Week 15
ended on sunday and went as : 3 AF AF AF 12 7 8 .

The mon on 3 and tues and wed AF were great , I was delighted to do two AF's in a row with zero cravings , I hadn't done this for months and then it was too forced .
With SR's words of "stretching the envelope " in mind I continued the third AF although craving started hitting hard , I'd made my spicey curry and bit the bullet .
The first two AF's were as they should be and the third was the kind of effort I expect of myself at this stage .
Fri pulled the trigger on a lunchtime drink which is always scary for me .
A luchtime drink for me invariably means I'll do a double session that day ,
a die hard habit that i'm thinking hard how to approach , I think it shouldn't be banned , it'd be wrong tsm to do that . There was another lunchtime this week where I did get away with " a bit" . Tomorrow will be yet another lunchtime as i've
to meet a friend so I'll attempt having just two or three drinks .
Situation wise
The good and bad news are two faces of same coin . The addiction and compulsion to drink are clearly less powerful but my situation of being housebound and very available for a number of pressing worries is really disagreeable .
Inspite of this it is cravings that will make me drink but floating worries won't and go unlubricated , the many faces of worries and boredom were always good cause to drink . Right now such occaisions to drink are very frequent yet so long as I've no craving drinking just does not feel the right response . It's so good that this
is not a question of discipline but just what I want to do and can do of late .
Addiction had killed this freedom for a long long time .

Elfern,

I am encouraged by your progress! I am also watching you and a few others as I am approaching my 11th week. When sometimes pops up, like a rise in drinking or a double session out of nowhere I am no longer saying "oh crap this isn't working" I know that it could happen and I relax.

I am starting to have AF days without forcing them where in the beginning few weeks, because I had not wrapped my head around it fully, I was forcing them. Yesterday I had an AF day because it just happened. There was a second on the way home I thought "hmmm maybe" then the channel changed and I drove past the store. The day before I had a happy hour schedule and said nope not drinking but on my way there I got the urge so bad to pop my NAL it was like feeding a feral cat. I learned things from both experiences because I am here reading.

Thanks for the inspiration!

Good report, elfern. In my 18th week and have seen no progress for the past three or so. Drinking hovers right around 50-55. SpringRider's admission that he was getting doubtful at about this point is an encouragement, for sure! Seeing the progress of others is wonderful, but also personally frustrating, at this point. I had assumed the beast would at least be more manageable by now.

Onward and downward!

Providence , G4M , WTE ,
Thanks for your posts and ecouragement it's always apreciated .

Providence any one who says I'm an inspiration is an inspiration to me !
You're in wk 11 which is well on down the track and expectations stir ,
it was actually my worst week and my lucky number but thereafter it started
picking up . I think you're doing the right thing at this point some effort etc
Good luck .

G4M , I'm sorry you're on one of those dreaded plateaus ;frustrating you're right,
but bound to break , you've seen so much progress before you know it'll break through again . Remain in light !

WTE , yeah "freedom here we come " I hope you see it more and more .
When we can't get out we like it when others drop around . I believe you're
getting out ok now, and if not you have to tell gay voice to call round !
( he was yours wasn't he ? !)

You're an inspiration!

This is very cool, Eflie:

Very cool - especially if you are housebound. And keep extinguishing your luncheons.

Hope the progress continues!

Week 16
I'm on a plateau (high plain ) but further down , it is however the same plateau
these last five weeks , where units are concerned I've been consistantly in the 30/35 uk units which is not a bad place to be at all . But it hasn't changed and it hasn't gone further down toward the precious safe drinking limit that I was hoping to get to .
I don't think I will get down there until the hard rump of my binge ghost fades away
And that ghost was present in Tuesday's and friday's towering infernos of 14 units
Double sessions and doing a "luncheon " are normally my sticking points . So it's simply certain i've some kind of need for alcohol abuse still . I think it's a large part ritual and habit . In this country the whole civilized drinking thing is very seductive
every country has it's style but the french way enchants me , all those bottles and glasses yellows and reds , aperitives and digestifs , big glasses ,....it all whips up my addictive voice and drives me to drink . But all the same I'm finding the experience of drinking less and less satisfying and rather hollow , so I hope this feeling will prevail and bit by bit i'll let the whole thing go .... plus some effort too ....
So My efforts are 1) now to cut ( but never ban ) lunchtime occaisions .
2) Have a 6/8 unit cut off point on any evening .
I rather pushed myself to write that but did it to bind me to the force of having a plan and stating it .

Last week was : AF 14 AF AF 13 8 AF

Hey elfern, don't worry, there's always that 'edit' button should your plans go awry. . .

"Hey elfern, don't worry, there's always that 'edit' button should your plans go awry. . ."

I know , I know I have had that tee shirt .....don't care for it though .

Hi Elfern - sorry about the plateau. I think your plan is a good one - try to stick to it, but if it doesn't work, it just means you are not yet ready. I think your luncheons are an important part of your personal addiction, so not sure if it's better to cut the actual occasion or keep targeting them as extinction sessions - know what I mean?

I will tell you this as I think you are following the same path as me just at higher levels so your path is taking a bit longer. After I worked through my plateau's and my wondering about 'oh, maybe this is just a habit or something psychological that I need to address....why am I still drinking if my cravings are down?' ...after a few weeks of that I am finding that it is NOT HABIT. It is still the addiction, so you need to work through that with the Nal. I am still not where I want to be but I am having many slap-me-in-the-face stunning reassurances that it's the medication that is working, not my working-through-my-bad-habits. My nightly drinking is way down. My social drinking is an after thought instead of an excuse for a binge session. A month ago it was still a nagging struggle, but I am seeing my habits changing because of the medication. All of this is to say, keep at it - it's the medication that is going to help change your habits. You are getting there slowly - but I really don't think at this point that there is an extra layer of psychology that we all need to work through. I am only basing this on my own experience, but I really do think if we let the Nal work, we will find that our habits are not that enticing anymore. It's very much behind the scenes...perhaps I read too much into your post, but I am sensing you feel it's now up to 'you' to get through the plateau. I'm just saying, maybe the plateau is just a really tough couple of super-highways that the Nal is having a hard time reducing.

Also - love this:

Here's hoping your rump fades soon : ).

Hang in there Elf - your numbers do look good, but I know it's frustrating!

Thanks Happy . Judging the balance between not encouraging an alcohol deprivation effect and stretching the envelope notion is key,the further we go.
There will always be luncheons as there wil always be holidays and as even "normies " have excess I Intend to have my luncheons without trauma, neurosis or otherwise panick . - I mean I wouldn't want to end up "out to lunch "

WeeK 17

Maybe a shade better but won't shout about a trend yet .
I'm expecting my old friend craving to pop in soon ,it is day 3 AF and it's about time..?
I'm getting out and about and working progressively more .
I'm Ok

PS . It does seem that re Mabelee's proposition of one drink less per session per month may well be the case for me . I generally tend to have four drinks when I drink now (6 uk units ) and it was more like five a month ago . Although the old days of having eight , ten , twelve or more drinks is no longer so, drinking a mere four was about the minimum I'd ever get away with and it'd probably be on a hangover day . I always felt i wasn't drinking unless there were a few . So if gets even better I'll be really , really happy . If it takes six nine months that's ok , as I've drunk for a good thirty years I rather think it 'll be long .