Great news IL!! You're getting there slow but sure. I am sooo happy for you. You deserve it. And you owe it to yourself to be kind & not keep slapping yourself over this. See? It all works out well. Sounds like a great time with the Rocketts, they are really wonderful. Hope weather is good Sunday, from what I hear from Kenny it is almost always perfect weather. How I envy that!! We are getting colder here by the second I hate it & can't wait til we can relocated to a warmer climate. The cold does a number on us both.
So, you have yourself a glorious time! I love to hear that!
Your Friend, JANE

Illuminae, that is great progress. Isn't is fantastic to be with your kids doing birthday and holiday stuff and not let the stress of the situation lead to AL? Sounds like the birthday was a huge success and not sneaking off to get some AL is proof that NAL+Topa is working for you. I've been lurking at MWO reading about your progress there too.

As of Friday I am on week 8 on TOPA and up to the full 300mg. Also, finally got the mail slip yesterday that my Nal has arrived after not having any for a couple of weeks, so I'll be able to pick that up tomorrow. Another very busy weekend with another breakthrough milestone for me.

I don't know if it's the cumulative effect of the Nal extension and the addition of the Topa or what, but I feel I've really turned a corner and I'll use the events of Friday as my strongest example. Had a holiday party Friday afternoon that started at 1:30 pm. A lunch buffet and white elephant gift exchange that is a famous good time that lasts for several hours and gets pretty crazy. (I skipped one year because I was embarrassed about the previous year, by the way.) But anyway, I went this year just excited to have fun, no worries about getting stupid or anything. Anyway, had a very pleasant time and had 2 1/2 glasses of wine over 3 hours. When it was over I had no trouble walking away from that 1/2 glass that was still sitting on the table. I had a full hour before I had to pick up my kids. I can tell you WITHOUT QUESTION that had not been on any of these treatments I would have either gone to the bar in this restaurant (either alone or convinced some like minded people to join me), or gone down the road on my own to spend that hour squeezing in one or two more drinks. Then I would have picked up my kids, gone home and quickly gotten ready for my date with my husband. Instead I picked up the kids and got a short cat nap while waiting for my husband to pick up the sitter and get home.

** Short intermission: By the way at the 250mg dose plus all that I've had going on over the past week I have been really tired and falling asleep a lot! **

So hubs and I went to a nice dinner, ordered a bottle of wine of which he drank the majority. Then we went shopping for a while. Then back home. at home we watched one, 1 hour show and I had one more glass of wine from a bottle that had been left from a previous night. Decided to open a new one and watch one more one hour show. DH went to bed. I finished the show, but did not finish the glass of wine. Went to bed with an almost completely full bottle of wine and a half full glass of wine!!!!

Now dear friends, that whole day is huge progress for me. I may never be "normal." I may still drink nearly every day. But if I can stop after starting? HUGE!! If I can leave a glass or bottle behind? Also HUGE!!! (I did it numerous times this week!!!) That is some type of a cure that I will accept!! My goal was never sobriety. Never thought that would work for me anyway, especially in my marriage. So I'll take that and hope it sticks. I mean, if my husband never has to pick me up off the floor from one of his holiday parties, I'll take it. If a stranger never has to drive me home and to pick up my kid from school, I'll most definitely take that. If I never have to pretend like I remember what I called someone up and said to them the night before, well I'll take that too.

Thank you all for your caring and support.

Bravo, bravo my friend!!! So very happy for you! You done good & me proud of you hurray!!!
Your' Friend,
JANE

As I mentioned before I'm at the full recommended dose of Topamax and back on the Nal. the combo really seems to do the trick for me. the Nal completely saps the cravings and the topa is really helping with the habit part where I was pushing through. I just can't/don't want to do it. I'm starting to go to bed at a decent time (most nights). Went to a really nice party on Friday night and was driven by social interaction, not how much booze was in my glass.

The most interesting thing lately is that pre-booze domination in my life I used to have trouble sleeping because my brain does not shut off when I try to sleep. Well now I am really tired at night because of the topa and the amount that I still do drink so going to sleep is not a problem, but I simply CANNOT sleep in! I am up at 6-7 am even on the weekend with my mind buzzing with all the stuff I want to get done. My house has never been cleaner and my kids have never seen so much of me LOL! I need naps though!

Illum, it sounds as if you are in danger of becoming a model member of society. We may have to nominate you for mother/wife of the year award. Congrats on your progress.

Excellent!!
You are also an inspiration for those on the forum who are feeling down and out because they feel like NAL isn't working for them. Bottom line is finding what works--and it seems like you did

So weird, I haven't been on this forum in weeks and logged in last night to see my progress thread at the top thanks to your comment St. Jude. I'll post an update that's mostly cut and pasted from my posting over at My Way Out so I'll apologize if some of it doesn't make sense. I just spend more time over there these days.

12/18: I went to a party last night with friends from my husband's work and had a fabulous time! connected with some friends I hadn't seen for a while and also met a new absolutely wonderful couple - a new gal my husband hired recently and her husband. They fit into the group very well (we all give each other a lot of crap so you have to be able to take it and dish it out and they were troopers!) Also the husband and I have lived in a lot of the same places so it was really fun talking to him. In any case I only had one mixed drink (a Kahlua and milk - haven't had one of those in YEARS) and three wines over about 5 hours so that was really good. I was much more interested in the conversation and joking than how full my glass was.

Spent the afternoon wrapping presents and figuring out how to fit them in a suitcase for the trip to Iowa. Also went to my second appt. at the gym with my new trainer. Yes! that finally has worked out.

So other new thing... way back in the day before drinking I used to have trouble sleeping because my brain would go into hyper drive with all the things I had to do, etc. Well since I still drink in the evening and am so tired at night that is not happening, however... Since things seem to be working and I am drinking less I cannot sleep in anymore. This past week I wake up anywhere between 5-7 am and cannot go back to sleep thinking of all the things I have to or want to do! Case in point, look at these long posts!!!!! Crazy huh?

12/25: MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL!!!

I haven't been on here since before we left for Iowa. Been having a wonderful time, white Christmas and all.

Been very moderate until last night, but even then like you said Houtx I was moderate in the presence of others as far as the party we went to last night with my husband's cousins who are notorious for their wild parties and crazy drinking (three wild women who all drink too much!!). So I was good there but then did come back to his sister's house and polish off a bottle of wine while playing Santa. But it was pretty intentional. the prior 2 nights I was very very good and I'm so curious if his sister and mom have noticed the difference. Especially since the night before my hubs got drunk and was kind of a jerk again.

Well I'm in the midst of two VERY EXTREMELY SPOILED families here and it's pretty spectactular.

Despite my reluctance in wanting to come on this trip we're really having a wonderfully magical time. Hope you all are as well!!!!

12/27: Just a quick note as I have to run. Been doing well. Drinking of course but so far I have been okay. Gotten tipsy and stayed up kinda late but I haven't done anything stupid. My husband's cousins came over last night, the ones that had the wild party on xmas eve, and one of them told us she totally forgot the end of the night. That used to be me!! It was nice to have someone else taking that spotlight!!!

We're off for our 3rd and last family Christmas dinner and then we can relax for the rest of the visit thank goodness!!!

I head back to California on New Years day.

12/28: I have been sticking with the 250mg even on vacation. Still getting some of the tinglies and twitchies but seems to be worth it. I get sleepy so go to bed when I need to. Tonight is interesting. I got sleepy but then got over it. I had a REALLY FUN DAY!!

First of all I finally slept in a bit. 8am which was pretty good compared to the rest of the trip. We all got ready and headed out around noon and had lunch and then went to an old roller skating rink where a friend of DH's works who he used to work with way back in the day when he was in high school and beyond... kind of weird that they are in their 40's and this guy still does it but whatever. It was a blast. It was our family, my Sister-In-Law's Family, another close friend of ours and her daugher all skating for 3 hours and playing all the games, etc. Then Our friend took all the kids to her hotel for an overnight "play date" for swimming/hot tubbing, playing their video games, etc. and we went out to a movie and a nice dinner... very fun. Anyway, my point was that we got home and watched another movie and drank some more and everyone went to bed.

I was going to go to bed but then I went through the whole routine of washing and brushing and moisturinging (used to skip all that when I went to bed drunk btw) and then by then my hubs was already snoring like crazy and I decided so see if anyone had posted and check my facebook, etc. etc... and all that is not extremely unusual.... EXCEPT

I might have got another drink to do all this in the past. Tonight I didn't do that. I just didn't feel like that, I just wanted to check in with all this stuff and there is no drink next to me.

Well, I had better go to sleep soon because I have sworn to a beautiful 7 year old girl that we WILL build a snow man tomorrow before the snow melts!!!!

Wondering how everyone is planning to spend New Years and if it is exciting or stressful???

Okay guys, long update. Bottom line I am still drinking but doing good, in control, no stupidity, blackouts or anything, and that's really all I wanted. We'll see how things change once I get home. I hope everyone is having a great holiday and getting what they want out of this treatment!!!

Had a really fun New Year's. Stayed home and watched the kids (mine cousins and friends) instead of going out and had a movie marathon. It was a blast! Had Hot Dogs and Mac 'n Cheese for dinner, Popcorn and Candy with the shows, cuddling with blankets, etc. I did drink a little too much, but what the heck, it was new years. I did make my kids a couple of promises that they made sure to remind me of today - the most significant one was to buy them Rock Band for the Wii. Well I was going to do that anyway, just gonna have to do it sooner I suppose.

Got up and packed and came home to Cali today thank goodness! We had such a wonderful time but it is so nice to be HOME!!!!!

I hope everyone is doing well and had a good New years and didn't overdo it too much. Or even if you did it's not the end of the world. Tomorrow is the next day of a brand new year!

Peace and love to you all,

Illuminae

Hi Illuminae,
Thanks for finding my thread and reaching out. Hub and I are indeed doing this together. I did over 3 years completely sober and he did stretches and then would have crazy binges. His drinking was my top concern because it spirals out of control. Mine was damaging, but less dangerous. Neither one of us like AA, my Hub in fact has a strong dislike for the organization, we have hunted together to find other solutions. I found a website called wqd.netwarriors.org. It was my rock for the three plus years that I quit. Hub was a member too and drifted in and out of the community as he would return to drinking. There is not a lot of support for using The Sinclair Method over there. I met Mario from this site through that online community. We have been "journal" buddies for 3 years and I watched her success with this method. Both hub and I have followed the research on various drugs and decided that he MUST try it or his life was on a course for disaster. I was unsure because I had become happy with sobriety. I just did not think I could stay sober while my partner drank freely in my home.

I hope your hub comes around gives it a try. Share our story as couple who drank too much and tried lots of things until we found THe Sinclair Method. My Hub had a really hard time dealing with friends and colleagues as a nondrinker. Naltrexone gave him back his freedom to drink with friends without risking his job and relationships.

Happy New Year and good luck!