See it through, sideeffect2. That way lies madness. That's how people end up having to start TSM all over again from scratch, and it's only harder the second time.

Because of your extreme side effects, you never actually drank much on nal. Perhaps you didn't get the extinction? If so, I'm not sure what to suggest . . . try nalmefene maybe? You've basically gone with straightforward abstinence, and we all know how hard that is to maintain.

Stay strong. I completely understand how rotten this is, but we have to see it through.

Apparently relatives are my strongest trigger yet.

Was planning on drinking today, but I dont think I will. I should have taken a pill yesterday and had a drink.

Hi sideeffect , I think relatives are a trigger for many of us , congrats on all the af days , just promise yourself if you want a drink take your nal , all the best, j.

Well, its been my longest stretch yet, and it has been mostly effortless aside from some thanksgiving drama.

I have other relatives coming in next week. I may have a drink with them or maybe i wont.

I have a real reluctance to calling myself cured. I hate eating my words and i hate making rules for myself to follow. I am a bit of a rule breaker...

Its really amazing that this process is not more widely known. Not that im going to be a posterboy for it.

I don't really like the "cured" term either, but I figure I'm pretty much stuck with the common lingo. If I were describing for myself, I would say that the addiction was broken.

There are several factors behind this not being as well known as it should be. One is probably simple inertia. This isn't the only area of medicine in which something is hiding in academic journals when it should be shouted from rooftops.

I do believe Stepper hegemony is another factor, though. Hardcore Steppers actively work against any other options. They honestly believe they're doing right, because only the Twelve Steps can work and trying anything else just delays getting to the truth of AA. They can be a little scary, and they're entrenched in the courts and the medical system.

I don't want to be a poster child either, but I'm thinking of doing so anonymously. Some of us have to do it, or more people will die without ever even knowing a cure is available. That's not right.

Had alcohol and no nal tonight.

a!@#

Went out for coffee with the wife. She ordered some banana crepe whatever.

Drinking my coffee, desert comes out, two forks. I take a bite. Rum, full strength. Wife says, nah, they burned it off. No way. I get a small buzz from it. What a lightweight i have become. Considered taking a nal, but im sure i would have metabolized the alcohol before the nal kicked in.

Hmm.

One accident, if it's a genuine accident, isn't likely to send you back to the beginning. It's when we start having a greater number of such accidents that we have to consider our own motives.

You're probably still good.

Work christmas party tonight. If I dont drink and otherwise make a spectacle of myself Ill consider that a success. Will be interesting because Im a known drinker at these functions.

Has been seeming silly at this point to keep tracking my AF days. At the risk of hubris, I think Im done with alcohol at this point.

If you're a known overdrinker, they'll probably be glad for you. If you're just a known party guy . . . well, anyone can abstain now and then. They'll probably just figure you have a cold or something.

Or, of course, you could nal. Maybe "party" is a good cue to extinguish.



"This is silly" is the same reason I called it done, and I've been fine. I don't think I've had any alcohol at all since I declared myself cured, come to think of it.

Nothing silences a room like people finding out you don't drink anymore, then someone jumping to the conclusion that you joined a religion that particularly frowns upon drinking.

"You don't drink anymore? Oh ****, did the Jehovas get ahold of you? I told you not to open the door!"

Its a fine line because I don't feel like I need to announce it everywhere, or explain, but apparently some are so aghast an explanation is required. I guess that was the first time I said I dont drink anymore instead of Im drying out.

I just went with "I had enough". That seemed to go over ok. One guy totally agreed. Others had somewhat quizzical looks.

I think people are concerned about judgement. I'm pretty laid back though. I certainly wouldn't have listened to a teetotaller when I was drinking, so I'm certainly not going to try to convert others.