Oh, my I'm SO glad you put together this list and surely you felt more encouraged after you did so...great idea. Since we seem to be in a similar place - good w/ the AF's but then having trouble being moderate on the "on" days, I was struck by how most of these things were true for me, too ! A year ago, any ONE of those statements would have seemed like "pie in the sky/too good to be true", but now I take them for granted. Even on the days I know will be drinking - and may very well overdo it - I no longer practically drool as Happy Hour approaches...alcohol is no longer the center of my universe, for sure. It's still part of my world, and a bit of a trouble maker, but not eclipsing the rest of my life.
Thanks for pointing out just how far we've come! Yes, not where we want to be just yet, but I believe we'll get there.

Greetings to all. It has been a while since I last posted. However, I have been reading on this site almost every other day. Two weeks ago I had a great week. 4 AF days!!!! I can't tell you the last time that happened. But.....the next week was not so good. Only 1AF and my numbers were up. This week is not looking so good either. I think I may need to up my dose to 75 mg. Any thoughts on taking more than 50mg????

Thanks,
GA

having spikes is normal when doing tsm. just hang in there

Hi GeorgiaMom,

I can't say from experience whether or not to up your dosage to 75mg...but I know others on this forum have done that. You could try it and see if you tolerate the extra dosage w/out those awful side effects. You might find it works.

Another thought is considering using baclofen to help w/ the cravings when you're not drinking. Again, I'm no expert so am only suggesting doing some investigation on it. I look at your numbers and they are similar to what mine were before my AF run. I'm now reading "The End of My Addiction" by Olivier Ameisen...a cardiologist who beat his alcohol addiction w/ baclofen. It's actually a really good read...reads more like a novel than a text book. This doctor was a serious alcoholic making most of us look like tea-totallers. Anyway, occasionally on my AF days (particularly in the early stages of being AF), I would take baclofen when I had cravings...to reduce the cravings...as I wanted to stay AF that day. Seemed to help me.

I think you have to try different things and different dosages of Nal and other things to find out what works for you. Keep posting, let us know what you do and what your experience is. Thank you.

Increase you dosage to 75? Something to talk to your doctor about. But, truth is, where you are at....such low units per week....if you kept taking the Nal and never drank less than you are now, you would still be WAY ahead of most of us here. But the good news for you is that if you keep taking the Nal, your numbers should eventually go down. That, and because your units are quite low, you may be dealing more with a HABIT than a full-blown alcohol addiction. A Cognitive-Behavioural therapist might be able to help you even more than the Nal or Baclofen. Try everything else first! Baclofen has 10-times the side-effects as Nal. I know -- I tried it off and on for about 2 years. And the down-side of Baclofen is that the minute you stop taking it, your cravings return, so you will never be truly FREE. Nal, however, if it works for you, can give you total freedom. Freedom even from Nal if you choose to be abstinent!

All the best!

Greetings and thanks to all who posted a reply. I have really been thinking about the whole habit concept this week and I think you (Dab) are 100% correct. There is a part of me that when I have an AF day I almost don't know what to do with myself in the evenings. I had become so use to living in a alcohol induced numb state by six o'clock that being sober is a new and almost frightening experience. If I am numb then I didn't have to deal with anything. Who cared if my husband was in a bad mood or if the house was a mess. That is no quality of life. I can't be that way. I am missing out on too much. Also, my kids are at the age that they are starting to notice if I am not acting "normal". I don't want them to ever remember me as someone who has a drinking problem. They deserve so much more than that. Many times I have told myself that if I would not stop drinking for me then the least I could do is stop drinking for my kids. There are many days that they are what keep me going.

Well, now that I have spilled my guts it is time to get to work. I think today is going to be an AF day. Lots of deep breaths and prayer. Thanks for listening.

Being completely sober at night is a strange feeling that takes time to get used to. The "habit" part can almost be as hard as the "addiction" part to deal w/. What helped me was analyzing "why" I drink at night. The book "Over the Influence" helped me with understanding the "why". I wrote the list of reasons down in the back of my daily drinking journal and when I have a moment where I'd like to have a drink at night, I look at the list and remind myself "oh that's why I want a drink now". It helps.

I agree, being a good role model for our kids is a big motivator. Hang in there. You are making progress!

I think that's the best description I've seen of the dilemma daily drinkers are in when faced with an AF evening. For years (and years and years in my case - 33yrs) the alcohol has served a very useful purpose; giving us a few hours of "freedom" from the daily hub-bub, grind and constant barrage of frustrations, including freedom from the responsibility of it all - "It" meaning "Life".

But of course our perception of freedom is an illusion. When we realize that and then something like Nal enables us to fairly easily abstain for a night or a few, there is blank spot left in our evening time and an empty void left in our heart, mind and spirit. The HABIT makes it easy for us to fall back in to the old routine, which is perfectly normal. But when we KNOW that it's all an illusion and escape from responsibility (towards ourselves and others) then we also know that we need to take up arms and beat back that bloody habit, which is not easy to do. But it can be done!!!

I like Gott's tip about writing down the reasons and then looking at them when we are feeling tempted. All good stuff, folks!

KOKO!

Thought I would chime in: there isn't any need to worry. I had spikes all the way till the end. The spikes became less and less. Then I had one final push and I don't really like to drink. It's more of a chore than anything else. I would stay at 50mg as TSM is working for you, it's just taking longer. Dr. Eskapa posted a piece with a few sentences concerning TSM times to cure/control. I was in the 15% that take 10 months. Three months afterwards, I would be considered a non drinker by most people: 1-2 beers every 2-3 weeks. Though, I REALLY like raspberry tea!!!

Everyone seems to have that "what do I do now" moment! I would suggest a hobby. It helped me greatly. I have found I have more time, so I do more. I started taking classes, reading and have restarted working out. What to do with that extra time is a good problem to have!

You have come so far! Good luck to you!

To Georgia,

Just a thought about your psoriatic arthritis - which I read at the beginning of this thread.

Have you ever considered getting a gluten test? Even if it comes out negative, there are studies that show a connection to gluten and PA. I am not a health nut!!! But I do have friends who had this problem and went gluten free with great success. Just a thought....

Good luck. Hang strong!

-FA