Hi All,

This is my first post, I'm New to Nal and TSM. I have contemplated starting TSM for 6 months time, didn't have the courage before.Been drinking heavily nightly for the past 5 years, and weekend binging for the past 15 or so years before that. I guess I have always loved the drink, and beer was always my thing, even loved it as child, taking sips from dad's beer. In more recent years red wine became my go to drink and a real problem for me. It's way too delicious and moreish as far as I'm concerned. I also enjoy white, but experience shocking headaches the next day every time, so choose beer or red instead.

I knew i was out of control. All i wanted was to not drink mid-week, start to regain control, but every week I failed. My marriage became strained. I also went from fit and slim to pudgy, ruddy and tired. I have recently been diagnosed with a health condition and drinking is said to be a no no. Not life threatening, but drink exacerbates my problem and will eventually make it life threatening if i don't get a handle on it. But, even faced with that, I haven't, couldn't, stop drinking. I've reduced a tad, but nothing ongoing significant. No AF days at all.

So here I am. One week and one day in. I'm still on 25mg as I felt out of this world to begin with. Like off my face the first two days. It really curbed the cravings. I've read other posts that state you feel like you're in an observer state on Nal, outside of your body. I get that. Also, I am not enjoying alcohol on this. I feel gross. First drink does nothing, feels nothing, then the alcohol drunkeness sets in and not the high, also as others have mentioned. I had Fri night off Nal. I was fighting it, being rebellious and boy did I drink a lot. Scary, like the monster C. Christian refers to in her book. Sat off Nal too, it's like Fri night shut off my sense of purpose. I drank way less drinks though and slowly, which I am relieved at.

So I am back on the Nal and determined not to stray again. Unfortunately I feel a negative feeling every time I pop a pill 1 hour beforehand. Not sure why, guess I'm anxious about side effects, or disappointed I won't get my alcohol buzz. I don't know. I refuse to let myself fall into the mind trap though and I want to turn my thinking around on that, any suggestions?

I am not loving the side effects. Dizziness, some nausea, restless sleep, bad dreams and burning face (when drinking). I am, however, loving the reduction I've had so far most night I have taken Nal. Only two drinks tonight, and slowly. I dreamt I was a drinker in control. I am a little scared about upping to 50mg, might do 3/4 of a tab first. Would that be ok? Thanks so much for all your inspirational posts, I really do find strength in reading about your journeys, successes and tips. I know, anticipate, it will be a long road ahead.

Hi Willow,

I am fairly new to TSM and Nal as well. I also scept a few days in the beginning mainly because of the side effects.
But in my case at least side effects are much less now.
I idn't notice a big difference in side effecyts when going from 25 ml to 50 ml.

i find if i dtink before or soon after talking the Nal it is worse in terms pf side effects (irritabiliuty and tiredness in my case, inculding the day after)

So just gi ti the 50 ml. don't know if you work (I do fuill yime) butif you do maybe up the doze on a weekend?

Anywat, Best of luck!

Willow,
That sounds like a very dramatic first week -- a real battle between the good angel on your right shoulder and the bad one on your left (like in the movies). In reading through so many posts, I've been really surprised about how many people around here (men included) drink wine heavily, as opposed to liquor. I think your taste for beer will actually be a benefit to you; given your sensitivity to Nal, it would be really hard to get drunk on beer (it would take quite a bit of effort), versus some around here who chug lots of hard liquor when their hour wait time is up!

I think your main challenge is going to be getting over the negative feelings you get with Naltrexone -- it was so unpleasant that you
violated the "Golden Rule" and drank without Naltrexone. Hopefully, the more you take it, the less negative your experience will be. If Nal+Drinking is miserable for you, it's going to be harder to stick to it.

The fact that you start to feel bad AS YOU TAKE NAL is pretty telling. It's likely something in your subconscious is getting upset (again, picture in the movies when a possessed person gets holy water splashed on them -- NOOOOOOOO!). This, too, is fixable. Remember, Metanoia -- change your mind. You would probably benefit from reading / reflecting through the Rational Recovery "Crash Course on AVRT" which helps addicts identify and ignore their "Addictive Voice." It takes just a few minutes and, at least for me, is really helpful. http://www.rationalrecovery.com click on the blue button "Crash Course on AVRT."

Anyway, keep up the good fight for your spouse and for your family and for your future. Don't beat yourself up about your lapse -- just look ahead.

Willow, I had side effects at first too. After a while, they completely went away.

Welcome Willow. I was after side effects after 1 week of 50mg.

I actually miss some of them, 1 being the honeymoon effect.

Hang in there.

Thank you all for the welcomes, encouragement and advice. It really helps so much. I am coming to the realisation I have been in total denial about how bad I was (even though I knew I was bad and couldn't see a way out of my problem) if that makes any sense. I think the fact that I could have some good days in between binges (which in my mind was like 4 or 5 drinks) and stop (never happily though) made me feel like I was ok, still in some way in control. I wasn't, haven't been at all for years. I am realising how utterly governed i was. I still am, but starting to think in different ways. Man this is going to mess with my mind a lot isn't it. I'm going through days of feeling okay, cheery, followed times of listlessness and today a bit of depression, but also feeling a tad stronger. Barry what you said was spot on and thanks for your link. it was really helpful. Also, Alice thanks for the reassurance re straying from Nal momentarily. I am actually happy as I have not missed another pill and while the voice inside me is saying, hey drinking feels good, go on...my determination must be kicking in, digging her heels in and saying, actually no it's not good and it's not getting you anywhere! Went out for dinner tonight, drank a few reds, tasted my meal, didn't obsess over the drinks as much (although the compulsion was still there), drove home (unusual) ill pay the earth on cabs to cart my drunken butt around and got home looked in the fridge to see a one of those European pop top resealable beers that I love and closed the door with minimal pain. Wow. Took 3/4 of 50g today and less side effects now. Bit of a rant, guess I got a lot going on in my mind right now.

Hi Willow

Hope you're getting on ok today ... I'm very new to this too .. I think you're maybe a week ahead of me ... but I'm also a fan of the wine = and agree about the moreishness! I think like you I was in a bit of denial about my problem -before starting this - cos all my attempts to "cut down" or "just have a couple tonight" definitely didn't work - until now with TSM.

I've got off to a great start and realise I'm lucky that apart from the flushing face - seem to feel ok re side effects. Hopefully yours are fading now and you're up to the full dose?

Just wanted to say hang in there .. the relief of not constantly obsessing about the next drink and the next is such a liberating feeling and here's to us both enjoying those "feeling like a normal drinker" moments. Good luck to you (just be careful please re driving .... I read a few posts from others more experienced cautioning strongly against any driving after drink and Nal)

Lorraine

Hi Lorraine,

Thanks for your post. I am happy to hear you are off to a great start. And also that you haven't had too many side effects to begin with. The side effects are subsiding, thankfully! I am now up to the full 50mg and not feeling anything too bad, except for tiredness. But hey, I was pretty tired before. You know what they say, alcohol induced sleep isn't really restful sleep, plus if i had a particularly full session of wine + beer I'd wake up guilty as hell at 1, 2, or 3 am and not be able to go back to sleep.

How are you going with your alc consumption? Mine is definitively down. 2-4 drinks per night. Today I'm feeling like getting on it, cause that's what I've done every weekend for the last 20 years, right. But I'm trying to keep it slow, drink some water as well and remember that Rome wasn't built in a day, so it may take a while to get over weekend binges.

I am worried that I'm putting on weight though! I've been trying to drop a few grog induced pounds for a while now and my alc consumption never allowed me to be successful. I've spent big $$$ on PT sessions for 9 months now and haven't changed much, except get stronger. I thought that reducing my alc content would bring my cals down considerably and it would hopefully start falling off. But i feel like it could be the reverse. The one thing I could say is that I have probably been eating more carbs than usual. i will stop that and go back to normal. I so want the TSM to work. I did a web search and while it seems unusual, i am worried I might be a rare one who gains weight. I was beginning to be so happy with my progress, don't want anything to get in the way

Hi Willow

Sounds like you're getting on well if your units are down to 2 - 4 a night ...good for you - well done!. I am hoping to reduce right down and have some AF nights during the week and allow myself few more units over the weekend. Last night went to the pub .. had 3 drinks (7 UK units) .. then a soda water! was really pleased ... felt pretty tired and zonked when I got home and it wasn't that late a night ... but usually I would have been having a nightcap or 2 when I got in .. not last night ... feel great this morning and raring to go! This is how is should be and what I've wishd for for ages.

So ... your weekend plan sounds good ... slow down and yes enjoy but certainly putting a delay in the way between one drink and the next really helps ...

Re the weight .. I have the same hopes/concerns. I lost weight with Atkins low carb and have kept it off pretty well ... but am sure some of my alc cravings are carb cravings and I kid myself I do low carb ... then drink wine in the evenings instead of having a meal! Not exactly the healthiest of diet plans!! I'd hoped the pounds would fly off ... but I've noticed I'm sneaking a few of my son's sweets in the evenings and have eaten more chocolate than usual! I don't really normally have a sweet tooth ... or so I thought .. but I'm possibly replacing the alc carbs with sugar Not good.

However, at the moment I'm just so pleased to have reduced my drinking (down from 60 uk units pre Nal to 24 last week) .. possibly honey moon ... but I've not gained any weight or lost - despite being pretty careful what I'm eating. (apart from the sweets)

Maybe its the lack of usual diuretic effect that alcohol has? A couple of extra pounds of fluid is nothing to worry about .. it'll soon come off ... maybe just concentrate on your drinking success and gradually we should lose a few pounds too I would reckon?

Have a good weekend

Lorraine

I definitely think I've been eating more in general, and definitely eating more sweets, since starting TSM. My alcohol calorie intake has dropped by the many thousands, but I didn't see a subsequent weight loss. I think I've been letting myself have "whatever" as a way of rewarding myself for not drinking, or to help me to avoid drinking -- I've always been one to do almost all of my drinking on an empty stomach -- never during or after dinner. I'm still just 158 pounds though at 5'9", so I'm still pretty thin. I've been on weight lifting supplements, as well, which always motivates me to lift weights more often. That's been going well.