Reboot,

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling at home. Life is difficult with alcohol and life is difficult with knowing that you cannot turn to alcohol for comfort. But life is better without that comfort...a little harder in the beginning, but a lot better.

You will be fine. Just keep a clear head and stop to think before you do anything. Remember that this situation is temporary and this too shall pass.

My prayers are with you and your family,

Jaba

Thank you angels of TSM for the support! I cannot say what will happen next on the home front but I always know that on this site I will get the support I need to survive. So I thank you all for that. Doing pretty good so far this week. No AF days but tonight will be a 1 beer night. No longer feeling like I need to drink to survive the events at home since the two bottle of wine night. I attribute that to the progress I have made by taking NAL. In the past, if there was an event that disrupted my life I would head straight to the bottles until I was the disruption in my life! So I feel real good about the fact that I "only drank" two bottles over a 10 hour period of ruminating about tragedy and whether of not I could have done anything to prevent it.

Reboot,

That speak volumes! TSM is a slow and definitely a rollercoaster ride, but being able to maintain control in a tragic situation is remarkable (be proud, very proud)!

I would turn to 2+ bottles of wine with a pint of vodka chaser to deal with my stress of the day or tragic situation and that binge would go on until the turbulence would "quiet" down (actually the focus would turn on my drinking...if you call that quiet), so I totally get what you are saying.

I understand that things are difficult...too difficult to discuss, but it will pass, it is hard and worrisome, but it passes. Wounds will heal and time will help, but if it is that tragic counseling may be needed.

To explain, my daughter was date raped. I dealt with it in my usual way, but it was later, after the fact, that she got counseling. I kick myself to this very day that I was not "dealing" with that situation. She is fine now, but not without scars from my drunken stupidity. Please learn from my mistakes, and seek counseling if you are not already doing so. Even if it is a temporary situation, counseling will help in mending fences, get things out in the open, and give everyone closure.

My heart is with you, and I hope this calm down soon,

Jaba

Reboot - I agree with jaba and hope that things are getting better for you. And so good that the drinking has abated since your one night when you overdid it - I am surprised that you didn't have a Nal-Over though! Anyway - hopefully things are improving for you - you know we are all always here for you,

HUGS, Maggie xx

Reboot, I've said it before and will say it again... we're here for you. I hope that if your family events are truly tragic for you, that you find a way to express the fallout from it. Most likely through a therapist as Jaba recommended... I'm super proud of you for not just diving head first into a bottle and not emerging until even more damage is done. TSM is working for you... and you are providing encouragement to so many of us. (((Hugs))))

MinneMom

Well I am two weeks behind in my weekly posts so that should give you an idea on how I am doing. Had two higher than normal weeks. Not much good can be said for that. No excuses. Not the holidays. Not the family trouble. Not the house guests. Just plain started drinking to much rum and not following my new rules of not drinking until late afternoon/evening or drinking lots of water in between drinks. So my numbers went pretty high for the "new me". Not any where I used to be on a weekly basis but a couple of days I hit some high numbers because I started with the rum and cokes early and went late.

week 27: started out slow and was actually in pretty good shape until I had a few r/c with my wife before going out to dinner - which led to going to the bar - which led to way to many. And the next day I had a fishing trip so I woke up with the start of a NAL over and tried to beat it by starting with beer early I did take my pill an hour before but I had my first beer and hour and a second after. So the day by day numbers were 4,5,6,2,20,18 and 0 for a total of 55 and 1 AF day.

Week 28: House guests arrived for New Years on the 30th and I fell back into the old ways of early and often. But this week I drank beer with few exception of New Years day otherwise my numbers would have been a lot worse. 6,10,20,12,8,12 and 0 for a total of 68.

Disappointed but not devastated. I will be AF again today and will be trying to get back to drinking smarter and staying away from rum. I am not going to lie - it was easy to fall back into bad habits even without the rush or narcotic effect of the past. And I will try not to let it go for more than a few days before I check back in to this site so I can keep motivated.

Reboot,

We have all been there. I still won't buy any hard liquor because I know I cannot control myself (that and I do not want a nal over because of it), so you are amongst friends!

You are still very early in this process, and doing remarkably good, so please remember that.

It is those habits that keep on creeping back into our lives that throw us for a loop, but it isn't that hard to get back into the swing of things thanks to TSM.

You are doing great, and do not be disappointed, just chalk it up as lesson learned!

Jaba

Jaba,

Thanks for the kind words and you are right it is so much easier to bounce back from a bad day or days. This week is a good example. After the holiday splurge I had 5 AF days and 1 long night playing cards where the rum came out again. But all in all feeling good and there is no chance in hell I will be quitting TSM or drinking without my pill and hour before hand. I am almost to where I want to be as far as drinking goes. Just need to do a lot better on the few days I decide to carry on a little longer than I should.

This week's numbers were 0,3,0,16,0,0, and 0 for a total of 19 and 5 AF days. So feeling good and strong going into the new year. Now I just have to get my lazy butt back into the exercise mode. Nursing several injuries but in the past I would have worked through these injuries. A couple of more weeks with 5 AF days may get me back into the running mode.

Hoping everyone has a great week -

Reboot -

Sounds like you're doing great! Keep in mind you can use other things aside from exercise, like spicy foods, laughter, etc, on your AF days to make use of the Pharmacological Enhancement. One guy mentioned that he found a rock climbing "gym" that gave him a good workout and gave up his membership in a regular gym. Look into MSM (Methyl Sulfonyl Methane) to ease the aches and pains. A few of my friends with chronic joint issues have gotten good mileage out of that, better than the OTC pain meds they were taking before.

Thanks Joe for the suggestions. I will look up the MSM thing. Funny in the past all my injuries have come from doing stupid things while drinking or from trying to stay healthy. Now that I am neither exercising or drinking that much I seem to feel the pain more! Hell getting old.