Decided to attack the Whiskey head on. As we speak I'm sipping on a 12yo scotch- this is the home stretch, my alcoholism has nowhere else to hide. Its great, watching TopGear, sipping a scotch, all good

Some progress to report. I think my love for whiskey has died. I had a MAJOR trigger tonight, and I was like **** this I'm getting hammered. Threw 2 zantac + a Nal into myself and ws going to drive to the tesco to get a bottle of whiskey. 5 minutes, the idea had absolutely no appeal, and although I'm really pissed off, almost depresseed, about my trigger I could't be bothered gettting drunk. I'm not even going to try. Sort of a waste of a Nal pill but whatever, I think it has already done its job. There isn't a single drink that has enough of an appeal for me to get up and get some of it. There is cider in the fridge, don't want it. This is my 4th al free day in a row, and apart from one glass of cider on Monday.

This is definately the strongest trigger since starting TSM that I haven't drank, so definately good times ahead

That's great news. Once the triggers no longer have the usual effect, I'd say you're well on your way to extinction. Not so great if you're a dinosaur, but fantastic if you're on TSM.

I haven't updated this in a while, mostly because I can't say that I have observed any progress. I have to retract my cured status.

It is 4 months 16 days since I've taken my first Naltrexone pill. I have had reasonable benefit from using the drug. However it is not good enough for what I need- the problem remains. For the record, I have been compliant 110% with the treatment- probably literally because I always take a second dose if I am planning an extended session.

I'm not sure what's next. I have requested a referral to an addiction doctor in the new year. So it could be simple abstinence support for me. We'll see, its Christmas now so there's no point in me worrying about it too much. I can't practically continue with drinking though, realistically speaking. I have a very demanding degree where I am expected to meet certain targets (in terms of research/publishing). In the past 4 months I've only managed 1 publication, which isn't finished yet so I've been pretty sub-par. A major contributory factor has been the frequency and amount I have been drinking. I can't risk it much longer so I basically need a TSM miracle. I'm really not looking for pity here, these are all just facts I'll continue drinking, and continue to pop the pill, but when I'm back for next term and nothing is changed, me and TSM will have to part company. Might hold onto the Naltrexone tho

I have decided to flat out quit drinking from now. I had originally planned to quit on the day after boxing day but as it happens I have injured my eye so I have decided to move this day forward since alcohol badly affects healing. Therefore, as of 24/12/2010 01:12 I quit drinking, forever!

Zero,

Good luck with your resolve! I wish you the best, truly!! I've had an amazing week with AF days this week and I hope it continues (but I don't plan to be hard on myself if I struggle here or there). Mostly, I hope the effort we've made with TSM will make will make it easier to move forward without such a fight. Good luck through the holidays and in the new year. Take care, BTDT

Update---
This may come as a shock to some of you but I did not quit drinking. Got completely tanked on Christmas day.

I can't quit yet, FACT. Suppose that's the whole point.

Zero,

I'm sorry the week didn't go as planned. Addiction is a beast!!! I'm things get easier for you soon. I had a good week but no way of knowing what the next few weeks hold. Keep posting and I am definitely rooting for u!! BTDT

0_9: I hope the holidays go better for you. I also have a publish or perish career and my only saving grace (and it's not really a saving grace, just job security that I've done much in the past to not deserve) is that I have tenure. I understand the realization that alcohol is f--ing so much up in life and desperately needing/wanting/trying to stop, but then falling back into old patterns after days or weeks. And I tried EVERYTHING. I was in a nasty cycle of self-loathing that I couldn't tap into the discipline and will that got me through my masters thesis and tedious years of dissertation research. My first month on TSM I told myself I didn't care if I stopped, I just needed to drink less and get my life back under some semblance of control. As noted earlier addiction is a nasty beast. I hope that you can stick with TSM or find something that works for you, there are others on this forum who have had success with combining other treatment options (like Baclofen). Whatever you decide to do, don't give up!

There's something quite funny about this sentence

Thanks for the support guys. After last night I am actually feeling a lot more positive about TSM. I think after I lowered my expectations I got a more realistic view of what it can do for you. I relied on it way too much. I basically forced myself to drink lots of different drinks and then complained when it got me drunk. When I factored in a bit of reasonable self-control (as you would expect from any normal drinker) and didn't hammer drinks into me I was immediately successful. I had 1 & 1/2 pints of beer and had a great night out with my friends. I couldn't finish the second pint. 3 UK units for the night.
Previously at that stage (where I hit the wall) I would have tried every drink in the bar to see if I could start drinking again. Worst thing was that it was that I would done it for reasons other than a desire for more alcohol. I actually wanted to prove that I was 100% fixed, I wanted certainty. I think it became a sort of OCD (I actually have/had OCD, diagnosed years ago) to see that I was "perfectly" non-alcoholic. There was no need for this because I am now less alcoholic than my friends and most social drinkers. The guys I went out with last night did not stop drinking at 3 units, in fact I think they are still drinking (12 hours later, or whatever). Its a matter of time before I steer some of them onto Naltrexone. I'm particularly worried about my brother and my cousin. Luckily they might be the easiest fixed because they probably have the same juggernaut opiate system.

I'm actually so optimistic that I've cracked it that I am going to start recording my units again. Nice to start with a 3U.