Hi GA - I think the holidays are an unnatural time for us all, and I bet your #s will drop again in January. It seems you ARE getting in quite a few AF's, and they are pretty painless for you??? Looks like you've hit your one-year mark which also might make you feel pressured. TSM will take as long as it takes, and I think you can only force the issue of more AFs so much.

I'm now at about week 65, and though I know I regained control @ exactly 52 weeks, I'm disappointed in myself that I'm still struggling w/ the "habit" component. Still, the improvement continues to trickle in, which has been my pattern. Though I'm a bit disappointed, I did acknowledge this morning how different my life is now: I had 1.5 beers last night, and when DH offered me a brandy late in the evening? "Naw..." Drinking is so largely un-rewarding (only mildly "fun"), but still not to the point of apathy. Is "apathy" your goal?

[quote="Heavy Fuel"]For me, I got to the point it was a chore. I preferred how I feel without a nalover to how I feel with a drink. I think I had to have AF days so my body would know the difference. I had been so hungover for so long, it was a problem.

You just put it into words for me. That is how I feel. Drinking has become a chore. I no longer drink without having an AF day in between but when I do I have high numbers. This is my problem. Why am I either all out or nothing at all? How can I stop this?

Chrissie asked me what I wanted from this. I would really like to have a take it or leave it attitude about drinking. I am just really afraid I will never get there. Ugh!

Thanks to all for your support. I am afraid of where I would be today if I had not found TSM!

Sorry the holidays have been tough for you too, Georgiamom. I'm sure things will settle down now that everyone ELSE isn't also drinking heavily
I know what you mean about wanting to take it or leave it regarding alcohol. After two years on TSM (mostly...) I have flashes of that - but I still have times when I cannot get enough booze. It can be discouraging. But hey, at least there are the flashes.

Maybe try a few more AF days in between. AF days get you more and more AF days. You can do it!

Thanks HF. "You can do it" is just what I needed to hear. Thank you! Thank you!

Keep going! Almost there!

Thanks HF. I sure hope so. I have been on vacation with my family and mom and my numbers have really been up. Mom is a huge stresser for me. You can call me crazy but this morning I got on my knees and begged God to take this obsession with drinking away from me. I am just very frustrated and ready to be done with this stupid thing called alcohol!

On a brighter note AF days are very easy and painless.

Thanks for letting me vent. Best wishes to all.

GA

Why are my numbers going up? I am starting to panic!!! I have come too far for this not to work. Help!!!

GA

I'm new to this GM, but I would die for your numbers. You should be proud and keep them moving downwards. I gotta a long long way to go, so you guys keep getting cured so I can keep the hope.

Thanks C.H. I think I am over my panic/pity party (table for one). Thanks for the encouragement. This week has been good. Spent a lot of time thinking this weekend. Also, walked my first, and possibly last, half marathon Sunday. There is no way I could have ever thought of doing such a thing a year ago. Another positive for TSM. Also, can't stand the taste of wine any more. Use to be my favorite but no longer. Strange but wonderful feeling. As long as I stay away from the vodka I am good to go. Maybe I am finally closing in on ending my battle with the drink!

Thanks for all your support, each and every one of you!

GA