Yay- great week for the both of us! I had a 34 unit week. Sweet!

Thanks El and dragonfly, we shall succeed!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

week 8
38 units, not too bad as I spent 4 days away on a wine tour, started 'sipping' at noon.
Saw my GP again, because of other health issues. She asked about my Nal experience, mood, level of drinking etc..she seems quite interested in following my progress.

Well, I am midway through my ninth week and today after a total washout of a weekend drinking myself blind and not really sure why, I am unintentionally AF. I have had a serious "revelation" as to what it must be like to be a normal person and it has caught me off guard.
After work I ran some errands, went shopping, stopped for a nice dinner and finshed up with a grocery shop. I didn't arrive home until 6:30 PM. After I unloaded the car and put my groceries away, I went outside and pulled a few weeds, made a few plans for changes in the garden, came back inside about 8:30 poured myself an iced tea and sat in my favorite chair to check my email and then suddenly it "hit" me...this is what normal people do. For years and years the only thing I ever did after work was to stop and pick up booze, then hurry to get home so I could start guzzling. I did all my errands on weekends between 9 am and 3:30 and made sure I was home in time for "happy" hour, this somehow over time became what I thought was normal life, the change was so slow I didn't see it. I am now sitting here overcome with sadness at the years of life I have wasted and the losses that have occured do to my drinking myself into a stupor nightly (numero uno - my marriage of 25 years) and all the time I had no clue as to how BAD I really was. I see it now and it breaks my heart to remember the young healthy, happy, vibrant woman I once was and realize what she has become.
I am 99% certain TSM will work for me and I am so grateful to have found this site. I am just so very sad I didn't find it sooner.
I do believe when one door closes another one opens and maybe I had to have a big shake up to even think to look for this door to TSM. I have a funny feeling this is only the tip of the iceberg as I progress through this method. I'm sure I will have many more "reflective" moments on this journey.
Just putting thoughts into words, I find it healing.
Nal-on peeps
KS

What a great post Katie. Reflecting on what alcohol has taken from us and learning from it as we move forward is an important part of the process. There is nothing in your life that won't be better with less or no alcohol. I look forward to following your progress.

What an interesting revelation. Although I can empathize with a lot of it (and have many AF days) there is a part of me that can't get away from the ritual of drinking post-work. I grew up in a family where there was always a cocktail before dinner, and then a glass of wine (maybe two, tops) with dinner. That is how my mom and dad and now brother live. They have no issues with drinking as far as I can tell. So for me, THAT is the "normal" way to approach alcohol, not NOT drinking. But it's definitely in the back of my mind and soemtimes at war with TSM...

Thanks SV, I'm thankful I have a place to post. I have been living in denial for so long, it makes me quite sad to think about it.

EL, I grew up in a family of moderate to heavy drinkers and I assumed drinking daily was really quite normal.....it's not. I started drinking daily in my very early twenties, none of my friends did this, but I wasn't really concerned. I should have been, it was a red flag and I ignored it. I knew I drank differently than everyone else, but because I was always a happy drunk I thought I was okay. Well, I was wrong.

week 9

45 and 1 AF. Hmmm, I guess this is when doubt kicks in, nah, not gonna let the numbers worry me one bit. Step by step I'll get there. I realize my numbers are always higher when I get into the wine, not sure if I should try to stay away from it or continue on, hoping that my love of the stuff will be extinguished. I drink pretty much everything, but wine is my guzzling drink.

Hi Katie, I've enjoyed reading your posts and your positivity. Definitely sounds like you'll get there. You've hit the nail on the head when you said this must be when doubt sets in, sure is. Its really important IMO at your stage to focus on the many small victories along the way rather than become fixated by weekly figures. Mind you this "stage" will go on for ages and you may become frustrated/impatient/doubtful but it is during this stage that the nitty gritty of rewiring how your brain reacts to alcohol is happening. Unfortunately it doesn't transpire to figures until way later, but eventually it will. I'm at week 34 and am just starting to see it impact my figures. I think your willingness to change your life after 25 years of drinking is awesome. Continued best wished to you Katie.

deleted, duplicate post