Awesome, EL!! Congat's!!!!

Congrats Dr. EL!!!!

Awesome news!

This just in from Origins Recovery: "TSM DRUNK OBTAINS PHD"

Well done El!

You should be feeling very proud of yourself. I hope the celebrations went well.

Cheers
Sticky

I AM SO HUNGOVER I CAN BARELY MOVE. Holy moses hangovers on nal are baaaaad. So I went out with friends to celebrate getting my PhD (a once in a lifetime trigger, it's true) and had 9 drinks - but they were all hard alcohol and thus it's probably more like...20 units. Something like that. I managed to "drink through" the nal, in a sense, and blacked out towards the end - in my house, fell asleep on the couch and my bf came to get me later - I don't remember that, or getting into my pjs, etc. It's really reminiscent of old patterns and I don't like it. I don't think I did anything terrible (except play music at like 4am, which may have pissed off my roommate lol) but the final hour or so is a bit hazy (I tried to piece it together by looking at what I played on itunes....)
I'm trying not to get too down on myself even though I managed to drink in one night more than the whole last week. I wasn't actively moderating and I guess it's to be expected. I am afraid that the nal isn't "working" anymore, though. Has there ever been an instance of someone for whom the drug initially worked and then stopped working, or am I just crazy??

Oh, on a PS note...Interesting that my idea of celebration (obviously the old, pre TSM brain...) involved drinking enough that today I feel ashamed of myself, not proud. I think this is a big part of my problem drinking - when I am happy or proud, I feel the need to celebrate but at the same time, perhaps subconsciously, take myself down a notch.

E-Lou don't over-analyze it. You would have likely had a different night if you got your PhD 5 months from now but you were only a few weeks into TSM. Your initial drop was due to the suppression of the first drink effect and now the real work begins. Don't hold yourself accountable for much the first 3 months. Your primitive brain is going to want it's reward and its ruthless enough to trick silly old cerebral cortex you into to giving it what it wants until it realizes the reward is not coming. The process takes time but there's a good chance since you responded that it will work for you. A spike in drinking after an initial drop is the norm not the anomaly so in that sense you are very normal in your response to TSM. Congrats on the successful defense, I'm glad no harm came to you last night. Your fatty liver will recover and get healthy again so you can get down to the real business of getting better.

You aren't crazy. This is totally expected. I did the same thing months into TSM at a wedding. Blacked out the evening and pieced it together through receipts... You'll be fine! You have the classic "alcohol blues" where your remorse isn't really related to anything you did, it just comes with that blitz of alcohol's depressant effect on your brain. Congratulations again on the PhD.

Awesome news.

You know a mini blow out is not a problem. You're still firmly committed. You are still in control.

You knew this was a once in a lifetime trigger and so what - you had a great party. No harm done.

Imagine the admonishment you would get if this was an AA message board. The devil would be in your bones!

You know the drill today. Water, rest, all that good stuff.

Make your BF pamper you. It's an order

Good job! Stick with the method and keep posting.