Well, I picked up my prescription of Naltrexone at my local pharmacy on Friday. As I look at these little peach color pills I feel a whirlwind of emotions; excitement, hope, trepidation, and fear all rolled up into a neat ball in the pit of my stomach. Will this be the victory that I've been fighting so long for, or will it be just another in a string of defeats in my battle with alcohol? Only time, patience, and perseverance will tell...

I look forward to posting my updates and sharing my experiences and struggles here in the coming months. I've gotten a lot already by reading the posts so many of you took the time to write about your respective experiences. Thank you for this board.

I'd like to share one of my favorite poems. I think it's apropos of the endeavor we are engaged upon.

Chance

----
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

Friday

I take a Naltrexone and head over to the gym for my Friday night workout. I love going to the gym on Friday night, it's a totally different atmosphere. Added bonus is that you meet people that don't go to bars on Friday night.

After the gym I meet up with the crew. They've already been drinking for 3+ hours through happy hour. They order me a vodka soda and it arrives a few minutes later. Moment of truth, I take a sip and then another sip. I wait. And wait. Something is different. I ask the waitress if there's vodka in the drink and she looks at me strangely and replies,"yes," and walks away. Usually when I have that first drink there's that feeling of euphoria but today there is none. In fact, I don't like taste of the drink. I switch to beer but the same thing. Something just isn't right.

I start drinking at 9pm and have my last drink at 2am. Total number of drinks: 1 vodka soda, 2 1/2 beers. Way less than I would normally drink on a Friday night. I'm excited. Looks like the Nal is working.

Saturday (Halloween)

Take another Nal and head out to a Halloween party. My friends and I pound down a few beers. I don't like the taste. After about 5 beers I feel like I'm getting buzzed but I'm not enjoying the experience. Then I do something, that for me is inexplicable, I stop drinking for the rest of the night. I haven't been able to exercise that kind of control in....well I can't remember it's been that long. I try not to get too excited as this is probably the honeymoon phase everyone talks about. But I can't help being excited because it's working!

Sunday

I feel a little hungover which is highly unusual since I only had 5 beers the night before. I go to the gym and run on the treadmill. I feel nauseous and almost vomit. I can barely squeeze out 2 miles before I have to stop. Two things I notice right away. One, I'm not hungover in the traditional sense, I'm just nauseous. Is it because of the Naltrexone? And two, I definitely don't feel that runner's high I normally experience after about a mile on the treadmill. Is it the Nal blocking my natural endorphins? How low does Nal last in the body I wonder?

Initial Thoughts

Overall, I'm really amazed at the results. Not too happy with the nausea but I'm hoping it's temporary. It's been a long time since I could stop drinking after a few drinks. I was the classic, "One's too many but a hundred's never enough," drinker. I know it's early and TSM takes months to experience true extinction, but I'm beginning to think that there just maybe light at the end of the tunnel.

-Chance

Welcome,

From what I understand it will stay in your system about 12 hrs. I would definitely NOT take it before working out like you did the first night. You only need an hour before drinking. Even if you hit the bar 10 minutes after working out, you could always have a couple club soda first to rehydrate.

Everything else you mentioned is just like my experience and many others here. It wont always be the same way every time you drink, but as we keep hearing, you are probably going to be a "good responder" to Nal.

Good Luck
PacMan

PS
I always keep a couple tabs in my wallet for emergency. I feel uncomfortable without having it handy. It works too well!

"Will this be the victory that I've been fighting so long for, or will it be just another in a string of defeats in my battle with alcohol?"

Hi Chance - great to hear your progress has been so marked! It really helps to see some changes early on.

Regarding your quote above: what's different this time, of course, is that you and your will power have to get out of the way and let Dr. Sinclair's wonderful method work!!!!

When I first started this process last year I didn't stop drinking at all. In fact even though I did not have a good feeling about drinking 'with permission' on Nal, the booze tasted awfull, and the hangovers were bad on only 2-3 drinks, and I had NO will power, I just kept on.

And then my cure snuck up on me! Now I can use just a tiny little bit of 'will power' to say nah! to a drink if I don't really want one but that ole habit nags me.

Keep posting your ups and downs - we all love to hear stories from others who are going through this. And remember you are not alone - we ALL know exactly how you feel!!

Welcome Chance! I too had a pretty dramatic and instant response to NAL. It's great. I think the book recommends exercising without NAL in your system so you get an extra boost from your body experiencing the natural endorphins released by exercise (if I recall correctly NAL will block it otherwise, the way it does with alcohol). I've also had bouts of severe nausea here and there the day after, usually related to consuming too much (even if the amount I drank was way less than I used to drink pre-TSM and feel fine) It's so nice to finally feel hope, isn't it?

most of us started out on 25mg for a while and then moved up to 50. nausea is a normal side effect when you're just starting Nal. It goes away for most in a week or so.

Awesome, Chance!

You seem to be responding extremely well. I don't want to jinx it or anything and I am not sure generalizations like this are 100% warranted at this point but it seems to me that people with that kind of immediate response have highest chances of succeeding on TSM. My situation is in many ways similar to yours and I while I am not claiming to be cured, I certainly am able to have control over my drinking. Here are the graphs from few weeks ago:

viewtopic.php?f=9&t=1966&p=23032&sid=b798d832e415986762bcea249809b6aa#p23032

Hi Chance, I too just started last week. I too am a gym rat. The book says that if you eventually take a weekend off the nal that by the third day your natural endorphins should kick in when doing things you enjoy. I took a Nal right before a mud run and I still had a great time because the nal didn't kick in until immediately following the event. I was able to drink the beer at the finish line, a vodka tonic at the celebration dinner and didn't even like the wine later in the evening. I'm hoping this works for us. The nauseousness can be a little unnerving, but so far it's worth being able to say no to the nightly wine habit. Best of Luck & Keep Posting. Mackie

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and genuine concern. I know that TSM does not require "therapy," as such but I personally think that one of the most important parts of recovery is emotional support and fellowship. I think that's the biggest reason why AA is so successful and not necessarily because of its 12 steps.

I look forward to sharing my experiences here on the board and offer support wherever I can.

Chance

Hi Chance, glad to hear all is well with you. I was a bit puzzled with your comment that support is one of the reasons AA is 'so successful' when they are NOT successful in 95% of cases. It is my personal belief that going to meetings and talking about drinking for a couple of hours week after week would put me in the loonie bin - not on the path to working out my addiction. Give me naltrexone anyday.

I think it is very important that we realize here that Dr. Sinclair has reported that therapy and support are NOT necessary for pharmaclogical extinction to occur. In my case I had NO support and it worked fine.

YES - it is great to find support for problems related to our addiction - bad habits, reaching for booze to quell anxiety etc. but the Method works!!!

I say this because I don't want anyone out there to fear that TSM won't work for them if they don't have support and therapy - it may help but it's not the Method.