Hi EL - you're still kicking major ass out there. Your back-to-back weeks almost remind me of some of minneapolisnick's later posts where he would give himself little challenges like seeing if he could make it through a whole week without drinking more than 2 days, or going a week without having more than two drinks in a session, but drinking everyday...something like that.

I really hope the job gets better for you, and at the very least, it seems like it's trending in the right direction. Each week will get easier, so keep up the good attitude, kid.

Thanks (as always) for all you do on this forum.

-H

Hi EL - First of all, I was VERY glad to read that you do that long, long commute on the subway, rather than drive...so hopefully that time isn't all lost to you. (And that got me thinkin'...why don't they have Exercise cars on Amtrak or subways??? Or maybe they do - I don't get out much). But I digress - I'm also glad that time is not lost to you for self-serving reasons, as I admire & appreciate how much you give of yourself to the Forum. As for your own TSM, you have been very steadfast, and thus getting great results, even during these stressful life changes! I envy your stats, big time!

Hmmm...Seeing Hesster's reference to minneapolisnick's posts, I think I should quit my "study" of the threads of some of our famous Rapid Responders, and switch to the threads of the longer-termed cured TSMers, like Nick. But it all makes good lunchtime reading, at any rate.

Chrissie

An astounding 30 units, more or less, on my last week. Terrible. Long stressful week at work with no social interaction M-F, but drinking (moderately) at home. And then a mind-boggling Sunday night where I had a breakdown about having to go back to work and still being tired and not having done all these things that I needed to do during the weekend and I want my freedom etcetcetc. Horrible. My boyfriend got really upset at me around 1am and said he wouldn't "watch me destroying myself". That really hit home. It was exactly like old times. Guess what? I had forgotten to take my nal; I had started drinking during the day; and I had been drinking on an empty stomach while stressed. WOW, what an idiot I am. Those were all the worse circumstances reunited. I should say that I did eventuall;y go to bed after my boyfriend got upset and I made it to work the next day, albeit totally hungover. It was ok though as I can do most of the work without my brain already :/
Soooo this was a week in not how to do things. I'm going to try and plan more a) exercise b) wednesday night outings and c) Always ALWAYS TAKING MY NAL GODAMNIT EL

ACK! Sorry girl. Yeah- all those things combined are pretty much only going to add up to ugliness. Sorry for the fight with the bf. Lesson learned. Dust yourself off and move forward. Didn't you just have a week that was 12 units or something? Focus on that and your gameplan. a better week is ahead.

Another twist in the roller coaster, EL.

But look at it this way: 30 units is now a high number when it used to be on the low side for you. Yes, the fight and the hangover are lousy. And the sense of lost ground is too. But you're making steady progress and I know you'll succeed.

Oh man, I hope I can get to the point where 30 units is considered "astounding!" Sorry to hear about your Sunday blow-up with the bf. I dated a girl that used to get crippling "Sunday Anxiety" about having to go back to a job that she hated, so she liked to hit the sauce hard at the end of the weekend (she was a bit of an enabler). I hope at the very least you feel like you got something out of your system.

I definitely agree that you should try to find some time to exercise, even though I know your schedule is a bit crazy right now. I've never enjoyed it as much as I have since I started TSM.

The job stuff will get easier - just hang in there, EL! Have a great week.

-H

Hello EL,

I'm so sorry about the blow up with the BF. Ahhhh well we know its a roller coaster ride. One week we think we are on the mend and the next week, all hell breaks loose! Hey, I've been there, we all have. Don't go hard on yourself friend. You deserve a break ya know. Lord knows you've been so kind and considerate to others on this forum. Sooooo, lets see what happens. Time will tell. Nal on..........

Hi EL

I'm sorry to hear about the crappy Sun/Mon too. If you and the bf are anything like hubby and I, you are also caught up in the pre-Xmas stress. Your work situation is different to ours. Not sure what your bf does. We have our own businesses (2) where everybody wants their jobs done by Xmas, everyone wants to be paid and we need everyone to pay us to be able to afford to pay everyone else. Also I am juggling looking after kids who are now on holiday with working. But while I don't love work and it's sometimes hard working with hubby, I can be quite flexible and I don't hate it either. And I don't live in the Big Apple. (Much as I'd love to go back there one day - I spent 24 hours there when I was 14, it was pissing down with rain and I don't remember much except that we went up the Empire State Building.) We think the traffic is chaotic here. We don't have subways as we only have 1.5 million people in Auckland. Our public transport is not great so most people drive. Even though it is summer is has been quite wet the past few days so traffic is worse, people are rushing and there is road rage...

Anyway I am rambling again. Last time I looked back at what I had posted to you with trepidation b/c I had been drinking, you thanked me for my heartfelt post - thanks!! I have enjoyed following your progress and I only wish some of us could meet up as this online stuff is not quite the same as face to face.

You've seen my SLOW progress and I'm still hanging in there after one year yesterday, so you hang in there too. Like everyone says, you devote a lot of time to this board and help a lot of us and it is very much appreciated.

J'espere que vous (tout les deux) passez un bon weekend sans disputes!

Cheers
Sticky

Thanks sticky, and everyone else! Things have been quite a bit more moderate and plodding this week after the Sunday blowout. I even managed to keep Friday night to a moderate-ish 7 drinks rather than getting blotto and out of control. I eventually got got very, very sleepy. Tonight I have to go to a party at a salsa dancing bar and honestly, I'd rather stay home and not drink. I have to go or this friend (who is in town briefly, and it's her birthday) will be very upset at me, but I'm hoping to stick to a couple of drinks and then be able to go home. What is worrying me more right now than the occasional binge (bad as that may be) is that I feel the need to have a drink or two after work eVERYDAY. The stress is just so bad and I hate it so much that I really really look forward to that drink. I am able to keep it in check but I am worried about becoming an everyday drinker, as for ME it just doesn't feel as healthy (sleepwise, foodwise, energywise whatever - i feel sluggish after several days of having even just one or two drinks a night).
Keeping an eye on this.
Everyone has been so supportive and amazing, I am really sad that I don't have enough time anymore to really address everyone's posts.

Up and down, kitten. Welcome to my world. It just doesn't feel like progress does it? I am hoping that with every sip, chug, shot and drink we are all that much closer to the gold at the end of this rainbow.

Criminy. It is taking many moons. I think I am in my 10th month and I have not had an AF day in 12 days. That's damn excessive and unfortunately still typical for me. Suffice to say-- I still believe. I still hold great faith that TSM is way through all of the.... well, through all of it.

Your man just wants you to be healthy. We all do Electra. Keep that chin up and walk tall, my friend.

Sanity is just around the bend methinks,

Ketchikan1