Week five and my numbers are up. I am actually a bit over my pre-TSM numbers. Work has been stressful. And I spend too much time alone. I think I need an AF day. I really don't want to drink after a couple. Then I change my mind a little later. I think it's just habit.

Found a couple of triggers: work stress and weekend boredom. Work stress is obvious. Weekend boredom is obvious when for four weeks Saturday and Sunday are usually high. It's because I drink longer. I guess I need to make friends and find other activities.

I also think I need to force an alcohol free day per week. It's been long enough.

Hi HF,

It's great that you are recognising your triggers this is a huge step! I think your stress levels will drop naturally as your drinking levels do, you will be sleeping better and therefore waking up more refreshed and energised so you'll be more alert and be able to plan ahead to avoid situations which are stressful. You will also be less hungover and less irritable and more able to remain calm. For the moment recognising that you feel stressed is a big step. The next time it happens, just stop a moment and say to yourself: I'm stressed. I am allowed to feel stressed, then eat something with some protein like a sandwich, drink a glass of water and take a moment to calm yourself.

For the weekend try planning some activities. What did you enjoy doing before booze took over? Cinema? skating? Going to the library? Pick something and invite a friend/s or colleague/s to join you. And afternoon skating followed by a meal sounds like fun to me.

Remember to never let yourself get hungry or thirsty, this not only helps with craving it also keeps our energy levels up and helps with stress.

Curi

I just posted this somewhere else but I'll repeat - sometimes as you say, you start drinking, have a couple, and feel like stopping...but you don't. What really works for me in those situations is to have a forced break from drinking. Like, I have to hop on the subway to go to another bar or go home. Or I go get food somewhere that doesn't serve alcohol. By the time 20 minutes have rolled around, usually my desire to keep drinking has subsided and I feel the gross effects of alcohol. Maybe this will work for you too?

HF remember you are still very early to this game. Patience my dear patience.
Keeping account of you drinking and paying attention to your triggers are important in helping the process. Keep taking the pill and you will get there.

EL's comment about force breaking is a good one. Change up your routine, get off the couch and work on a project, something, anything. I find if I do this I almost always forget about getting the next drink.

Nal-on

Thanks EL and Katie! Last night, I drank two and opened another one. I really didn't want the third one over half way through. I stopped and started watching television. After about 30 minutes, I still didn't want it so I poured it out. I think the change of focus from one activity to another and a break in drinking helps.

So, new policy: drink until I think I have had enough (usually 3-4) and stop. Nothing else for 30 minutes, with a change in activity, if I still want one then I will. I bet I don't.

This weekend I am meeting a hard partying friend. It should be interesting to see how I react. The Golden Rule always applies. That's for my life.

Great! I'm glad that the mini=break worked for you. It really seems to give our brains a chance to sort things out.

Week six is now in the books, as I am about to sleep. I can't believe I am saying that, sleep. The number for the week is 48.67.

I owe ElectraLou a huge debt: if I break and change activities my number is 3-5. Then I am so sleepy. And I am SLEEPING!!! The last three days, I have slept about 25 hours. I never sleep more than 4-6 per day. Usually four. My mind is very clear. I feel better.

If I had started this earlier in the week, my numbers would have ended up around 35 or so. I know I am probably going to have extinction bursts, but I am happy today. I'll worry about those later. Tonight, I will be happy and go to sleep with a slightly intoxicated, mostly sober mind. Like the last three days.

I think I am about a quarter of the way. I am in no rush: TSM will take as long as it takes. I will never be done, but I will be safe soon. And this nightmare will end.

Good night, all! And EL, thanks again!

Well done HF

A good night's sleep makes all the difference!
I'm feeling a bit despondent after my 10 months, but you keep up the good work.

Cheers
Sticky

you are doing great! it's amazing to have those days were you feel good because your mind is clear, your body is healthier because you didn't wreck it the night(s) before, and you know it's only going to get better and better.

nal on!
--pepper

Congrats HF! Glad to be of service. Feeling pretty despondent myself today but it's good to have this community.