Hi.

This is my first week on Nal. I am in day 3. I've been posting a bit over at MWO, too. Seems that many folks post both here and there. I've read the book and am so ready to get into this! I am doing it without a doctor's supervision as I do not want to mess with my insurance, etc. I have a conveniently scheduled yearly physical with bloodwork at my usual doctor this week so should get a red flag if anything's amiss. I don't think it is (other than that I'm slowly killing myself, of course).

I am 38. I've been drinking heavily for 20 years with fewer and fewer AF days. Alcoholism runs in both sides of my family, plus I'm a real good learner. Never really been a moderate drinker.... If I'm going to have a glass of wine, I'm going to have at least a bottle and a half.

I share the experiences of many here with monster cravings, obsession, sneaking, shame, guilt, and a life made smaller and dimmer by alcohol. I've been to AA. Not for me. My feeling always has been that this monkey's a chemical one for me (though I do think I'll be doing some talk therapy as I learn to fill the time and space alcohol has taken up in my life with other things). I just happened to click on a link somewhere and ended up learning about TSM. This is the first hope I've had in years.... My plan before this was pretty much to tough it out, cover it up, and keep on going. It's sadly indicative of our culture that there is a medical solution for a medical problem easily and relatively cheaply available... and instead of embracing it and shouting its name from the rooftops, we continue to allow good people to drown in their booze or ride the roller coaster of craving and abstinence. (Though I would never criticize someone for whom straight abstinence works -- I just don't have the stones.)

My usual drinking pattern is from 8 or 9 pm to 1 or 2 am. I'm primarily a red wine drinker but will drink just about anything to get my fix. I have a circular problem with insomnia, Temazepam, and alcohol.... There are several nights a week I don't drink, but I've come to be unable to sleep on those nights without benzos. I'm going to try to taper down as my body gets less dependent upon alcohol, and I doubt that will be very pretty. I'd appreciate any shared experiences re: insomnia. I've ordered trazodone as a possible replacement; I haven't tried it yet.

Day 1: 25 mg one hour before drinking. HUGE POSITIVE: I had four glasses of wine (three out, one at home which I didn't even finish) over about four hours and went to bed. Got a good night's sleep and woke up uncharacteristically early the next morning, feeling great. Felt anxious on the Nal before drinking and a nice buzz from the wine. Just didn't need to drink every drop of it in the county.

Day 2: 25 mg one hour before drinking. Very small dinner. Got very nauseated. Choked down 2 1/2 glasses over 2 1/2 hours. Threw up. Got bad four hours' sleep after taking a sleeping pill. Felt depressed the next morning. Decided to stay at 25 mg for next time.

Day 3: 25 mg one hour before drinking. Ate a good-size carb-rich dinner with the half-pill and felt almost no nausea. Had 4 glasses of wine over 3 1/2 hours with my BIGGEST TRIGGER drinker girlfriends at a small get-together (normally, this would be an 8-glass function for me with more to come once home). Came home and had 2 more. I remember saying to my husband, "I'm afraid I'm just going to want to keep drinking tonight" and worrying that there wasn't enough wine in the house. Then I forgot about the wine, got tired, and went to bed. Woke up today feeling good. Going to go to 50 mg tonight if I drink. I am afraid to go AF because of the sleep thing....

So that's my experience so far. Anyone is welcome to jump in! I feel very positive about this and think it is going to work for me. I know it's probably going to be a strange trip with months of doubt, spiking, and back-tracking, and your stories have helped me a great deal already with my fear. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing your journeys here. You are strangers who quite possibly have helped save my life.

Not sure how to calculate units, even after reading the book and many posts here. I think in international measures:

Until now: 60-70 units/week
So far this week: about 12 units?

Welcome. Great post.

Side effects will go away soon and in the meantime, you've got the right idea -- take the nal with food. The immediate decrease in consumption is the "honeymoon period" and will not last. Your drinking will probably go back up to pre-TSM levels -- maybe even higher, before you are done. But the "honeymoon period" is a very positive sign that you are in the 80% this works for.

Congrats and ask away any questions you have. BTW, screw the 3 to 4 month cure period in the book -- doesn't happen for most of us. But focus on your improvement: more control and reduced cravings. TSM does work for most who try it.

Good luck.

Nick

Thanks, MN.

Definitely convinced that TSM is NOT going to be a cakewalk. It seems like the hardest thing for most of the people here is remembering the big picture through the spikes and plateaus. I can tell already that it's going to be a real mind f***, wondering when the magic's gonna happen, zooming in and out mentally to figure the trends in days/weeks/months, looking at other chemicals in my body and how everything's connected, struggling through the usual AL fog when there are bad times and convincing myself that it's part of the process.

AF yesterday, feeling good today and planning for AF today as well since I have blood work with my primary doctor early tomorrow morning (she's not aware of my doing TSM -- It's a routine physical). Starting to taper off my sleeping pills by substituting/combining with Unisom, hope to be free of meds other than NAL entirely in 1-2 weeks. My understanding is that the main ingredient in Unisom is less prone to hindering TSM than the benzo. Actually got decent sleep last night on less than 1/2 my usual benzo dose plus normal dose of the Unisom. I think that's really good news and probably has to do with my lower AL consumption this week (thus less tolerance for sleep meds). Not asking for medical advice, just sharing.

Thanks again!

You obviously have done your homework and have a great read on TSM and what you are in for -- you hit the nail on the head.

It's part of the human condition to want to be "fixed" and to want to be fixed yesterday. However, focus on your improvement, including lower cravings and consumption and increased control. Do not focus on how many weeks you've been on the method as you will probably get frustrated that you are not "cured" in three or four months. It takes a bit longer for most of us, especially those with habits of 20 years plus.
But it does work for the majority of us.

Good luck.

Seeking, you sound great. Watching with interest.

-Ned

Hi S1. I too have problems with sleeping. For years I took diphenhydramine, but after a while built up a resistance so it no longer works for me very well. There are two types of Unisom: dyphenhydramine and some other compound. The other Unisom worked well for me for only a few days until resistance set in. About a year ago I managed to get a script for generic Ambien. You have to be very careful with this: if you drink to much and take Ambien, you will have the hangover from hell. Furthermore, you can get into a sleepwalk mode where you are in an honest to God zombie state. Very scary. Ambien actually helped me moderate my drinking; the consequences of error were just too severe.

Word on the street is that Tiger was in an Ambien sleepwalk when he crashed his SUV.

-wort

Good luck, seeking1 - sounds like you are well on your way. Keep posting as we love to hear the sucess stories, of which they are mostly the ones going on here. As for Tiger...I just dunno and doubt very seriously NAL will help him. However, I HOPE I am wrong!!!

NAL seems to work - good luck!

Welcome seeking1, like the name very fitting for this board. Good luck with TSM, keep posting on your progress and all I can say is sometimes LIFE itself can be one big TRIGGER! Nal will help with that on figuring exactly what they are and dealing with it.


good luck
corkit

Hi, all! Thanks for the welcomes and advice. I really appreciate you!

I am not sure how to calculate units, even after reading the book and many posts about calculating.

What I AM sure of is that I will get my life back.

Normal week, pre-TSM: 50 glasses of wine, sometimes AF days, sometimes none

First week on TSM: 20 glasses of wine, 2 AF days

I am feeling self-respect and hope. Lots of anxiety and sleeplessness, but these are to be expected as I rein in my years of self-medicating. I think that in a few weeks I will be sleeping normally as I break my reliance on benzos and booze. I'm sleeping now after 3 or 4 glasses of wine, which I wouldn't have thought possible a week ago. I hope that I will come to sleep naturally on AF days once my body stops relying on one outside chemical or another.

Guessing I'm going to spike this week as my body tries to get its endorphin high (last night was my biggest consumption so far on TSM but still would've been a slow night for me in the past). But I'm ready for it to be good, too! I'll keep you posted....

Week 2: 30 units, 4 AF days. So, up from last week (20 units) but still below usual (60+ units). More AF days but more Al consumed on drinking days than last week (8, 10, and 12 units). Possibly at the start of a spike. We'll see....

I find that my affect is a bit flatter on most days -- Maybe a slight, general lessening of endorphins? Or maybe not so many mood swings.

I find that when I drink (as many here have noted for themselves), I have way more "drunk" feeling and way less "up" feeling and that I have WAY more clarity throughout the drinking experience. Still enjoyable (not having the "I can't get tipsy" feeling some report).

Not getting terrible hangovers (that is, any MORE terrible than they were before).

Still feeling like this is working, and that gives me a sense of serenity I haven't had in years. Even on drinking nights, I feel somehow that I have more control. Less stumbling and fumbling, less eager for the next drink.

I'm usually a red wine drinker. I'm finding that Nal is curbing my desire for red but not so much for white wine. Also tried vodka this past week -- Again, not as hard to gag down as red. Interesting.... I'm just going to continue doing what I do + Nal one hour before, not analyze it too much....

As planned and with surprising ease, my benzo use has declined significantly (titrating off of Temazepam for sleep as Dr. Eskapa notes that benzos may block TSM progress). At my worst, I was sleeping on non-Al days with 60 mg Temazepam. I am now on 7.5 mg plus a couple of OTC Unisoms. I'm hoping to be done with the benzos in the next week. After that, hope to dump the Unisom. As I noted before, I think all of this will be aided by a lessening dependency on booze for sleep -- non-Al days hopefully will no longer be "Oh crap, insomnia" days.

Hope, self-esteem, control -- What a thing to have at least a semblance of them back! Oh -- And I'm freakin' GETTING UP IN THE MORNING. I don't think I've gotten so much done in a week since... I don't know. It's great!