Thanks zontar. Sometimes it feels so slow. xoxo newlife

It might seem like it is taking a long time Newlife, but you are seeing progress. You have made really good progress in the past month, so please be happy . For I am very happy for you!!

Jaba

Thank you jaba. Just got in a big new stash of nal. 120 days. I hope that at the end of that I will see LOTS more progress. Hope you are doing well too. Nal ON!! Newlife

Glad that you got your Nal Newlife .... and yes hopefully by the end of it you will see a huge change !!!

HUGS, Maggie x

I have been thinking about this a lot since I read it the other day. In my circle of women friends, if someone stays to help "clean up", they mean to finish the leftover bottles of wine. I always would continue to drink during the clean up, too, and couldn't imagine why my husband wouldn't want to just finish off the last glass in a bottle of wine. I have not given a big party since I started the nal and I wonder if I would continue to do that. I think I probably would not, but I think I would not because I would talk myself out of it, not because the desire wouldn't be there.

I just read your thread, Nigel. It sounds like a few of us are in one big boat. Things are better, numbers are down, but we still want to drink.

Deena, maybe it's ok to have some desire, to look forward to drinking? Maybe we are unrealistic to expect it to go away completely. For example, my husband, who is not a big drinker, also looks forward to a drink when he wants one. But the difference is the control that he has: he would stop drinking at the end of a party, the "pull" wouldn't be there for him because his brain isn't wired like ours is. So he stops because he doesn't want to overdo, he doesn't want to feel bad the next day, doesn't want to negatively affect his health, etc., so he is able to make the rational decisions. But that doesn't mean he is without desire to drink alcohol. He quite enjoys it, but in moderation. That is how I want to be. I don't know yet if nal will allow that, but that is truly how I want to be at the end of this.

xoxo Newlife

Me, too. And I believe that we will get there.

Newlife and Dee,

It is funny that you say that for I do have the desire and look forward to a drink, but once I get that drink it is not the same. It is really disappointing and not as fulfilling as it once was (no enjoyment at all), but I think that is the process of TSM. I am not sure if it will be like this all the time, does anyone else have anything to add?

I'm just wondering what is it that's making you want to drink, what do you expect to get from it and does it meet your expectations?

The reason I'm asking is that because I noticed that I became like that with food (if anyone doesn't know I have also had food issues which mirrored my alcohol behaviours). I'd look forward to something to eat after getting through something, doing something, end of a drive, end of completing something. This would be on a daily basis and was not in response to feeling particularly hungry.

Realising this made me then recognise that I was using food as some sort of reward or carrot, which had become a habit which my brain was depending upon.

UKB,

That is a really good question, and no I am not getting what I want from alcohol (I do not know about the rest of you).

Each time I drink I am still looking for that "ah" feeling that isn't there...when will that go away...when will I stop looking for it?

So, no, it does not meet my expectations!

I am still looking for that relaxed feeling and for al. to take the edge off, so even though my intake is down my brain is still struggling and this does scare the bejesus out of me.

The logical side of my brain knows that it is never going to come, but the stupid "id" inside of me wants it and is screaming for it every time I take a drink!

TSM has given me the control I have always wanted, but I still feel like I am missing out on something. I feel like a teenage that has been grounded and not allowed to go to prom !

Jaba