It's been my understanding, at least from this forum, that "forcing" things doesn't help the process. I am trying to substitute other activities where possible so drinking just isn't feasible. It is probably a habit that refuses to die. It is definitely a habit of mine to reach for a drink when I am anxious/bored/angry, and it's something I'm working on with counseling. I guess I'm a little disgruntled because Eskapa was so insistent that consumption would just naturally fade away so long as one follows the protocol. I feel rebellious and disillusioned. Does this pass?

You've always been a little different in that you're an all-day sipper -- most of us were bingers. Still, your consumption has decreased significantly for a significant period of time, so I don't think it's just plain not working.

People can be addicted in different ways. It's probably possible for the same person to be addicted in more than one way.

If you're accustomed to drinking in order to combat irritation, anxiety, etc., then you may be drinking for GABA effects (or for the combination, since TSM did help you). TSM won't do anything for people addicted via GABA receptors. You might need a different approach for that. That would mean that alcohol, even on naltrexone, is giving you an addictive reward.

If it really is just habit, forcing AF days could be a good approach. You've had a lot of practice at drinking; maybe now you need more practice at not drinking.

Hrm. I wish I knew what to tell you. I can see why you're frustrated. Don't give up, okay? We're not just a bunch of TSM cheerleaders; we care about you whether TSM is the right/whole answer for you or not. We'll help you figure this out if we can.

This would be my guess, since it sounds like you're using alcohol like a medication. Eskapa doesn't address this in the book (he seems to think that endorphins are the whole picture), so I'm not sure that you can rely on a textbook response since you don't seem to be a textbook case.

If it were me, I would probably order some acamprosate (Campral). It's a GABA agonist and can be taken several times a day. I took it years ago. It didn't help with the drinking (I wasn't addicted via GABA), but it did make me feel really chill. There are probably other things that will help raise your levels of GABA or sensitize your GABA receptors. I would do some research were I you. Non-alcoholic beer has been shown to raise GABA levels due to the hops, so you could try that (or just eating some hops, but that sounds gross).

You might also be self-medicating a serotonin problem. Ondansetron (off-label use) has shown promise with reducing alcohol intake, and it has been tested in conjunction with naltrexone for cue-exposure (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/18391135).


Or, you could just try taking some 5-HTP or l-tryptophan to raise your serotonin levels. Just be careful if you're also on an SSRI.

Lavender oil has been shown to work as well as Ativan for generalized anxiety disorder (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19962288), so it would probably be worth a try. Or you could just try smelling some sweet orange essential oil (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22849536) when the urge to drink hits during the day.

I had been thinking the *exact* same thing, although I read a thread somewhere else on this forum in which the idea of adding Campral was controversial. So thanks for the backup. I think I'll ask for a Campral script on my next update. I have used OTC GABA and 5-HTP supplements in the past and had a little bit of success, as well as some long-term success moderating with Baclofen ... except that the BAC eventually stopped working and the side effects (somnolence) were too much for me to increase the dosage. Not to mention it's a scary drug to come off of.

I don't think it's a serotonin issue because SSRIs make me manic. The only thing that ever worked for me was/is Wellbutrin, which I believe acts on dopamine.

BTW, I find it hilarious that Nal seems to have completely extinguished my coffee habit. I've had maybe two cappuccinos in the last month, and I used to regularly drink 2 to 4 cups before noon. Now the idea of coffee is kind of off-putting. Absolutely no desire. I did some poking around on Pubmed and it seems caffeine does work on opioid receptors to some extent. Who knew?

Applause, I think you should be very happy with what you've done! So glad you are sharing your experiences with us and all future participants. We need to get the word out and let people know we're all different and respond at different times. Don't feel bad for not responding as fast as others that are currently posting. There have been posts in the past of taking up to a year. I've noticed your desire has waned. You can control your drinking in social situations. You now realize there's no reward when you drink and you are healthy. Sounds good and positive to me. Imho, just keep the course.Thus allowing the process to keep getting stronger and stronger. I'm really impressed your now considering implementing new activities. I believe this may hold the key to your recovery. Could it be that one of the hardest things in our recovery at first is releasing our past behaviors and then implementing new ones? With your desire for alcohol releasing, aren't you freer to embrace this new You? You can do it......Peace

Thanks, plant, I hope you're right. I know I'm drinking in response to some emotional stresses even when I don't really feel like it ... it's just habit to reach for something. Like when you quit smoking and don't know what to do with your hands for a while. And living with a heavy-drinking partner does NOT help. As you can probably imagine, I'm having to weigh the value of the relationship vs. me getting healthier and it's causing a lot of internal conflict. I look at the empty bottles in the morning and think, "Jeezus, what the hell are we doing? And do I really have to leave to make it stop?" I have not shared this with him, although I've talked about it with my psychiatrist. Heavy stuff. I've decided not to make any big decisions until I'm sure I can do so with a clear head, but in the meantime the psychological tension is pretty stressful.

Anyway, I appreciate all the support. Thanks.

Haven't had internet access for a while, but here's the latest. Consumption still dropping, but not as fast as I'd like. Broke through 50 last week, though (45.5). (Pardon the huge image; photo hosting service isn't cooperating).

Awesome Kate! Woo hoo.... lowest consumption since tracking. Stay the course, I still believe its working. I know it's not as fast as you would like. But, considering your circumstance .....your execution has been flawless. I only wish your bf would participate and help put you and himself in a little healthier lifestyle. I think it would be easier for you. Applause