Is there any real data to support this assertion? That each time someone does a round of nal therapy, it's less effective than the last? I can believe that in Barry's case, he may get less effect on the second go-around because he is using it more sporadically, but I have seen no proof of what you are claiming. I don't mean to nitpick, it's a very important point, and I have simply seen no data that the medication is less potent in subsequent iterations.

Anyway, I seem to have unsettled a few people with my assertion that Barry can do whatever the F*** he wants without any real danger. I've said this a thousand times before, and I'll say it again now. Barry is different than many of us. Call it what you want to. He calls it the difference between an Alcoholic and an alcoholic. While I would never tell anyone that they can't call themselves an alcoholic, it's 100% clear to me that Barry and I have fundamentally different diseases.



That's the beginning and the end of it for me, right there. For decades I poured every ounce of will I had into "cutting myself off," and with every new strategy I came up with, every new promise I made myself and others, I got worse and worse at not getting flat-out drunk and passing out. I am not one to blame my disease for my drinking. My first drink of the day was usually done with a sober mind that could choose not to. However, as the evening went on, and the craving got stronger, I not only used to lose the ability to say no, I lost all desire, or even the notion of saying no. Oddly enough, late in those evenings, it simply never occurred to me to slow down so that I could be a functional human being the next day. It never crossed my mind that maybe I was too drunk to drive. It never crossed my mind that another drink would make me piss my bed. I beat myself up about these things every sober minute of my life, but still couldn't find a way of "cutting myself off."

I am sure Barry gets tired of me coming to his threads and telling everyone "don't do as Barry does," but I am sorry, I just feel the need to. Barry, I hope you keep posting here, and I think it's great that you have reached out for help with whatever kind of drinking problems you have. I appreciate all of the input you have given over the years, but I need to re-iterate to almost everyone else. THIS WON'T WORK FOR YOU. My gains have been hard earned. After my honeymoon it took months and years for me to get accustomed to the way things are now, to find the best strategies for living my new life, and to learn the pitfalls inherent with taking a pill for my alcoholism. I would NEVER EVER EVER, mess around with drinking off of the nal, or taking nal holidays. I know exactly where that would lead me.

But back to my original point. Barry has drinking patterns that are problematic and dangerous for him. Naltrexone fixes those patterns WITHIN DAYS. I see absolutely no reason why Barry shouldn't experiment with intermittent Naltrexone dosages, half or quarter dosages, or long naltrexone holidays. But unless you are one of those for whom this pill is a magic bullet and not a slow moving train, DON'T DO WHAT BARRY DOES.

I'm not comfortable continuing to discuss Barry when he's no longer participating in the thread himself. It feels like talking about him behind his back.

Of course it's your right to participate or not participate. I will always give my opinion when I see, what I consider to be, dangerous examples being set, regardless of whether or not the person sharing them is currently present.

I've been thinking about that quote a lot JMS. Thanks for posting it. I don't mind the AA references since I spent several years there. There is wisdom in the quotes.....

Hey, guys. Back from six days visiting parents on both sides. I took 3 Nals and cut them into halves for each of my six nights. Each night, I said to myself, "I'll enjoy this one last night, and then start tomorrow." Needless to say, I still have all six halves. We did have a lot of fun talking among generations, but I definitely drank more than anyone and was sneaking vodka left and right. I still don't think it was noticeable to others around me, but it was to me. My lowpoints were: a couple instances of bad memory fog wherein I didn't remember a couple of conversations, two "emotional" experiences that would never have happened sober (again, losing the frame), and apparently I "made fun of" my wife to her sister (there's a lot of teasing in the family, but my wife neither gives nor kindly receives even slight ribbing). I don't remember and can only assume it was alcohol-induced. She's currently pissed at me and has barely spoken to me all day. So, yeah, it was a "fail," but not an "epic fail."

Of course, on the long drive home I reflected on this past year. I started TSM after New Year's Day last year. I suppose this December was improved over the last, but really not by much. I'm glad it's January now. I love January. It's my favorite month because you get all the B.S. behind you and can start fresh. I'm really torn here. Not sure how to proceed. Honestly, I'm still having sex hang-ups related to alcohol and Nal. Here's some TMI among anonymous internet friends -- while I enjoy sober sex, my wife really doesn't "get into it" unless she's had a drink or two. Women have been shown to be way more orgasmic with alcohol in their system. If I'm a complete teetotaler, she usually is, too. I can't exactly give her a drink while I sip a diet soda because it looks like I'm trying to "get her drunk" for sex. When I've taken Nal, had a drink, and then had sex in the past, I've had weird experiences and some difficulty orgasming. These days, if I have even 2-3 drinks, I can't get a good erection (no problems otherwise).

OK, so typing this out has helped me decide how to proceed (at least theoretically!). It's January and I'm strong again. I've seen the problems that arise from my drinking more clearly than I did this time last year (I've really become attuned to how alcohol makes me an emotional basket-case / wussy and hurts my attempts to repair / salvage my already strained marriage). I've seen how my self-control is really not strong enough for the powerful, nearly life-long habit of alcohol consumption. Soooo, I'm commiting here to doing this the right way again, i.e. taking a Nal (perhaps just 25mg) one hour before drinking, every time I drink. Yes, I'm worried about the summer, when my desire to drink begins to peak, but I'll just have to deal with that when I get there. Yeah, me!!! (Oh, and I'll be brutally honest about any failures. I'm not trying to impress anyone here, obviously!).

Well, if you follow the method to a cure, cravings shouldn't be an issue.

It really sounds like alcohol is your one big issue, but you wont ever be done until you accept your life post alcohol. If everything else in your life clicked into place would it be worth giving up the buzz? I think you really need to work on not TSM (yes do it) but more on your own self image. Write down a list of everything you should be doing, but aren't because of alcohol.

BTW, 25mgs is your alcoholic brain weaseling around what you know you need to do.

Oh, Barry.

I'm glad you're back and ready to do it right. You're not the only person who had to do battle with his own subconscious mind; there are plenty of others who often "forget" the nal or decide to go without "just this once." But your conscious mind is smarter, so this is a battle you can easily win if you really mean it.

sideeffect2 is probably right about 50mg. Even if 25mg is enough, as it was for me, nal is such a safe drug that there's no harm in taking more. Take no chances. Taking chances is how you got here.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about the wife's orgasms until I sorted out my own issues.

Great thread.
I think Big A versus Little a is a fascinating topic.
However maybe it should be under a new post to avoid hijacking Barry's thread
Anyhow, I agree with generic they are fundamentally different conditions and/or perhaps different points in a dark journey.

I personally would consider myself Little-a, however I always have a terrible fear that Big-A is just around the corner.
Its that fear that motivates me to "change my ways".

Good luck barryb. I hope you find some peace and success in 2014.

Well, finished my fifth night with no alcohol and no cravings. I guess that's one way to get around taking Naltrexone -- just don't drink. Actually, I feel better than I have in months. Fantastic, actually. Smiling, laughing, maintaining emotional self-control, marathon love making last night (big "O" for wife) -- both of us with no alcohol in our system -- so maybe that was a mental hurdle I needed to get over. No intention to drink for the near future. Life is good!