Hey Maggie & JSP...as always, thank you so much for the continued support and advice, it doesn't fall on deaf ears! I know doing this on my own is hard enough so the encouragement by you two and others is always welcomed!
Anyone reading these posts should be posting to get the support, it goes a long way.
JSP...25%...that's Awesome!!! You deserve the success! I hope the SE go away for you! Please keep us in the loop as I know you support others but don't post on your own journey as much. You are a rock!
Maggie...what can I say, keep doing what you're doing...it's working. Hugs to you and Happy Mother's Day if it applies!!

TTC - I know exactly what you mean about the support helping - I had lots when I first started and have not forgotten that - and yes, a AM a mum so Mother's Day did apply - and I had a lovely sober day with my daughter! I think that because you post, that helps you too. Any problems that you have, most of the time someone else has had the same problem and can say what helped him/her. This is not an easy journey - but the end results make it SO worthwhile. Hang in there,

Hugs, Maggie

Hi everyone...wanted to drop in and give a update. I have been following the golden rule always...take Nal minimum 1hr prior to AL.
As you can see by my signature, I have been having hills and valleys so far.
I think this is due to my lack of trying to practice "mindful drinking". I still fall into my habit of plowing through shots of brandy. Although, I can say that for a few times over the past weeks, even though my #'s were the same, on occasion, the drinks were consumed over a longer period. I guess this can be seen as progress.
I find I no longer get as excited about having a beer?? Weird!! But I do get excited to have the hard stuff as I know that the buzz will come on quicker. there are times that I do still get drunk and tell myself the next day that I wont do it again, only to repeat.
As before, my self confidence is still low and I contribute this to the AL...yet I keep repeating! I feel like I need to "solve" this problem before I can focus on any other ones!
Just feeling very tired and disappointed in myself...life of an addict.
I know what "I should be doing"...I just cant get myself to "do it!"
I'm happy to see others having success and hope to be there...Take care all!!

I do want to ask a questions...I have beer in the house and really feel like I don't want to drink it, therefore, should I only have beer in the house...meaning no Brandy? I feel that if I do this, I would then be "white knuckling" for brandy? Currently, if I have 2-3 beers, I always want the brandy....aaarrrggg!!

Hi TTC, glad to see you're still hanging in there! You bring up an important point, liquor seems to be rather more difficult to make headway against for some. Mindfulness may well help you in this respect, it may take being aware of what's real and present for you at the moment you decide to go for the brandy. It's likely at that moment that your conscious mind doesn't "show up" at the party and the decision gets tossed to the unconscious part of your brain, were your automatic patterns/habits with brandy are stored. Here's a bit of a shortcut for you: It may well involve some type of anxiety or stress, so you might want to have a bit of brandy around for some days of the week and really notice what you're feeling before you are moved to actually drink it. Your brain may give you cues that such a situation is present, because if the unconscious part of the brain has been activated, it will give you a bit of dopamine every step of the way from the stress event to the brandy passing your lips.

Now, eventually TSM will get you there by itself, but you can accelerate results and smooth out the journey this way. It's a war of attrition and every time you follow the One Hour Rule you hack off a bit of the craving that drives you. There's probably always been conscious commentary, but the craving has been so loud it drowns out the conscious voice. Bit by bit, the craving voice will become quieter and the "meh" will become louder.

So your best bet might be to not have brandy in the house some days, as there will likely be a desire for it and that's an opportunity to be with that desire and feel it, to come to know it and be aware of when it's present, as it may well repeat itself in an evening. Take that awareness and nab a bottle on the way home (be aware of how you're feeling as that process happens too) and notice "what's so" for you when the opportunity to have yourself a brandy is easily satisfied.

Thanks JSP...I think I just really needed someone to say it to me!
With that advice and my idiotic brain...I decided to finish the Brandy in the house 2 nights ago (didn't help me feel any better yesterday, but I didn't have the wisdom to just dump it) and had an AL free last night. Feeling better today and amazing how confidence and attitude changes when not hung over.
I know that I drink to escape reality of work & relationship suffering, but I also know that AL has contributed to both in a big way. I would like my goal to be to abstain but don't see this happening immediately. I have a habit of turning to AL thinking it will solve issues, instead, it just creates more.
On goes the journey and thanks for the support!

Good show, TTC! I'll be looking forward to your updates!

keep it up, TTC! eventually it will become more clear the way drinking to reduce stress creates more. you already know it; it just becomes easier to do it AL-free. keep up the good perspective and attitude. Nal on! zontar

Thanks Zontar...btw, love your #'s.
Ended up having 2 a/f in a row and only 6 units last night (was during and after golf and took about 3hrs to consume) so I am happy about that. Going to try and avoid having the brandy in the house...time will tell.
Woke up this morning feeling anxious about having the 6 units but need to remind myself that it is better then the 9-11 that I would have had if brandy was around.
Hopefully this is the start of something for the better!!
Appreciate the support!!

Hey everyone...just wanted to drop a quick line and ask a questions...

I find with this journey that I am having a very hard time with anxiety and depression while trying to battle the AL. I follow the rule, always, but wake in the morning feeling more depressed that I had drunk the night before...I can't seem to shake it!

JSP...I bought the book "Upward Spiral" that you recommended and am currently working through it. I also find that I go to the brandy when feeling down, thinking to myself "oh well...you took your pill so just go for it"...idiot. Last week I took brandy out of the house and that worked, so I'm going to try that again...I find it hard to break the habit of AL. I need to also work on mindful drinking techniques.

Definition of insanity...doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results!

I have zero support from wife and am feeling very alone (even though I have support from best friend, therapist & a few others)...I don't know what I would do without this forum!

Thanks folks and keep up the good work!

That might be a good tactic, TTC. Could be the brandy itself is contributing to the anxiety and depression as the blowback for that nice sharp lift you get from it, then you have a 24 hour flywheel effect that just keeps that cycle going. The hard liquor seems to be a tough one for some to tone down. Wherever it came from, good job on recognizing it cuz that's the first step to getting it handled. I'm concentrating on experiencing it without reacting. Kind of looking at it from a different point of view, letting other parts of my brain notice other things, not getting "wrapped up" in it as I can have it and have other thoughts simultaneously. If I try to resist it, seems like it just takes over my whole brain.

Try to cut yourself some slack for drinking the night before though. If you crave and follow the One Hour Rule, then you're doing your job and holding up your end of the bargain.

Has your wife seen Claudia's TEDx talk yet?:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=-9gMU_Lzsm4

Might sway her...