No sooner had I posted the above, I had an AF day on the 24th. Yesterday, I had another AF day. I wonder how long this will last?

Interestingly, they were 2 days when I was emotionally low. Last week I had a job interview that went really badly (thankfully, I currently have a job) and in the past, I'd turn to booze so I don't have to feel. But I didn't.

Yesterday, I was feelign down too. But I didn't drink, I didn't seek to numb my feelings.

This is a very, very important step of my journey, I think. I drink for the dopamine, but I also drink for the oblivion, but I didn't seek it those 2 days.

Exciting turn of events! Thanks for posting and congratulations!

<<<<< Interestingly, they were 2 days when I was emotionally low. Last week I had a job interview that went really badly (thankfully, I currently have a job) and in the past, I'd turn to booze so I don't have to feel. But I didn't.

Yesterday, I was feelign down too. But I didn't drink, I didn't seek to numb my feelings.

This is a very, very important step of my journey, I think. I drink for the dopamine, but I also drink for the oblivion, but I didn't seek it those 2 days.
>>>>>

Yes, yes, yes! Drinking away the bad feelings WORKS -- for 8 hours or so, then they're back with a vengeance and with added baggage. Finding other ways of dealing with them is absolutely essential, in my opinion, and for me at least, a good start on that was to back up and ask myself if the situation was REALLY that awful and intolerable, or if I was just talking myself into thinking it was. Probably a third of my "troubles" didn't pass the smell test -- weren't really that important in my life, or weren't anything I could change, or weren't my job to change (who says I am the All-Powerful Fixer?). I'm still a long way from 100% in that department, but I'm thrilled to see you writing what you wrote.

I've stopped counting the beers and I avoid the hard stuff. But, I've been super religious about taking Nal before drinking. If I'm out and alcohol is available, I abstain (and drink when I get home). I've had maybe 2 or 3 sober days since I've begun. But I do feel that I am starting to feel different about alcohol. Sure, I still drink everyday, but I certainly drink less. Last night, after have 2 tall cans of Steel Reserve, I had another can in the fridge and I thought to myself, "Do I want another one?" Surprisingly, the answer was, "No." I'm sure I'll regress and drink a little more some nights and a "take it or leave it" attitude to not drink at all is still some ways off, but I do feel my relationship with alcohol is changing. This is working and I'm sticking to it. Keep on Nal'ing.

I think I'm well into my journey. I don't really drink for the opiates anymore. I'm getting tired of drinking for the oblivion. But the sugar, I still crave the sugar; I need to get past the sugar.

Interestingly, I remember a poster once saying that she misses the war feeling she got from drinking. Now that I don't drink as fast and as hard, I think I've rediscovered the warmth; I've rediscovered what it feels like to be buzzed.

Edit: I think eating a bag of Skittles actually lowers my desire for beer.

How many units do you think you are down to weekly?

I think I will try the skittles thing also and get back with you.

I use to drink 3 to 4 24oz Steel Reserves a day, 4 to 6 on the weekends. Now I drink 2 to 3 on the weekdays and up to 4 on the weekends.

The cost/benefit ratio of drinking is changing for me. I feel like I want to drink right now, but I know how it's going to make me feel later so I haven't been drinking yet. I still don't have the "take it or leave it" attitude, but I'm also don't have an uncontrollable desire to suck down a can of Steel Reserves as quickly as possible.

edit: You can eat anything with lots of sugar in it; sometimes I'll drink soda instead. Skittles just happens to be my candy of choice; I used to eat a pack a day back in high school.

Hi Skylar,

You seem to be coming along nicely.

I think you have hit on something big when talking about sugar. A lot of people successfully quell cravings with sugar, and several books have been written about alcoholism and hypoglycaemia.

When we are hungry our blood-sugar levels go down. If we are sugar sensitive they can go too low, much lower than non-sensitive people's. Our immediate reaction is to want sugar in some form, alcohol is the answer for a lot of folks. If we can't drink, we tend to go for a sugary drink or snack or a high carb processed food. This brings our blood-sugar levels back up again, but the problem is that the sugar goes too high and for too short a time. So we spend the day on a sugar roller coaster, up and down...

A more effective way to deal with this is to eat protein at regular intervals. Make it a habit to eat protein at every meal, if you need a snack, opt for nuts, humous, peanut butter, a hard boiled egg, or a chicken drumstick etc... This prevents your blood-sugar levels from spiking and plummeting as happens with carbs/processed foods and sugar. Stable blood-sugar prevents cravings. For many people, the need to drink is simply the need to get our b-s back on track. Never drink on an empty stomach, ever! Always eat before drinking, even if you feel it will spoil your appetite, do it anyway. It prevents us from bingeing on alcohol and the wrong food. Try it, it really works.

Curi

Thanks for the tips, CuriousOne. I'll definitely try those things.

I've done a terrible job keeping up with how many Nals I have left. Now, I have about 5 left and my next shipment probably won't get to me for another 2 weeks. So, I'm forced to have as many AF days as I can and keep the 5 I have left for when and if I break down and need a drink. I've already spent the the past week only taking half, I'm not sure if there's a difference, often, I'll take as many as 2 for when I drink throughout the day. I seem to be doing okay on only half, I can say that my urge to drink is lower than when I've tried to quit drinking before. That definitely is because the Sinclair Method is working, but also maybe part of it is psychological: I'm not drinking today, but I know I can if I want.

So far are you into your journey.

I have never tried Steel Reserve. I may try it. I am desperately trying to give up the vodka.