Counting 1 glass of wine = 1.5 units; 1 bottle of wine = 6 unitsPre-Sinclair
Units of alcohol: >35
Average Cravings: 9-10 Start Date: March 06, 2009Week 1: Getting used to the medication. Slight nausea and disorientation most nights. Lethargic in the afternoons. Slight sleep disruptions at first that disappeared by the end of the week. Taking the pill after a meal seems to help and NOT taking any sleep aids has helped me. Also watching caffeine intake and naps in the afternoon helped level out my sleeping patterns at night.
Drinking decreased this week and the desire to drink decreased dramatically. I would say it started at a craving level of 2 for the week and moved up to a 3 or 4 by end of week, but overall was a 3 on average, which was wonderful. I have not gone out socially but I will try this weekend.
Units of alcohol: 18
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 2The affects of the NAL are definitely wearing off - both good and bad affects. No nausea or disorientation this week. No sleep disturbances. Still tired after taking the pill and while my cravings have increased prior to drinking and I find myself thinking again about how much wine I have in the house, I still stop after 2 glasses of wine because I am so tired.
Units are stable this week because I ran out of wine and took last night off. Actual units per night were up slightly.
Units of alcohol: 18
Average Cravings: 5
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WEEK 3Only very slight traces of side affects this week. Little trouble reading at night after I take the pill (focus is off), and still a little tired mid-day, but overall I can take the pill and not notice any differences.
Units are down this week and cravings were significantly down by end of week (started at 6 or 7 and reduced to 3). I had 1 AF day by choice and the last two nights I've stopped after one glass of wine (1.5 units) because I just didn't feel like having any more.
Units of alcohol: 16
Average Cravings: 4
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WEEK 4 ending 4/2/2009
This week I had 2 glasses of wine each night and 1 AF night. Wait - I forgot, I actually had 2 AF nights - I was planning to drink last night and just sort of forgot about it.
Very little side affects from the Nal this week... Still a bit tired but not bad.
Units of alcohol: 17
Average Cravings: 6
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WEEK 5 ending 4/9/2009
2 days of AF because I just really didn't feel like it...not planned. Low drinking / craving other than that.
Progress is steady but slow.
Units of alcohol: 15
Average Cravings: 4
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WEEK 6 ending 4/16/2009
On vacation - drank more than a normal week simply because we started around 5ish each night. Never got drunk. No hangovers. Drank less than on previous vacations.
Units of alcohol: 30+
Average Cravings: 4
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WEEK 7 ending 4/24/2009
Cravings were a little different this week, maybe up a bit? The most I had this week was 3 7oz glasses of wine.
Units of alcohol: 22
Average Cravings: 5
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WEEK 8 ending 4/30/2009
Party over the weekend was fine - I drank less than I normally would but still more than I had hoped to. Last two weeks consumption has definitely gone up to pre-sinclair levels. There were many nights when I either did not stop at 2 drinks or had a hard time doing it - the wine is tasting very good these days.
Cravings are still much lower than pre-sinclair.
Units of alcohol: 29 (egads not this number again...)
Average Cravings: 5
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WEEK 9 ending 5/7/2009
Interesting week. Very high units at the beginning of the week and I was so sick of being hungover. Finally went AF on Wednesday without thought. Continued AF for 2 more nights.
Units of alcohol: 24
Average Cravings: 5
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WEEK 10 ending 5/14/2009
Units way down, Craving way down. Some highlights:
- 1 1/2 glasses with dinner, opened another bottle for later, then corked the bottle without drinking anything.
- 2 nights af by choice...just didn't feel like it
- 2 nights where I had 1 full glass and 1 glass that was only 2-3 ounces.
Units of alcohol: 11
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 11 ending 5/21/2009
Units up slightly this week.
Units of alcohol: 24
Average Cravings: 5
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WEEK 12 ending 5/28/2009
Units up again week. Couple of 6 unit nights - crazy old habits creeping back in...lots of hangovers. Depressed about it but not giving up.
Seems like if I have one night where I drink more (over memorial day weekend for example) it continues for a few days and throws off my weekly units...by the end of the week I was back to 1 glass one night and 2 glasses the last 2 nights, so I still think that's better than I used to be - never was able to do onesie / twosies before.
Units of alcohol: 30
Average Cravings: 4
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WEEK 13 ending 6/4/2009
Ended up being a good week but I didn't realize it until tonight....thought I was still up but I had 2 af days and every other night was either a onesie or a twosie...
Trying not to post too much personal stuff here anymore, but it's hard not too...I feel like I spent a lot of time this week posting about being stalled with progress and agreeing I was depressed about it (which I was)...and then I looked up tonight and was shocked to see I actually had a good week. Snuck up on me!
Tonight I was going to drink and I just made a decision not to. I finally 'tried'. I came home from work and my little daughter had made me sweet potatoes and a fruit 'cocktail' and I just thought, 'now why the hell can't I just put a little effort into this when this sweet little thing just spent an hour making me sweet potatoes'. Anyway - I tried for once and you know what? It was easy. I feel fine right now...going to go read my guilty pleasure book and go to sleep in a bit. I don't miss my wine at all...it's very odd. I feel anxious about not taking my Nal medicine like I'm missing a chance for extinction, but other than that I don't feel like any wine. Hallelujah (sp?). I know I'm still in yo-yo land but I am encouraged...everyone else should be too. It will happen for us, I'm really psyched right now
Units of alcohol: 18
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 14 ending 6/11/2009
Good week. Went to an outdoor festival and had 7 units which I'm not too happy about...would have been a really low week without that spike in units.
Felt very good this week physically. It's good to get the al out of my system. Couple AF days, couple of onesies. One night tossed out my second glass which was nice (almost did so last night but it was a slightly better bottle of wine so I decided to finish it).
Went to a therapist for the 2nd time...apparently I have a social anxiety disorder. Do they have a name for everything? I thought I was just shy...or a hermit as my husband calls me. So, this is good...I will be forcing myself to go out more which is where I need to concentrate on extinguishing at this point. I take a GABA supplement now which helps me tremendously. I will likely take more of that prior to going out but I don't see myself going the meds route.
I'm happy with my progress but feel I still have farther to go. Still can't go AF all week or have total control at social outings. I definitely see I have
more control when out socially and I'm still down 30-50% when out, but it's still not where I want it to be. Very happy to have found the method and this forum. I am excited about crawling toward my cure.
Units of alcohol: 19
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 15 ending 6/19/2009
Nothing too exciting to report...mainly 2 glasses each night, slightly higher than I wanted. A few AFs.
You know, I'm finding it harder and harder to feel like I'm a part of this board...I am having some issues I'm trying to deal with, and daily I tell myself it will help steel myself and help me grow if I force myself to 'talk' here, but I am not getting the support back that I need. For whatever reasons, I'm just not bonding here and I feel trivialized for having starting levels that are lower than someone wishes their levels were now. I feel no sense of 'woo hoo' when something happens that's an incredible mark of progress in my journey...I feel I need to keep it quiet because others express jealousy.
Right now, this board is for support for people that are really struggling (or for fun flirtation - which is fine for some, but it's entirely distracting for me, not sure why...other than I've been through all of that stuff and have had my fill.) Anyway, at this point in time, the board is not a good thing for me. Someday after the strugglers are having success and can actually fully support everyone else, it will be a great place for all, no matter where you are on the spectrum of addiction.
I was hoping to help others that are like me by journaling my experiences here, but I don't think my reports are the ones that will make a difference right now. Maybe in time there will be a bunch of moms whose nightly wine has gotten out of control on here, but right now, my posts aren't helping anyone else and it feels silly to be here.
Best of luck to you all and thank you to those of you who have been encouraging. There is no better feeling than someone responding to your posts in a positive manner.
Units of alcohol: 20
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 16 ending 6/25/2009
Thank you to everyone for the encouraging posts - sorry for the emotional Week 15 post...I'll leave it there as is so others understand - we ALL HAVE OUR MOMENTS in this process
Great week. I'm so encouraged - I had 3 AFs...with no effort, no thought. Was headed for a 4th and we had a huge power outage in the neighborhood and I decided to read by flashlight with a glass of wine...
2 social occassions this week that went great. I had a big family party last night and waited well into the party before starting to drink. Had 1 beer, then 1 glass of wine until the majority of guests left...then had another while talking with my mom-in-law (extinguishing THAT trigger) and then one more after hubby and I settled down to recap the night. These occassions are typically my bingers - so I am very encourage that this happened with no effort or thought. That is the theme for this week: no effort, no thought.
You will all be at this point soon - take heart. It's so wonderful and I am greatful to the Drs and this board for helping my life get back on track. I'm not done yet, but so very close I am smiling with relief.
Cheers to you all this week.
Units of alcohol: 15
Average Cravings: 3
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WEEK 17 ending 7/2/2009
I'm really noticing a change in the way I think about alcohol. I don't view it as a treat anymore. It's amazing. Last night was my 3rd AF day and I thought maybe I should have some wine as a treat to start the long weekend. Right behind that thought was one that overpowered the treat factor - I thought, 'Eh. I really don't feel like any and I am really enjoying sleeping through the night and waking up without a hangover. I really want to do that again tonight, maybe I'll drink tomorrow.' So I just went to bed and caught up on some sleep. Boring for now, but my body needs it.
This week also had a big family party at the beginning so I had occassions to drink.
Will be going away for the 4th of July and for once I don't fear the trip. Previous years I have gotten extremely drunk on this trip and spent most of the daytime hungover, sneaking beers while the kids were on the lake or waiting for the early happy hour to start. I'm hopeful for once that I will just go and enjoy family & friends with no focus on the alcohol. I feel pretty good right now and again, hopeful.
July 6th is my four month anniversary. I really didn't think I'd be at this point by 4 months but so thankful it's working.
Happy 4th to all!
Units of alcohol: 13
Average Cravings: 2
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WEEK 18 ending 7/9/2009
Well. 4th of July weekend was interesting - I think I still did better than pre-sinclair, but it was the first time I really overdrank since I started - the first time I did not remember the rest of the evening (well, I remember going out on the deck with a glass of wine. I remember getting another glass, and I remember taking myself off to bed because I knew I was drunk. I do not remember what I said for the last 1/2 hour...so, not a total blackout, just not good.). The following day I was not too hungover, but we had bloody marys right away..and then more starting around dusk. I wasn't drunk the next two nights, just drinking more than usual.
Numbers are very high this week because of the weekend. I was shocked by how easy it was to fall back into old patterns when I was in a situation I hadn't extinguished. I will be better prepared next time mentally. One thing I should mention that is not reflected in my pre-Sinclair units...normally after a weekend like this I would over drink the rest of the week to try to get over the hangover. So, normally my numbers would be in the 40-50 unit range, so there is still some improvement this week. I went back to normal as soon as I got home. No drink sneaking or anything like that.
All in all, I'm at the point where I'm kind of thinking of not counting everything so much anymore. I am going to try to go AF during the week and just drink on the weekends in a controlled manner. I don't have huge cravings anymore and other than last weekend, I do feel I am in control.
I will keep checking back in to post progress here, but may not be every week. There are so many new members now and my story is likely played out for the most part at this point. It's really nice to see how much the site has grown, especially with all of the baclofen stuff going on at MWO. I really am glad I found Nal before all of that started. I feel much better with this method and I know I will not have to take a pill everyday to keep my cravings away. That is so key for me. I don't begrudge anyone doing balc or thinking about it, I'm just saying, I'm so thankful I found Nal first otherwise I know I would have just done the Baclofen because of the good results posted. And that would have been that. How much nicer to have found a way to get rid of the nasty cravings altogether.
Take care everyone!
Units of alcohol: 35? I don't really know.
Average Cravings: 4 (I didn't really have an increase in cravings, I just didn't think to say no at any point).
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WEEKS 19-22 ending 8/6/2009
Really feeling great. I think I've finally kicked this as I have zero thoughts of alcohol these days...and many, many examples of change.
Life is good. Still get stressed. Still working on anxiety and boughts of depression during PMS time, but it's really getting much, much better and manageable.
Drinking has only been a glass or two on the weekends only. AF during the week. Even when I went back to the lake house that I was at over the 4th of July (and ended up blacking out briefly) it was no problem - I was mentally prepared for it.
I've been reading a lot lately and finding new things to help me. I mentioned in my Before & After post below that I started taking SAM-e. It's really helping me (it's not for everyone, especially if your manic-depressive but it is also suppose to help with Liver repair so ideal for those of us that can take it). Am also continuing to take GABA and small amount of Rhodiola Rosea...all are helping. Tryptophan at night for sleep but I feel less and less like I need it. Sleep is great. LOVE to sleep now
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I'm going to be starting Yoga soon as well - I've read the breathing techniques are extremely helpful for anxiety and the rest is good for body & soul. For some reason, learning a new way to breath feels like an area that I am just not going to do well in (I've no patience - thus the need for it, right?) but I'll give it a go. My Kids have been practicing poses with me just out of a library book - they are so darn flexible it makes me laugh. I...am...not.
I also volunteered to coach my son's soccer team which will be a hoot. Since I don't know how to play soccer. I'm nervous about it but have 3 books from the library and my husband and oldest daughter are lined up to help. How bad can 5 year old boys be to their coach? Oh brother what did I do?
And I am really, really leaving my job on Sept. 13th. I have my severance papers in hand...just coming off of a 50-60 hour week of nonsense with no let up in site, so I'm ready to get a break. Not working is going to be extremely strange but the best type of challenge yet. I know I will be in for a big surpise being home with the kids full time, but it's time.
Is this really me? I have stopped drinking for brief periods before but this is different. This really feels like the start of a new life. I am so full of excitement and confidence - feels like it's been bottled up for years and is ready to spill over now. And remember, anyone that is reading this, there is nothing special about what I did. I just took a chance, took my Nal and here I am. You can be here too. Alcohol steals so much from us - for years I thought I was just a horrible person, but now I know I was just a person with a horrible addiction that affected everything in my life. I'm not horrible! Makes me so mad now that there is such a stigma about a physical addiction. That's just nonsense to think something is wrong with you because you have an addiction - but I bought into it 100%.
Going away on vacation for a week, hopefully I will continue to do well.
Best of luck & welcome to all the newbies that are joining this week and to any lurkers that are reading this & thinking about whether Nal is right for them, will it work?: Come on in, try it, it works.
I look forward to reading some new successes when I get back. We seem to be getting there slowly but surely!
Units of alcohol: 10.5, 12, 13.5, 6
Average Cravings: 2, 2, 2, 0 (no thoughts at all this week...even when a good bottle of wine was given to me as a present)
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