Just checking in...drinking is still pretty constant and feeling like a habit.
Last week I was at a buddies cottage for an annual trip of poker & golf...had 2 a/f days prior and felt all stress leave my body and had a great time. Lots of laughs and good food and had my regular # of units, although it was over a slinger period of time.
Since being back, I realize stress of home life is a trigger for me and need to somehow try to control my AL.
Reading posts like reboot's keeps me on the path...I hope to one day "see the light"!
Good luck to all!!!

Good to hear from you ttc - you didn't mention the brandy - are you still keeping it out of the house? I do think that the drinking is such a habit - I know when the nal finally worked for me, it was weird - in fact it actually took me quite a few months to get my head around NOT drinking - really odd and it is only now that I feel life is more or less the way it will be - 7 months later! but when we have done something for so long, the body is loathe to let it go - I don't know about you, but I do not like change - and this is a HUGE change! SO, just keep taking the nal, be more aware of the drinking (I know that lots of folk here say that but after I had that first one, that thought went out of my head - just being honest here!), and keep tracking units and posting - it will eventually work for you I am sure!

hugs, Maggie

Hey Maggie...that damn brandy...keeps making it's way into my house!! It's weird, I used to be a big beer drinker and I know have no interest in it! I think it's because it makes me bloated and I don't get the "rush" fast enough like I do with brandy.
I feel like AL is controlling my life more now then before beginning TSM...I think I believed the NAL to be the "magic pill" (I know it's not) and that one day I would just not want to drink.
As I mentioned, home & work life are way below par right now and I know I drink to avoid facing it...been doing that for 20+ years...hard habit to break.
thanks for the continued support!!

Hang in there, TTC. Sounds like you've pretty much put the beer down, so maybe a good time to redouble the efforts to include the conscious part of your brain in the process to make headway against the brandy.

On your next session, break things up and make it harder to be "automatic" about your drinking. Put the bottle further away, take a sip of the first drink and then get it away from you. Listen to what's going on inside and what you're feeling that actually makes you get up and retrieve the glass, then take another sip and again get the glass away from you. In between sips, get up to some little task you can knock out easily and see if the time between sips begins to grow. Check out Calm.com, maybe spend even 15 minutes letting your head relax with something like that website or maybe just some music you enjoy. Anything that might offer some other choice than picking up the glass again.

What's generating the stress at home?

Thanks for the advice JSP.
My w and I are going through tough times...she asked for a separation a couple of years ago and we both cant seem to move ahead with it. We have 2 wonderful kids and we don't want to put them through the stress, although it's eating me alive.
probably around 2 years ago I started getting depressed (I am a small business owner and things haven't been going well) and I was drinking more to avoid reality. I have lost all my confidence and seem to be in this "downward spiral" (I have read the book JSP ...it's hard to be battling drinking and relationship issues along with work all at the same time.
we live in the same house but haven't been in the same bedroom since Feb 2015...I just feel lost.
I know that I repeat myself, just having a rough day.

Yeah, that's a tough go. Relationships... there's some really embedded stuff there and reactive habits are hard to break. Is the wife on board with TSM?

I'm a small biz owner too, it's been just enough to keep my head above water.

Do you have any kind of talk therapy going on?

Wife knows that I take the pill but doesn't ask about it at all. We seem to be having very hard communication issues recently.
I see a therapist about every 5-6 weeks and feel great afterwards, but get back into my destructive cycle again.
I guess a big issue I'm having is seeing many people have a decline in their #'s and mine seem to remain quite high...I hate it. Its almost like I say to myself..."well, you drank last night, so you might as well take the pill and have your standard 8-10 drinks." I don't really crave the AL...again it's habit and not being in a good place mentally right now...I just don't know how to break it!!
I think i'll reread the "upward Spiral"...I also downloaded an app called subliminal that I play at night when I go to sleep to help w my esteem/depression issues...seems to have helped somewhat.
it's hard when I'm not finding pleasure in many things and having this stupid addiction doesn't help!
I know that I need to tell myself that I am proud that I trying to take steps to end AL, just very hard to believe it all the time. I'm also scarred of what life will be like without AL...I can't seem to imagine it at all

I think you'll make some headway challenging everything after the first glass. The indifference is there, throwing in the pauses and breaking up the habit will help let it float to the surface. That kind of consciousness/mindfulness will help you move towards an upward spiral too, just getting in the habit of challenging the automatic narrative that your head feeds you so easily. Well, not being hungover is going to automatically tend to put you in a better mood too. See what you can manage, it will be more like turning a dial than flipping a switch, you'll get the hang of it though.

Recall the part (paraphrasing here) where Korb talks about imagining being in a happier situation down the road and allowing that it could happen, that it might be a possibility. What would that picture look like? See if you can lay that one on your prefrontal cortex in a way that lets your brain build on it without a lot of effort and sweat on your part.

A spouse of an AUD sufferer over on Patient.info was locked into the typical "why can't he just quit" headspace and it it was generating a lot of friction and leading to him drinking more. Once she understood that it wasn't his choice and how people are compelled to drink, there was a major change, tensions dropped like a rock and he started drinking a lot less.

Check out Paul's video here and Claudia's as well:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YUv9fHoDvdk

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=-9gMU_Lzsm4

I get the feeling that both of you may be laboring under some false narratives that cannot make anyone happy, ever.

Been an interesting week as I have still been dealing with the disappointment of feeling like not much has changed...however...big breakthrough last night!! We had about 15 people over for Canada Day celebrations and this would normally be a "go for it" night...I had 1 beer during the whole evening!!! People even brought me some more during the night and I ended up dumping them out in the sink...just didn't want them!
I did have some of the evil Brandy during fireworks...but I was in control!! It was awesome!!

Happy 4th of July to my friends south of the border!!

I just wanted to say thank you to whoever maintains this website for getting it back up & running. It is a positive lifeline for me in this journey and I appreciate the effort!! Well done!!

TTC,


I am in the same boat as you, and I have been at this for over a year. Here I was thinking things were under control, but as soon as the pressure/stress hits I am back to my old habits. I do not drink as much as I did when I started (afraid of nal-overs), but trust me I could very easily!
I have decided that I just haven't extinct those stressors yet. I am going with the flow (drink when I have a desire and follow that GR), and hope for the best.

Then don't! TSM isn't about giving up alcohol it is about having control. Maybe you need to just go with the flow, and not worry about not having AL in your life. That is the beauty of TSM. If you do visualizations, start with visualizing having fewer drinks.

That is awesome and definitely a break through. Remember that TSM is a roller coaster ride and there will be ups and downs, but I have to say only one beer, and your Brandy is truly amazing! It sounded like it was effortless which is how TSM is supposed to work!

Keep posting,

Jaba