I think the problem with me is that I really have always enjoyed the taste of good beer. I'm a beer snob though in the 'old' days I would supplement my $10 six pack of craft beer with about 10 cheap PBR's, a few shots of vodka, and a glass or two or three of wine paired with dinner.

I'm so sophisticated aren't I :p

Now I still look forward to a good beer but don't have more then 3 most days and enjoy it for the taste. There still is an affect with the alcohol too. I can feel it. I don't know what it is but as most of us here no it's not the same. But the part that is missing is the part I can do without. That chase. When you have one beer then go out to the fridge and almost unconsciously pound down another one and carry two back. Those days are gone now for good I hope.

Yes, Ocean, and Jaba, for me too it is not the same, something is missing, but THAT IS THE POINT. That rush that we got that made us have to have it, other people (like my husband in the above example) never were getting. They were getting instead something that is festive, something that tastes good, something that is a bit fun, but not something to build one's life around. So that is why they can have one or sometimes two, and then leave it. That is what I want for myself.

UKB for me is AL is more like candy or sweets, but not like regular food. Regular food, while I love it, I am always thinking of as the fuel I need to live and want to make sure it is of the best quality and healthy for me. But when I decide to eat some gummy bears (weird I know but I love them, as long as they are Haribo brand only) it is a fun little treat. I just have to make sure I don't eat too many and wind up feeling sick and taking in too much sugar. I see AL the same way: a fun little treat, but in moderation. At least that still is my goal. I think it is starting to work that way for me. Last night I enjoyed a really nice glass of wine after a long day. Tasted great. And I enjoyed everything about it: the glass I used, the way it looked, having it beside me while I did some work, the treat of it and the relaxation. Poured the second, had two sips and poured the rest out. Very happily.

I think it is interesting how we are all so different. It is important for us to remember that: our goals are different, our personalities are different, the way nal affects us is different. My $.02 anyway.

xoxo Newlife

Very Happily indeed!

You are really changing Newlife...how exciting!

End of Week 32. 12.5 US Units, 2 days AF. A personal best since I have started TSM. AND, I could be mistaken but I do not think I am: I think it is the first weekend that I drank extremely moderately the entire weekend. YAY!!

I need to fix my signature to contain month averages as I cannot fit all the weeks in with the character limitations.

I am DEFINITELY not an instant responder. It has taken my brain a very long time to wrap itself around what is happening, but I have stuck with it and I think it is finally happening for me. 8 months is a very long time, that is true.
But many others have taken that long and longer, so to people who are struggling I would say DO NOT GIVE UP.

I would say that it has pretty much happened by itself, not through my exerting willpower or determination. My personality is such that I don't respond all that well to will power and determination. I respond more to self love and kindness, plus just what some would call mindfulness but I think of as SELF OBSERVATION. Like: how will another drink right now make me feel. Do I even want a drink right now, or will a pot of tea be just as good? How will it feel if I just don't pour another drink when I get home? Do I even miss it? Will it be worth the poor sleep and feeling lousy tomorrow. Then listen for the answer.

The hardest thing for me is to have AF days. That is the hardest thing for some reason, I still reach for that treat, even though I can see that I don't get what I used to out of it. Slowly will wait to see what happens with that.

I am very grateful to have found TSM. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is helping me turn my life around. And all of you posting here and caring about my progress are a big part of that. Very grateful for you all as well. Big hugs from Newlife

That's great newlife!!!

I like how you put that description too. Food is something we need for living and of course is enjoyable too but it serves a main function in our lives. Sweets (and I love the local bakery) and alcohol are treats. That really is the way I see alcohol now. I used to supplement my expensive beer with cheap beer and vodka or whiskey. So I'd always start with a real nice expensive tasty beer because the first one is not only the best in that it cures a day of withdrawal but it is also when your taste buds are not ruined by all the other alcohol. I'd buy one expensive six pack, a 12 pack of cheap PBR and always have a bottle of vodka around just in case.

Alcohol was a food. It was a necessary function of life. Now it's just a desert. I now only buy the good expensive beer and think of it as a sweet treat and have it for desert or something like that. I like to think of it that way and think that it helps. I never really sid like the cheap beer I just needed it. In fact if I had one now I'd probably not even finish it.

It's funny. Just the other day I was driving home from town and I passed several of my cheap beer vendors. Usually gas station convenient type stores that make it real easy to sneak in, buy cheap beer, and hide it in the car so when I get home I can sneak it into the garage or something like that.

I was a very devious and protective alcoholic.

But I noticed in passing those places last weekend that I have not stopped into one once since I started TSM 4 months ago. There just is simply no need to stop there anymore. It used to be almost reflexive. And I remember so so many mornings that I woke up promising myself that I would not drink tonight. No not really promising, I gave up on promises a long time ago but rather begging myself, pleading with myself to not go through it again only to find that the morning turned into day which turned into evening and I'd be driving by one of those stores and it was like the car turned into the parking lot by itself and before I knew it I was drinking again.

"I respond more to self love and kindness, plus just what some would call mindfulness but I think of as SELF OBSERVATION. Like: how will another drink right now make me feel. Do I even want a drink right now, or will a pot of tea be just as good? How will it feel if I just don't pour another drink when I get home? Do I even miss it? Will it be worth the poor sleep and feeling lousy tomorrow. Then listen for the answer."

Well put, Newlife. I don't know that willpower would work for anybody.

Glad you're good with how it's going !

Newlife,

I am really happy for you, for it sounds like things have turned for you. Happy days, Happy dance!

Those AF days will come, for now I think it might just be habit. I think it took me a month to realize I did not need to drink every night. I needed to be aware if I wanted to drink, or was it just a habit (supper time take a pill, wait, drink). Those AF days will come soon enough and it will be a realization that you do not even want that drink. You will pour that drink and say "I really don't want this so way am I drinking this"...it is going to happen sooner than you think!

Keep up the good work,

Jaba

Newlife I am truly happy that things are changing for you - it is most heartening to hear! I decided to have an AF day today - and on reading your post where you said about being fed up with the lousy sleep - that was one reason I thought I would have an AF day today - even taking a tab at night to help me sleep, if I have had more than 3 Guinness, my sleep is not good - last night I sweated my way through the night - awful!

I am so glad that the Nal is finally working for you - it has sounded as if things were changing for a little while actually - to me it did anyway! Good news !!

Do not worry about getting more AF days - they will come I know it ......

Hugs to you, Maggie xx

Thanks, All!! XOXO Newlife

Newlife, the process you just described is a tool I used during TSM and still do today. Life without another drink suddenly becomes preferable to that drink,or at least becomes more effort than it is worth.

Well done.