Hi Ketchikan,

Just picking up on your posts from the past few days... seems like you've been having fun.

So did you hit the gym in the end? The hardest part is getting out the door!

Something you said a few days ago caught my eye, "Beer is not a good fit for me. I believe that I am seriously allergic to something in it."

I also have an allergic reaction to beer, I start to vomit after 12 - 15 pints...

Seriously though, do you know about celiac / coeliac disease? I have a friend that can't drink beer as he is allergic to gluten. He was feeling exhausted, lethargic and really tired all the time - so he cut out gluten (any white bread, flour etc) and his health improved dramatically. It's a simple test - might be worth checking out. He now drinks cider and wine - though not mixed together.

You know, Andy, thanks for mentioning that gluten test. As a matter of fact I am seeing my nurse practioner next week and I will certainly look into that.

I am tired today.

Have another date tonight, again with that engineer. I am flattered by all this attention for sure!

This is cool, too. My very first love found me and contacted me on Facebook! We talked on the phone yesterday for more than a half an hour and I think he's planning a trip here. How unbelievable is that?
It is stranger than fiction!

Last night I saw a significant drop in unit consumption! I can't remember the last time I drank only 8 units! So that's a definite step forward!

Other than that, not much else to report.

Hope your world is turning smoothly,

Ketchikan1

Your number of men is increasing while your consumption is decreasing. Nice!

You're right, Nick!

Must be because I am losing weight!

And that I am no longer a falling down drunk.

TSM is working!!!!!!!

Yeah, stumbling drunk just isn't a good look. You could take George Clooney or Jennifer Lopez and make
them look extremely unattractive while stumbling drunk.

I am hungover. Again.

It's the same thing on a different day. I am still in the holding pattern from hell. And the grip it has on me is very powerful! I am hoping one of these days white wine will taste gnarley, bitter, disgusting.

I still love it. Love that endorphin rush that I know I'm going to get every single time. It's like waiting in line at the fair for (my favorite) the Tilt-O-Whirl ride. Waiting in line is drinking units and after about 6 units, I board the ride and buckle in. By 7,8,9 units I am spinning. And it's joyful. It's fun. It's a feeling I really, really love.

Then I'm out. In the preverbial black. Gone. No memory. Nada.

Like last night. I worked, I hiked, I made nachos and drank so much that I had to recount the unit intake this morning. I had to again follow the clues like some CSI agent. It's stupid. This pattern. I drank probably 13 units.

I am not discouraged. I am in awe of my brain chemistry. Is my brain really this dysfunctional? It reminds of this saying that is quoted on my Facebook page: "One in Four people have mental disease. Think of three of your closest friends. If they seem okay then you're THE ONE."

I am waiting for the craving to subside. But apparently I am nowhere near.

This, too, speaking of Facebook. I reported that the first love of my life recently found me on FB. Within an hour we were on the phone. He is moving here next week!!!!!! I swear, life is stranger than fiction!

Believe me- he is moving here for the summer job opportunities. He told me that he had been praying for something, ANYTHING new. And when things manifest so quickly-- it's gotta be driven by a higher power. That's my belief system anyway.

So here comes this fellow from 20 years back. This is actually the third time we've moved to be with one another. He was living in L.A. when I moved there from Sarasota, FL (my hometown). Next, I was doing a television pilot and theatre in New Orleans and he moved there from Pennsylvania. He ended up staying in New Orleans for two and a half years, but I took off with an assistant director back to L.A. So here's number #3. He is moving here from PA.

My family is shocked. Well, this man and I did more than dabble in lots o' drugs. Pills, coke, booze, pot. But, we are both clean from all of that. I know I am and I'm choosing to trust him. He had a lengthy tapering off time using methadone.

My sister, the lawyer, cross examined me a bit: "Well, what if you guys get back together and you trigger each other and one of you breaks down and says, 'Hey, I know, for good old times sake-- let's do some smack!'"

That will NEVER happen. But I am certain that when I pick up Patrick from the airport ferry something will stir. It just might be a whisper of familiararity. Or maybe cupid will strike with his arrow. Or maybe we will feel like brother and sister.... I don't know.

I wish that I were in my 7th month on TSM and not the 7th week.

Anyway, that's where I'm at. Today anyway.

Bah humbug,

Ketchikan1

Ketch - You made LOL. Let's see, my 3 friends are all pretty sane so.....IT'S ME!

If you could get off drugs, you can get off alcohol (or moderate it). You are one strong woman. Enjoy Patrick and remember you are strong....no worries!

Thanks, Lady!

Hi Ketch

I've enjoyed reading about all your dates. I really hope things go well for you with Patrick and I'm sure after what you've been through you will encourage each other to get the booze under control and stay well away from anything else.

Cheers
Sticky