Hi all, just had a rough couple of days... One of my friends battling depression for a long time committed suïcide a few days ago. I am in survival modus one moment (arranging for flower arrangements etc) and a so emotional and sad at the other moment.

She has peace now, it was her own choice, but she was so beautiful, so smart, sassy and caring... And had the World so much to offer. She however, couldn't see it herself anymore. I know she is at peace now, but will miss her so much... However, survival modus means staying in touch with your feelings and not numbing them so I try to drink as less as possible.

Sorry for ventilating but my friend just didn't deserve this...

T

I am so sorry to hear that. Please let me know if there's anything I can do.

Weird to type this message on my new boyfriends toilet, but a lot has changed in the last couple of weeks.

Since my friends suicide, through fb randomly i got into contact with him, bc we know each other from our old student society. However, he is somewhat older, so we didn't really know each other.

Chatting on fb lead to another, dating in real, spending a lot of time together (he works for himself so is flexible in dates/times) and within two weeks it was official.. I am very happy at the moment!

He does not know yet about my naltrexone/at this moment nalmefene but it goes ok, i will keep u posted!

How are you all? I am taking nalfemene at the moment (selincro) and it seems to have the same workshop of nal. And I am happy with my boyfriend which he really is now... But he does not know about my pill secret and bc his dad has been in a clinic a few years ago for heavy drinking... What should I share? I had a bacchelorette last night which I organized (I can't say no...) and had three glasses of wine. H

However, when I got at home, I drank a bottle of wine and the diazepam is still numbing me. This tp help me with coping with the suïcide of my friend and my busy schedule at work working 11 hrs a day... I do want to be honest and tell him, but not yet. However drinking for sleeping I don't do when I spend the night at his, so then I ly awake for 4 hrs... Maybe have to accept that too if I want to have children once..

I do think however think I have to Change in the way I am happy with the person I am and content with not enjoying the moment but always thinking further..

That and being honest to myself.

Thanks for reading! And I an very happy at the moment, but just can't leave the control go...

I found that once I stopped the alcohol I could sleep easier. Took about 2 weeks, now nothing keeps me up.

Good luck.

I found that once I stopped the alcohol I could sleep easier. Took about 2 weeks, now nothing keeps me up.

Good luck.

That sounds good, side effect! I am however still on the diazepam and have just spent two days binging in bed. I went on holidays, relaxed somewhat but have had panic attacks ever since, and the alcohol does not help.

I am sometimes compliant with the nalmefene, but when something bad happens, the recent suicide, the stress about my NLP exam (I passed happily!) and the breaking up with my former boyfriend already (he turned out to be a different person then I thought, but we stay in touch too much to really let each other go, make me go and not want to feel sometimes and then I just stay in bed, cover my head with sheets and empty two bottles of wine.

My parents are currently helping me with recovering, but I have had stomach ache for the last two weeks, which makes me go through gruelling pains and cramps.

Wish me well if you read this, maybe it will help!

Greetings and good luck to everybody,

Girlamsterdam

Wishing you well, Girlamsterdam!