Pre Sincalir - 70+ cravings 10
Week One - 62 Cravings 5
Week Two - 66 Cravings 6

No need to drink in the morning/day since starting TSM. Only drank in the day 1 time, and consumed about 13 drinks that day, I was at a lakehouse all day and got drunk on vodka. But I don't feel like I want to drink in the day. I also notice other slight changes in thinking/behavior, in a better mood, over all, and able to function better, and be more present with my son. Only one blackout, and that was bc I foolishly drank vodka at someone's lakehouse, I usually drink wine. Only one bruise on my knee bc I was drunk, I used to wake up with bruises and injuries all the time, at least several times/week, but only one unexplained bruise from the lakehouse day. more on that day, I was trying to hide my consumption and I felt really awkward bc of certain circumstances, was using AL to relax me/open me up, but did two double vodkas around 6:00 (which I slammed bc I was hiding it and there was no more wine there until we got home) after having about 6 glasses of white wine between 2:00 and 6:00. don't remeber much after that, but apparently drank 3 more glasses of wine with dinner, which is spotty memory wise. The only 'bad' day was the one at the lakehouse, where I got drunker than I intended and don't remeber much after the vodka, but before tSM that would be par for the course, where over 2 weeks, only one incident like that. the vodka obviously goes down faster than the wine, so I contribute it to this, bc other days when drinking, (and that day up to the vodka) i would def sip my drinks (wine) rather than slam them and didn't feel an urgent craving to get to a certain level drunkeness ASAP as I certainly ALWAYS did before the nal. I contribute it to worrying about there not being enough alcohol AND hiding it, which is why I slammed it, but no reall urges like that otherwise. so one 'bad day, feeling better overall, feeling much more in control.

Kudos on getting thru week 2. I had a bad day yesterday (12 pints of beer). However, I feel really good today because I am not jumping out of my skin craving more. I didn't have to go out for "lunch" at 10:30 to get a beer. I am also pleased that I was able to stop at 12. A few weeks back I would have kept going until I passed out. It's only been 4+ weeks but I feel that I have found the solution. It is working. Keep up the good fight.

Naltrexone + Drinking = CURE.

Best Regards,
Tom

Pre: 46 – 80+ units
Wk/Units/Craving
1: ...44 .....10
2: .. 40......10 2 AF
3: ...40......9.. 3 AF
4: ...31......9...4 AF
5: ..in progress.

also, i have to point out that i feel a lot less shaky in the mornings, and more sure of myself, in general. BUT STILL NO APPETITE! curiously, even though I am working out normally (4/wk plus teach yoga one day) and hardly eating, I gained 2 lbs. Weird weird weird. I did get off of topamax on the weeks prior to starting TSM, but I didn't have significant weight loss from it, maybe only 5 lbs. Could that be the cause for the lbs? Also, on a side note, my hair finally stopped falling out bc of topa withdrawal, took about a month, i had so much hair in the drain everytime i would shower. i also am MUCH more clear headed being off of it. i will not go on topamax again, even if that's the reason for weight gain, it really zapped my personality and it didn't work. it just is odd bc i am HARDLY eating and excercising normally. weird.

thanks Tom. I know what you mean about the bender. Normally, I would have HAD to have drank more in the morning or early in the day just to ward off cravings/withdrawal effects, but on the nal, I do not. It is working, I feel different, for sure. Even though I haven't had any AF days, there were days I drank just cuz I took nal and want to speed up extinction. I sometimes 'made' myself drink over the past 2 weeks, but once i got to 3 or 4, felt like drinking as usual. Only day not was this past sunday, only 5, and I just didn't have any interest after. I am totally READY to quit//cut waaaay down. I can't wait for the day, as in Julia's story, where the 'habit' is broken, bc I def do not wanna drink sometimes now, but the habitual idea of drinking kicks in, afterall, "it's what I do," if that makes sense, and I make myself drink while telling myself, naltrexone + drinking = cure:) I know I will get there, so I won't let a 'slip' get me down. afterall, like I just typed, alcoholics drink, that's what we do, it's what I've become accustomed to. But on the nal, I know that the addiction will become so weak eventually, that even the habitual nature of the action of drinking won't be enough to make me drink.

month six. i am so bad at keeping up with my posts!!! i am NOT cured, to most people i would be now a 'problem drinker', like maybe someone who is on thier way to becoming an early stage alcoholic, BUT!!! i was starting to have symptoms of late stage alcoholism back around the beginning of last spring. still, SOMEHOW, i was 'functioning'. i mean, it was BAD> and i am only 33. i guess it may be bc i take care of myself in most other ways except for the fact that i pour toxic poisin into my system on a nightly babsis, hey, but at least not on a morning basis, as was starting to be. and i CAN voluntarily have AF days now, but my life is still pretty lonely and crappy (mostly aspects of it due to residual alcohol related probs that are finally starting to resolve themselves since i've been doing tsm), and i drink for the wrong reasons still, and often times still more than i'd like. still, when one is used to blackouts and losing bodily control and functions as part of everyday living, well, where i am at, tho not quite where i wanna be, is nothing short of miraculous. it's like instead of progressing forward into the brine, i am slowly, slowly, more and more, shaking out the bad stuff and turning fresh again. it's gonna take longer for me, i think, than most, because of the entrenchment, both physically and emotionally, AL had in my life and day to day interactions and affairs, but i'm gonna keep on keepin on now rather than be a suicide statistic, cuz that's where i was headed, it makes me so sad now, but it also chills me to the bone to know how far down that slippery slope i slid, and so grateful that tsm is pulling me (although to slowly for my instant gratification alcoholic brat) out of that foxhole. happy holidays everyone, to you and yours!