I'll be sure never to get in a fight with you. I'm the exact same size and weight as Eminem -- 5'9, 154 (pronouned "One fitty fo'"). I don't think he could take Stone Cold Steve Austin, especially with 40 extra pounds. Your BMI is 38!

I know what you mean about skipping dinner for drinking. I did that for years. But, I don't think I've eaten much more since I stopped drinking. I have lost about 5 pounds or so from all the exercise I'm getting at night (I went lap swimming and hot tubbing at the gym last night at 9:00 -- that never would have been possible).

You have many challenges ahead of you.

Viva Pope Francis I, by the way! St. Francis has always been special to me. In college, I got "this close" to becoming either a Franciscan (O.F.M. or T.O.R.) or a Jesuit (the new pope is a Jesuit). Got married instead. I don't think I have the gift of celibacy, for damn sure.

Favorite Eminem lyrics:

No more drama from now on, I promise
To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
And raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle on it!
Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I'm raising the bar
I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars
I feel amazing and I'm not afraid.

Oh, Eminem, you lyrical genius.

Hey man, I really don't want to **** on you, but it makes me super nervous to read about your driving, particularly with your child in the car. I know you've been doing it for quite some time, and so you might think its pretty safe... But it really isn't. Rejecting the tenets of AA doesn't mean turning your back on all "common wisdom."

Is there any way you can just wait a couple hours to get home and then hit the bottle hard... At least until you get this under a little better control? That would be a major success in my eyes, even without a drop in numbers

In most states, it's a felony with the kids in the car. I've done it too many times. This was probably my #1 inspiration to stop my madness because, even with the best of intentions, I'd still have to go pick kids up left and right unplanned. I'm very lucky I never got in trouble.

Generic,

Agree completely heavyhearted with you. That is tops of one my embarrassing, disgusting things that alcohol has lead me to. And I AM only sharing these disgusting events of mine with this group, because I feel it is forcing me to look at myself while typing-reliving these past events. Whether they occurred over the l st several years, 2 months ago, or last night. I feel this honesty to not only this group, but myself is a beneficial therapy that will assist TSM and lead me to control. I thank you and welcome all of your comments and concerns. The drunk driving being number one concern to quit and the health issues I already have (High Blood Pressure/Cholesterol and probably fatty liver) and worse probably to come are my 2nd concern, again for my family, as I would like to grow old with them.

Week 8 So far S17, S14, M3, T9, W6

Week 8 Projection 68.6000

Small failure last night (any drinking alone is a failure for me, and of course drinking and driving, which usually means I'm alone without my wife/guardian.), however, another small victory, NO VODKA. Total of 2 24 oz cans of the sweet malt beverage, before dinner. Stopped there. My body was saying, you probably could not open the 2nd can, as I felt full and satisfied by the NAL, however, that SOB gremlin talked me into popping the 2nd one.

Please don't ever think that you are a failure. Just remember that you are moving forward just by sticking with the program. Keep on keepin' on. You will get there. My last week stunk. I just have to tell myself that the next week will be better.

GA

Week 8 continued S17, S14, M3, T9, W6, T6

Week 8 Projection 64.1667

Similar night as last night. Purchased 2 cans, 24 oz malt beverage, 8%, very sweet, sweeter than I am accustomed to. Took the Nal, didn't really feel the need to finish the first, but the gremlin got me to finish both. Numbers still down, and no hard liqueur.

Today, Friday, I will be attempting AF. I will be leaving work at noon, and joining my wife/guardian ASAP. I will be with her all afternoon and evening, and we need to get up early Sat.

Tomorrow on the other hand I will be experimenting. Again, I will be with wife all day. Sporting event in the morning, that is keeping us away from the morning booze-fest called a St. Patrick's Day parade. Our friends and us attend yearly, and then they host a post-parade party every year.

We do plan on attending the post-parade party. I will be with my wife, which should help me keep from pre-gaming, typically a 5 unit vodka cocktail or 24 oz can of beer minimum en route. I will Nal up before getting there, stick to Natty Lite, and I am also going to be prepared to Nal up a second time if we are there over 5 hours. There will also be a lot of good food there, which I usually avoid or pick at so I don't kill the buzz and can maximize the drunk effect of each beer. Not this year, I'm going to eat like a SOB, and stuff my beer gut with Corn Beef n Cabbage and Irish Potatoes.

Again we need to be up early Sunday also, so all this combined should help towards control Saturday. Possibly another AF day Sunday?

Super High St. Pat's Weekend Expectations here, but what the heck! AF Friday, Control Saturday, and AF Sunday.

You might say I'm setting my drunk ass up for failure again, our you might say .......

"If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.", Confucius.

Ooof! I've had more than a few ugly saint paddys days, especially having lived in Boston for almost a decade. There was a real classy one where I got drunk enough that I leered at this girl's tits long enough that she left the party because I made her uncomfortable. I'm sure my mouth was literally agape. Real classy guy right here.

Thanks for sharing all the good and the bad Chris. Remember that TSM is a long process, but there are better days ahead... Especially if you give your wife the goddamned keys to the car! I beg you to pat yourself on the back every time you don't drive, even if you got absolutely sh1tfaced on skyy.

Hi Christopher and all,

A while ago you asked abt milk thistle (I thnink on BarryB's thread?)

Have a liim at this site:http://www.liversupport.com/milkthistle.htm

How you holding up Chris? Let us know when you get a chance.

WRT milk thistle I 've read about it quite a lot over the years. It's debatable if it helps, to what extent, or if it hurts in some cases. I don't remember where but I read that after a binge (as opposed to before) it could make matters worse, but I could be wrong there. Anyway I got a couple after last night's binge, from lef. There's also the issue of bioavailability as milk thistle (and of course standardization, goes without saying) is not bioavailable that much orally. The best brand that I knew of a few years ago was called legalon and it was a german one. Not that it helped me, my bio markers for my liver were **** anyway when I checked... Right now I ve been postponing the exams awhile though...

Weekend was not quite as planned.

Friday night, I thought I would be safe with my wife at an indoor volleyball tournament. SABOTAGED My father-in-law arrived to watch it with us. He likes his booze also, not as bad as me, but he still likes plenty. Well it just so happens that the volleyball tournament is 10 mins from a casino that the father-in-law has access to the VIP room, since he must gamble a s***load to have access to this. This place has any kind of booze you want for free. During 2 breaks in volleyball, he "twists my arm" to accompany him on a visit. It doesn't take much to "twist" my week ass boozin arm. So multiple breaks in action and trips to this VIP room later, I estimate I had 10 beers there. Proceeded to have 8 more beers after vb. So I went from a potential zero to 18, my pre-TSM average of 18 per day. I let my weakness allow for me to be sabotaged by the father-in-law.

Sat night/afternoon. St. Pats Day post parade party. I consumed 19 over 8 hours and took a nal about 2 hours before and another 4 hours into session. I did eat a lot before the party, and I did stop drinking at 9 pm, so that I could go home early and awake early, and I did eat 3 large plates of corn beef n cabbage. So, I acknowledge 19 beers is a lot, but I take a bit of comfort and feel I did have some control to eat lots more than I normally would and stop at the time my wife and I said I should.

Sunday, SUCCESS!. AF day. Another small victory.

Monday nights challenge. Youth Sports Group meeting at a tavern. I have avoided taverns for many years, other than a quick stop on way home with co-workers, or unless my wife was in attendance with friends. Especially in our community. I already know that I'm a drunk, and I have been trying to keep it hidden as best as possibly by not being a bar fly from others in the community that gossip about those that are always at the bars.

Week 8 results S17, S14, M3, T9, W6, T6, F18

Week 8 total 73 AF=0

Week 9 continued S19, S0, M6

Week 9 projections 58.3333

Thanks for keeping up with my progress. Good luck to all this week.

(Tuesday Edit here. Nothing exciting last night (Monday), just updating my numbers. Had 6 beers before dinner, and skipped Youth Sports Group Meeting at the tavern to avoid a drinking situation. No beers after dinner.)