Hi everyone,
After introducing myself on the newbies' board, here goes nothing! My first week on nal was very successful from a not drinking standpoint, but also full of a lot of unwanted side effects (nausea, jitteryness, irritability, etc). Week 1: 8.5 drinks (which is unheard of for me!) and total control, it felt like, over my drinking. Week 2: side effects are getting better, though still there. Sometimes when I go to have a drink, it makes me actively unwell, rather than just not being very exciting. Managed to go out one night and have a lot of fun, though, and definitely drank a LOT less than usual. And again, felt confident that I would not get out of control. Total for Week 2: 13 drinks.
Onward and upward!
EL

Awesome EL, well done and keep us posted of progress.

Any more progress? Your units are similar to mine; I binge weekends only, but feel the effects for days.

Thanks guys! It's only been two weeks on the nal for me, spinedoc, so this is all the good news I have for now But I certainly hope to keep it coming - would really like to keep my weekly average at or under 15 drinks, and never consume more than 4-5 drinks in an evening. It's going to be tough though, because I am defending my PhD in early May, and then comes a whole round of graduations and celebrations. With nal I think I can do it - the trick is just to never ever decide not to take the nal. I think I will start carrying it on me rather than just taking it in the morning - generally I can plan ahead my drinking quite well, but in the upcoming month things might be a bit more spontaneous!!!
EL

Your progress is fantastic El! Glad to hear you are doing so well on TSM. Keep us posted, and thanks.

A relatively easy AF day (as most mondays, tuesdays, and thursdays are for me). Therapy, then work, hot yoga, some television and surfing the internet. I did have a momentary wobble today when out of the blue a friend of mine asked me to go out for celebratory drinks (she just completed a big project). I did not have nal on me, however (I usually take it with breakfast or lunch to reduce side effects) and I was honestly really looking forward to my yoga class. So I declined. She pressured. I declined again. That kind of willpower is stuff I've worked on in therapy a lot - but it does make me sad sometimes that not being able to control my drinking means losing out on sociability. Almost all of my drinking is out and about with friends and loved ones. It's hard not to drink in those situations (though I do have some practice doing that) and it's hard to control my drinking when I am happy and socializing and having fun. So sometimes I choose just not to put myself in those situations. I'm afraid it makes me a terribly boring person, but I kind of need to know ahead of time if it's a drinking day or not now. Otherwise, they will all be drinking days lol!!!
The plan is basically a repeat for tomorrow (work, gym, hang out at home with the bf), but wednesday night will involve drinks and ping pong playing So I will be sure to take a nal that morning. Incidentally, I'll be hanging with a friend who is actually AA-ing it right now, so I wonder if I should just not drink....but the selfish drinker in me says, wednesday night is my only weeknight where I'm allowed to drink, damnit I want to!!! (My friend has expressed that she does not mind either way).
Anybody here hang with AA-ers? I've tried to talk to my friend about TSM but she's not biting. And I really think AA is making her depressed, seeing herself as a broken, diseased individual with no control....
EL

I've noticed increased jitteryness and depression since going back on NAL. Also, blackouts. Units are about 10/night, 1-2 nights/week (weekends only). It sucks having my wife and daughter say "I already told you that!" "College-levels" of alcohol, same pattern: I worked hard all week and "deserve" a "reward".

Was able to abstain at a family Easter party on Sunday. My parents count everyone's drinks, plus I work Mondays, so it wasn't that difficult.

Glad to be making "silent progress" on NAL, and will start some self-discipline against the habit-portion of the problem. I think that it will have to start at the liquor store with purchasing less beer. If it's there, it's consumed. I'll occasionally drink wine or liquor if I run out of beer, but not often. I really can't have more than 1 non-beer drink.

Congrats on your PhD progress!

Ugh. So tonight went out with friends to play ping pong and have a few drinks - one of my friends there was even an AA-er. I had three martinis and then man, I did NOT WANT TO STOP DRINKING, I guess the honeymoon is over, because that old pull was just as strong as always. the only things that kept me from drinking more? Being with my boyfriend and going home together, and yes, the dreaded harm reduction therapy (nick b but I was - and am as I am posting this - whiteknuckling it. No desire to keep drinking for the sake of drinking -there's plenty of alcohol in the house - but for the sake of going OUT, meeting people, being sponteanous, having a life.
This is going to be hard.
EL

The "extinction burst" rears its inevitable head once again. The bad news is that your cravings have returned at full strength. The good news is that this is your body subconsciously reaching for the old endorphin rush that is not coming and is proof positive TSM is working. You'll get there, just mix in a little patience.

Naltrexone + drinking + harm reduction + patience and doubt = regaining control.

Thanks Nick for the support. In the end, I DID control last night, since as I said I made the "right choice," went home with the bf and did not drink more. But it felt like the days pre-naltrexone, in that I had to do it with massive amounts of effort. So yep, my honeymoon is over. It's funny, even though I read all these posts here saying that this is totally part of the process, etc, and tried to prepare myself for it...it still feels shitty and like maybe TSM isn't going to work for me. But it will!!! I must keep faith.
Additionally...ugh hangover! The nal hangover is different, but it's nasty all the same. I'm gonna estimate that those three martinis were more like 8 units, as it's all hard liquor and two of them were larger sized. I sometimes wish I could drink beer, since it's easier to count units and you've got more liquid to sip over longer time, but I really can't have more than a beer or two without being fairly ill (GI/wheat issues). So I really only drink white wine, vodka martinis, or bourbon. Hard alcohol is always been hard to measure for me, esp. in bars.
Anyways, I will keep plugging on. Tomorrow night is a bit tense in my mind, as it is the birthday party of one of my heaviest drinking friends — the sort of friend that will actively goad you on to drink more. I'm thinking that I will maybe not stay toooo long as this party. My goal is to stick to 6 drinks, and then be AF Saturday. (I'm AF-ing today as well).
EL