Please help us. I live in the midwest with our kids part-time. I have to coplete alcohol testing after the kds have been with me. My 18 year old son lives with me.

My husband lives on the west coast for work. We have numerous problems, from family, my 6 years of binge drinking and finances. He needs me to help him with his business.

We found this cure and were so excited about it. He was home a couple of weeks ago for about 10 days it was the best 10 days we have had in a long time. We started the naltrexone and laid down the ground rules. Then he left and we didn't tell our son for support and for fear he would be upset. That was a mistake because I started to drink an then told him abuot the program. He was very skeptical, my husband didn't back me up and he hid the naltrexone.

Now my husband wants a divorce, the house, all of it untless I stay abstinenct the rest of my life. I tried explaining that after 6 years in aa and countess rehabs, there is an 85+ percent chance of relapse. He says thousands stay sober per day. I want a cure, I don't want to fight alcoholism the rest of my life, but above all, don't want to lose my husband and famiy. Can someone chime in with some help? He won't read the book and won't really listen. He wants me, but only sober. He doesn't understand that my behavior will also change as I recover in the coming months, the attitudes and the obnoxious behavior, the unreliability.

Help, please.

Maybe if he reads the book and gets more information his mind will change? It's worth a try.

Someone please reply...in world of confusion and hurt here. Have to save myself for my kids and marriage.

I have one copy here. I sent two to CA one for my husband and one for his bff who seemed interested in helping us.
He won't read it because I screwed up after two days.

ideas?

You sound like you are stuck in a uncomfortable relationship that is entirely predictable in "action and reaction." Consider shaking things up: Tell him you want a legal separation of 9 months so you can do TSM the way its supposed to be done and you can finally have a chance to break the strangle-hold alcohol has on you. RIght now he sounds like he's threatening you with the most menacing thing--- alienation of affection, divorce. Consider not struggling so hard against this pressure and exert some of your own. You could let him know you are serious about doing TSM as prescribed and that it's your second to last hope (you can always go back to rehab). You will do it either with his full support or without it! As much as I am loath to give advice (I hardly know ye), consider what I write a view from outside the box of your oppressive reality. It would appear that the more you accept the threat as a threat the more you will be locked in to the pacifying dance. (Don't do TSM to save the marriage, do it to save yourself).

Here are a few suggestions...

1. Ask him to read this site. The book's sensational title ("...Cure...") is a turn-off to some. This site has real world proof that TSM does work. No one here is selling anything. You get the straight-scoop here - warts and all
2. Ask him to read a little about Naltrexone. Google Naltrexone or read WikiPedia and he'll quickly see that Nal is a powerful drug, and not some herb a homeopath would suggest (not that there's anything wrong with that).
   
   Quote:
   Naltrexone is an opioid receptor antagonist used primarily in the management of alcohol dependence and opioid dependence.
3. Tell him you'll continue to go to AA, and go. Why not?

I'd would not recommend going to see a substance abuse counselor together. I see one and it's good for me (and might be good for you, alone). But mine literally laughed out loud at TSM. Then when I showed him the first two weeks of data, he stopped laughing (watching him squirm was a hoot!), but then insisted that while this might work for me, it wouldn't work broadly speaking. I think he's full of ****, but in short, a substance abuse counselor may not, in fact, help your husband to accept TSM.

Last, my own personal opinion is that we alcoholics are very much on our own. That we have found TSM is fortunate, because very few people seem to know about it, and very few doctors seem willing to support it. My feeling is that you may not be able to convince your husband (or anyone else) that TSM works. But if you do it, and stick to it, when it works for you, they will notice, and eventually come to accept it because it does, in fact, work.

Also know that even if no one you know will support you, you will have this board which is full of people just like you who will support you. Pretty much all of us have had to try to convince someone that TSM was worth a shot.

Good luck.
-TK

Cureseeker, what a terrible place to be in. It sounds like your husband is being very unfair and inflexible. I think digetic's idea is a good one (as scary as it might seem). Why not suggest a break for you to go at it alone on TSM, so that he doesn't need to get the blow-by-blow and constantly being nagging you about progress or lack thereof? You need to do this for yourself, first and foremost, then your family. But screw-ups are going to happen, and your husband is an alien if he thinks getting and staying sober is easy for alcoholics to do - the norm is relapsing and continual problems. This is your shot at getting in control. How badly do you want it? And how badly does HE want it?
I also think the other advice is really good - why not combine nal with AA or therapy, just to placate your husband ? (who knows, you might get something out of it too!)
If your husband is unwilling to read the book/site and unwilling to listen, however, you need to start asking yourself some serious questions about his motivations, I think.

Here is a link to a post that I think your husband should read. It is very well written by one our members and it hits the nail on the head! Hope it helps. I feel for you. My husband has been so supportive, I almost feel guilty about it. Best of luck to you!
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=360

Hi cureseeker, when I first had to convince those around me that this was a legitimate method of addressing my alcohol problem I found the letter "from a more subjective alcoholic's POV" in Concerned Spouses (at the top of the board index) quite helpful because it neatly summarised the gist of the program in 1.5 pages. The article that appeared in New York times would also be helpful (unfortunately I don't have a link). I agree with others that your husband's attitude is completely unrealistic. I can certainly vouch for TSM in terms of improving family relationships and mending trust- I was at a similiar place to you in September last year. Since then I have stuck to TSM and my relationship with my partner and children has improved a lot. I sincerely wish you the best of luck and remember that you are not alone, this board is testimony to that.