Hi everyone,

I´m in my 5th week with the Sinclair Method. I thought it´s time to post in the progress section. I´m 33 years old. I started my binges at 14. I´ve been addicted since 17. I lost just about everything by the time I was 19. I could never hold on to a job (although I´ve never been known for sloth and/or laziness) because of the anxiety, panic-disorders, depressions, etc. that resulted from my drinking. How I managed to keep a roof on top of my head.....I´ll never know. I went in and out of therapies until 2006. In that year I came to the same conclusion about alcoholism, as Dr.´s Sinclair and Eskapa did (without knowing the science, of course). After that I avoided "therapists" and "groupers" like the plague. I came to the conclusion that they make things worse with addicted people (with good intentions, no doubt)-by confusing the issue.
I started flirting with Rational Recovery. I liked their no-nonsense, forceful approach in taking control. But I knew they were wrong in saying it´s all about "selfish pleasure seeking, at the expense of others." I always thought to myself: Saying giving in to an addictive craving is nothing but pleasure, is like saying people really have a pleasurable "high" when they take off their tight shoes (after weeks of torture) . There are many things that I enjoy. E.g.: like a medium steak. Now, I haven´t eaten a steak in about 4 years, but not once did I think that I couldn´t manage my life without my medium steak. This analogy may seem silly, but I´m trying to make a simple point about this talk about feeling "high." For me, pleasure is a choice. Being relieved from torture (i.e. quitting a drug with will-power)is not. I´ll write more in the next few weeks.
Two positive things have to be noted:
1.) After struggling with the initial side-effects of nal and seeing no reduction in my drinking, my feeling of control has come back. I drink way slower. Except for the extra hangover with nal, I´m pretty content the day after drinking. I usually was ashamed and fearful because I couldn´t remember what I had done or said while drinking. Not anymore . Of course I´m not cured-yet.
2.) I had serious side-effects starting with nal (still have some, but minimal), but not once did it cross my mind to leave the nal out. No struggle at all. So much to the "selfish pleasure seeking"- baloney of (ir-)Rational Recovery .

Hi Fred, I'm glad to see you are finally seeing some hope. I've just recently started getting a grasp on things as well after about almost 9 weeks.

Reading your post reminded me about one of the things I find so great about TSM. We all think and react to things differently. We all have different triggers, motivators and ailments. It looks like you've found what I think is the key.

I can sit down right now, and make a list of guidelines based on my own personal experience for you. Some of these you might find helpful and some of them downright stupid. The ones you might actually use are those that you can custom tailor to your own habits and experiences to make work for you. If I force you to do the rest of them, well it's likely going to frustrate the hell out of you. In my opinion this is the problem with group therapy, AA and other guidance based programs. They try to force you into a way of thinking that has worked for someone else.

I do disagree with one thing you said, although only slightly. If drinking ever caused harm or grief to anyone else, and you continued to drink, you were being selfish. Whether it was a missed lunch date that caused disappointment, a failed romance or a soccer game - you were selfish by continuing to drink. That being said, you were not intentionally being selfish, just like we didn't intentionally become alcoholics.

As many people can attest to, kicking this addiction goes beyond blocking some receptors and into psychological influences of how you got here in the first place. If you can believe that you have habitually trained yourself into this state, and you can un-train yourself, then it shouldn't be a far cry to believe that you've also emotionally trained yourself in many ways. This includes not caring what people think, how to be happy and possibly even an overall sense of lethargy about life in general.

Many of us here have other factors to deal with as well such as anxiety and depression. Hell everyone in the entire world has one thing wrong with them in some way or another. The problem is that society has convoluted psychology with criminalist associations. Someone who has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder or schizophrenia may never hurt a fly, but the stigma associated with it is costly. In comes alcoholism. You’ve taught yourself how not to act like an alcoholic, while you were an alcoholic. Now that you are on your way to “normal” you have to learn a whole new way of life. You are also going to have to deal with some things you’ve never had to deal with before.

Keep these things to the forefront of your mind and slowly you’ll start to tackle them one at a time. One day I might be really stressed out after work. We all know what I did before, but now I have to make a decision on how I really want to deal with it. Maybe I should go for a walk, workout or go catch a movie with some friends. My life is changing, and I do have to exert effort on my part to change with it.

That’s why I don’t like “without willpower” on the cover of the cure book. I know that if I buy a 12 pack of beer, that I can sit down and drink a 12 pack of beer. There is nothing physically stopping me from picking it up and drinking it. I might not enjoy it like I used to, but I can sure do it. What I have now is the ability to make a choice to stop. When I’ve hit a certain limit on nal, I know that drinking more will do nothing. My mind tells me that I need at least x amount or I’m not done drinking, but my mind is dead wrong in this case. So I stop, I go to bed, I exhibit willpower without trying. The choice gets easier and easier every day. I’m sorry to say this, but you do have to practice self control even with TSM or you’ll never quit. The only alternative is to have Dr. Sinclair himself come and strap your arms down when it’s time to stop.

The great thing about it is, the choice is now far easier to stop when you’ve had enough. Sorry I’ve rambled on again, as always, this is just my opinion.

Alchotag,

I agree with you. I need to exhibit more discipline and self control. I think you nailed it when you said I can drink a 12 if I want. But we must come to a conclusion, to what end and why.

You've given me food for thought and its another thread we have called Habit Vs. Craving. And one member refers to it as Crabit. Which I love....Best, jim

Jim, and I guess that's why I'm trying to say in the simplest of terms. Naltrexone can help curb your cravings and lose interest in alcohol but it can't generate motivation or desire. There are things we have to change mentally ourselves.

Sorry I don't intend on hijacking posts with walls of text, I just feel like there is a lot to say.

I've never seen ANYONE get mad over a little hijacking here and there....Its all important and if it isn't or a drunken post, they usually get deleted the next day. I think I've had one or two of those ,...as Lena says,...look at the time stamp...if its in the evening and the post seems a tad askew ,.... well then go figure,...

I don't agree with the selfish aspect of alcoholism at all. I love my children, and my brother and sister, and my husband so much that I would give my life for them...yet I've been such a down and out drunk at times that they have been disgusted with me - to say I've been a disappointment in the past is a vast understatement! But I was never like that because I was selfish!!!!

I was using the wrong tool to solve problems. None of my family suffered even half of what I inflicted upon myself. Let's be kind to ourselves. We suffer so. Proper love for ourselves, and proper self care is part of what Sincliar offers. He can get us sober so we can start fixing all the other stuff which made booze seem like the right tool.

Good sharing and discussion tho.

Fred -- I have much more antipathy toward Rational Recovery that I do toward AA. And it's exactly for the reasons you mentioned. I too was lured by what seemed to be a common-sense approach, then felt an all-time low when I continued reading and got to the part about selfishness.

You "got" a more nuanced point by Eskapa in the book: Alcohol addicts do not drink for pleasure. Once we have a choice through TSM, we just naturally choose not to drink so much. This is what Eskapa means by "without willpower" as I understand it.

Keep coming around and let us know how you're doing.

Thanks for voicing your thoughts, alcotag. To clarify: I never tried to excuse myself to people I disappointed by saying I have a disease. I usually took the moral hits without complaining. Why? Because I knew I would have reacted much harder to disappointments, if I were the disappointed one.



Agreed. But I have no plans on doing that when my drinking is under control. I hate alcohol. I hate its taste. I hate what it does to our senses (under control or not). And I also hate the fact that our society spares the alcohol industry, while simultaneously treating heroin-addicts as criminals. For me, alcohol is a drug like any other, despite having such a strong foothold in our culture.
Thanks again for your reply.

Very true.

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