've had a panic disorder for a long time now, which I used to have professionally treated with xanax (3mg daily), but I was worried about the potentially life-threatening withdrawals, so I slowly gave those up last year. I'd been totally sober for roughly three years until mid-2010, but due to the horrible anxiety brought on by an abortion and divorce, I fell back into the drinking trap. Sometimes, this would mean four-day binges, followed by, say, four-day AF days, but lately, this has meant daily drinking, although I try not to ever get blackout drunk, or even too tipsy. Unfortunately, though, I have a high tolerance, it seems-- despite being a 105lb 25-year-old female!!-- so I could be drinking over half a 750ml bottle of vodka throughout the day, and still be fairly functional.

Anyway... Today is my very last day without naltrexone, and so far, I've had about 400-450ml of vodka. To be honest, currently, I don't even feel that drunk, but I just don't want to be drinking at such a high quantity on a regular basis. It's embarrassing, unhealthy and unnecessary. So I'm extremely excited to get started tomorrow! I'm feeling anxious about the side effects, whatever they may be, and worrying about whether this will work for me, but overall, I'm feeling positive and ready to put my best foot forward with this. I hope you guys will join me on this journey, and give me support and advice throughout it. I respect every single one of you so much for making this effort, and I am excited to have a support network that believes in the dignity of recovery. The first time I went through treatment, I found that I was often treated like a child, like someone who couldn't be trusted, like a mental patient. I feel this time will be very different! Thank you all for reading, and the best of luck on each of your individual journeys as well!

Welcome -- so glad you found us! You are very young and that is a good thing because TSM definitely works more quickly for people who have been drinking shorter time periods. It really does work for about 80% who try it, according to the studies and the results of over 800 people on this board. Typical side effects are a nuisance but go away within a week for almost everybody. They include nausea, feeling "spacey", fatigue and sleep disturbance. Take a half pill the first time on a full stomach to minimize side effects. And read up on TSM. If you don't have the book the key excerpts are on this site, just check the board index. Most people typically experience an immediate decrease in drinking ("the honeymoon") followed by a spike. It takes several months but you are gradually reconditioning your brain to become un-addicted.

TSM works and this is no snake oil sale. None of us here are making a penny off TSM and there is no reason but complete honesty on the board.

My best,

Nick

Hi Pixiedoll

Good luck for your journey with TSM. I felt very tired and a bit nauseous for the first few days on it but the side effects usually go away quickly. I hope you experience the "honeymoon period" most of us have experienced. I look forward to reading up on your progress.

Cheers
Sticky

Welcome pixel doll, you've been through a lot in 25 years and good for you that you've figured it out sooner rather than later. Nick is spot on with his advice. If you continue to drink vodka be sure to use a shot glass when you are pouring drinks. I used to eyeball bourbon in a glass and it would end up being 3-4 shots per drink by the end of the night. Remember one drink=one shot (1.5 oz) so you can do a little harm reduction while you are waiting for you numbers to come down. You may very well respond in 3-4 months but be prepared for some ups and downs. Good luck today and post often

First day... Oh boy. I was prepared for side effects, but this nausea is intense, guys! I feel very light-headed, and I'm drinking my first drink reaaaaally slowly because I'm a bit scared to combine drunkenness with the effect of the meds!!

This is pretty much standard, though, isn't it? Will someone pleaaaaase tell me that this feeling eventually goes away? ;P

It goes away. Take a half pill the first few times on a full stomach. Within a week you'll feel normal, you'll see.

Welcome Pixeldoll. You are very lucky to have found TSM so young. The nausea goes away for almost everyone within a week.

Lord almighty, was yesterday ever a wild ride. I was dizzy, I was nauseous, I was loopy, I was panicked, I was anxious... But throughout it all, I certainly noticed that I approached drinking in an entirely different way. I drank enough to calm my frazzled nerves (from the side effects), which ended up being five units... For me, that was certainly progress-- on a normal day, I can easily drink about twelve units-- I like to down them fast, and quickly pour myself another, and then just carry on until I black out. Last night, I felt sort of... Uninterested? I drank, but it felt like I was forcing myself to down the drinks. Eventually, I asked myself, "Do I even want another?", and the answer was, simply, no.

After coming to this conclusion, though, I had the mother of all panic attacks, but it was oddly juxtaposed with a clear-minded joy. I have no idea whether it was a side effect of the nal or what, but it was intense.

Anyway-- day two. I was feeling quite anxious and shaken up this morning, worrying about whether the treatment will continue to prove effective, and a while after waking up, I decided to take my pill just in case my nerves ended up getting the best of me at some point. However... About an hour after doing so, I realized that I was feeling a lot calmer and a lot more relaxed. The side effects are MUCH lighter today (so far), and I'm not even sure I really want that drink.

Now, here's a question for you guys! How long do the effects of the nal last in the system? For instance, say I decide I don't want to drink just now, but I already took the pill-- if I wanted a drink in, say, four hours, would that still count as following TSM?

Answer: yes. A full pill (50 mg) covers you for 24 hours. Are you taking a half pill or full pill? A half pill covers your brain receptors for roughly 12 hours.

Great news for you: the immediate loss of interest in drinking is "the honeymoon" and is strong evidence that TSM will work for you! I have never seen anyone here have the honeymoon and then report that TSM was a failure. The unlucky 20% or so who naltrexone does not work for typically report no side effects, no honeymoon and no subjective difference while drinking on naltrexone. So, this does NOT appear to be you, which, needless to say, is great news. Now that being said, once your body acclimates to the naltrexone you will very likely be drinking as usual. So when that happens, do not feel defeated, it's just part of the long extinction process.

As you progress with the method I would still do my best to get away from vodka or spirits. It's very easy to have major units in no time on the hard stuff; it's a lot harder to have huge units with beer or wine. So if you can, try to wean yourself off of your favorite booze -- your numbers will go down more quickly, I'm confident of it.

My best,

Nick

Thanks, Nick! I'm currently only on the half pill, but in a few days, when I'm more used to the stuff, I plan to make the leap to 50mg! In any case, I've been thinking about it, and I've decided that maybe I should make the switch to beer... I just worry it will be my usual situation, where I end up drinking about ten in one night and feeling disgusting and bloated, yet still craving more. Wine, I have trouble with, honestly, because I simply don't like the flavor, and the hangovers are the worst for me. Decisions, decisions...