Progress update:

Well, This is my third week in the US and I am feeling pretty good. The first week during my job training I drank one night with Nal, had 2 shots of whiskey before dinner and then a carafe of saki at the restaurant with dinner. I had a nice time and although I had a bit of a urge to drink more I was in control and wisely decided not to continue to drink (Yea!!!) Spent the last week at my brother's ranch where I didn't drink at all, yesterday we drove down to the town I grew up in to see some friends. We went out to a club to watch a band and I took a nal before we left. I ended up drinking 3 pints of my favorite beer over three hours. I even found it difficult to finish my third pint. We got home after 12 and I didn't get to sleep till after 1. As usual I was awake at 5 so today I am feeling pretty tired and a bit "detached" but not really hung over although I have a bit of anxiety that I get the morning after. I think I am slowly getting to a point that I actually do not want to drink. Slowly gaining some confidence that I can control my drinking when I do.

I must seem like a bore to many of you as I don't have a daily or even a weekly issue with alcohol. What I am though is very volatile and self destructive when I do drink to excess. I am a very determined person and when I drink this determination gets directed toward very risky and dangerous behavior which doesn't impress my loved ones, friends, or law enforcement.

Thanks for reading this, I find writing these progress updates very therapeutic and I hope that somebody that suffers with a similar problem will discover that Nal is a viable "cure" for the infrequent binge drinker that has trouble stopping once they have started.

Eric

Greetings. You posted something to me the other day that really hit home and made me think. You talked about finding and or developing a hobby or passion. It made me realise just how much time drinking had taken up in my life. I use to love to read and do crossword puzzles. I also use to love to watch Wheel of Fortune with my family. I have started to enjoy these things again since I am no longer always buzzed by dinner. I have also started a small side business making redneck wine glasses. (If you don't know what that is you can see them on google image.). I don't want to go back to that dark place ever again. That is why when I do drink too much at night I really get mad at myself because I feel like I am missing out on life.
Take care!

Georgiamom,
The redneck wine glasses are hilarious! I have never seen them before and to think I spent 2007 to 2011 in AL. What do you like to read? I am mostly non-fiction (politics, books on climate change) but I just got done reading the first two Hunger Games books and am looking forward to reading the third. I also read all three of the "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" trilogy which I enjoyed.

Eric

Update:
I have been AF since last Sat. night. Don't even have an urge to drink. I doubt that the Nal has completed the extinction process as I really haven't taken much since I started in Feb. I am now back in the UK so I won't be nearly as busy as I was on my vacation so I may find time to have a drink or two. I find myself wanting to drink just so I can take the Nal and get on with the process.

I had an interesting conversation over dinner with a high school friend of mine that I hadn't seen in 26 years. He is a "recovering" addict and does the AA and 12 step program. He has been clean for 4.5 years and was very certain that the Sinclair Method was a huge mistake and would not work even though he had never heard of it. Even said he would bring up the Sinclair Method at a meeting so that his peers could have a chuckle. He said I was an alcoholic and was surprised that I was still drinking even though I was aware of the consequences. I wasn't going to debate him as he had no knowledge of TSM and I only brought up the fact that the Sinclair method has an 80% success rate compared to AA which is 5%.

Here is what I have discovered about the AA successful by talking with my friend and some of the blogs that I have read:
1) They are arrogant about AA.
2) They cannot understand why anyone that has ever had a drinking problem would not choose abstinence and believe that abstinence is the only answer. They have to believe this though as they know that if they take a single drink they will be back at square one.
3) They have made AA the center of their lives. This is a religious awakening which is a successful deterrent for alcoholics and drug addicts. In fact there were experiments done using LSD to induce the same type of experience and it worked quite well. So, like a person who has been "saved" and turns their life around and gives themselves to God, the AA member excepts AA as the answer and gives themselves to a higher power and AA becomes their church.
4) They maintain a very safe life. They take little or no risks as it pertains to their addiction. Remember, one drink and it is back to square one.

I don't have a problem with AA. If it works for you, great! I went to four meetings and found the whole experience nauseating and most of the people there pathetic. It was a really depressing scene. I don't want to live my life in fear of anything, including alcohol. TSM gives me that, a freedom from alcohol. I can choose when I drink and how much. I can get falling down drunk if I want, or I can have a couple of drinks and quit. With Nal it is becoming my choice where before I had no control over how much I drank when I drank. I don't have to say "Hi I am Eric and I am an alcoholic" because I have never seen myself as an alcoholic. I am a binge drinker who does really stupid **** when I am black out drunk. The best part? Soon I will be saying that I WAS a binge drinker. To me, a huge difference.

AA says that you are weak and deprived and need God to make you better. TSM says that you have a physical issue with alcohol that can be treated with a simple and safe drug. No need to change all your friends. No need to change your lifestyle. No need to go to support meetings. Although with TSM you may want to change friends, you may have a change in lifestyle, and you may like to get support on this blog. But, it's your choice and with TSM you can make it.

So what did I say to my AA friend? I told him that TSM wasn't for him because he was successfully working the steps and was happy in his new, safe circle. To any AA people who have found AA to be the secret to their continued abstinence I say "good for you"! Now shut the hell up about TSM or any other program you have no knowledge of.

For anyone that may read this that is trying to decide how to fix their problem I would suggest that you do the research, yourself! Don't take what I say, or anybody for that matter, as truth. Read the studies about nal+drinking and choose for yourself. There are studies with Nal + abstinence and they did not have positive results so you need to read the papers on Nal + drinking to get the whole scoop on TSM.

Good Luck,

Eric

Eric, I cannot agree more. Whatever we all find that works, it's the last thing we tried. For those in AA and happy, they are where they need to be. For those taking high dosage bacoflen or other drug, good for them.

What I have in common with AA is their 12th step: I want others to know I was successful doing this. I want THEM to be successful doing something too. No one need die of this. There is more than one way.

I agree as well. AA made me crazier than I already was. Ha. If it works for you then great but please don't tell me it is the only way. I felt like a failure the year I attended meetings. The one thing I like about TMS is I truly feel it is slowly healing my brain. When I start to think about drinking my brain tells me " sure, go ahead but it isn't going to be any fun".
Kind of takes away the thrill. THAT is a good thing.

I do have to say one thing. I am a "saved" Christian and have been for years. If I had not had my faith during all this I don't know what I would have done. However, I would NEVER EVER push that onto any one. It is such a personal thing.

Now for the fun stuff. I too just finished The Hunger Games books. Loved them. I have the Dragon Tatoo book. I think I will start that next. I love to read anything that is a mystery or historic fiction type. Any ideas? And, yes I did read all the Twilight books just like all of the other moms. I am on team Edward and my daughter is team Jacob. Ha

Hope you are doing well. Sounds like things are progressing well. Welcome back home!

Georgiamom,
I am no longer a believer but I have no problems with those that are. I don't even mind people that want to share their faith with me or have an intelligent debate about faith (I did say intelligent debate) as long as it's not argumentative, I have no patience for that. I have mostly good memories and made good life long friends during my christian years. As you inferred, faith gives people strength. What could be wrong with that?

I picked up the last Hunger Games book just before I got on the airplane to come home and finished it somewhere over the Atlantic. I enjoyed all three of them. I am currently out of reading material...I think I will read the latest autobiography of Condi Rice next...I can't help much on the historical fiction. If you want a good book about climate change...ha ha.

Eric

Appreciated reading your comments about AA. After much failure, AA (and occasionally SOS) finally got me through five months of reasonably comfortable abstinence, but like you, I was put off by many things about AA. "How It Works," for example, says the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking, and no bones about it, my desire is to resume SANE drinking, not to be abstinent forever. Then there's "That One is God, may you find Him now," and "God could, and would if he were sought," and the Lord's Prayer at the end of most meetings, all of which are a major problem for me. AA doesn't require that you believe anything? Guess again. No matter what word games they play, AA is about eventually coming to believe in and utterly surrender to a Christian God. Anything short of that and you're never going to receive the inner passwords and be taught the secret handshake. My agnosticism is sincere, long in the making, and not negotiable.

I will say that, while I have high hopes for TSM, I'm running a parallel program to get my thinking straight(er) about to handle strong, unpleasant emotions, because drinking darn sure wasn't it. And AA's emphasis on "the fellowship" is valuable, I think, because sharing those kinds of psychological issues with others is sometimes essential, as is the idea of making amends when some past wrongdoing of mine bothers me so much I have to do something positive to set it right. So although AA isn't a good fit for me, I absorbed a lot of good stuff there after learning how to tune out the static.

Ellpee,
I think you hit the nail on the head. What I miss most about being a Christian and being involved in church is the fellowship, the relationships I developed with people that I still have today. Sounds like AA's most valuable asset is that as well. Thanks for the input.

Eric

Progress report (a little late),
Did not drink at all last week until Saturday. Me and the wife went to Edinburgh for our anniversary and I had two stouts on Sat. night. Didn't want any more. I have had lulls in my drinking before but I have never not enjoyed drinking until I started on TSM. At this point I simply don't like to or want to drink. I still get in the mood for a beer or a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey and then when I do drink it I really don't enjoy it. Right now I honestly feel that I am "cured" but I really don't want to make any claims this early on. I still have bad thoughts about drinking, blacking out, and waking up being told I hurt someone or did something terrible so I am not real sure if my drinking enjoyment is being biased from my fears or from the Nal. I am hoping it's the Nal, the fear will pass.

Eric