No problem. I'm in my 5th week. I was just mentioning that my 4 month anniversary will be Christmas day. Joe was just reminding me that not all folks are cured by then and that 6-12 months is more realistic. This is good information to have because I get impatient if my time frames are not met as expected. I want to be optimistic but realistic. Not always easy to do.

After one AF day, I wasn't planning to drink the next day but my hubby did so I figured I'd have Nal and a couple of drinks. I finished one, which tasted terrible and the opted to finish the night with hot chocolate. I give TSM credit for this. This is not how I usually behave.

Now my hubby is out of town for the week. so I'm sure it will change but I can feel a big difference to how I usually respond.

I'll check in mid-week and expect my numbers this week to be higher - but I do feel like things are different than they were before.

BTDT

Hey BTDT - One drink then a hot chocolate. Brilliant. Isn't it wonderful when things like that happen. Not sure about you, but that would never have happened to me before TSM. I could drink "corked" wine if that was what was all in the house. I remember one night drinking half a bottle of port that was SOOOO old it had mould on the cork. LOL. Didn't matter what it tasted like...I just needed the hit.

Hope you are having a great week.

Kiwi.

Hi all,

This has been a difficult week on the TSM front. I binged at both the beginning and the end of the week. Up until now I had managed to avoid the heavy bingeing that I would do but it appears it is back - although not as scary and dangerous. My first binge was 3 days, 40 units and my second one only lasted two days with 25 units. I guess that is progress.

In between, I had one AF day and one day with only one glass of wine that I didn't like and switched to hot chocolate - that was exciting.

My history has not been daily drinking but abstinence (sometimes a few days, sometimes years) followed by heavy and scary bingeing.

I've been drinking most days since starting TSM for two reasons: 1) I was having fun feeling like a more normal drinker in the early weeks; and 2) to get a jump start on the program. But, I was wondering if I might be better served to go back to abstinence and only drink when the craving is strong and, of course, with my Nal. During my bingeing days I've been taking 50 mg twice so I'm sure the hangover is being made worse by the extra Nal.

I really want this to work but I'm having a hard time feeling good. I've even had fleeting thoughts about heading back to AA and trying to go full abstinent again. Not ready to throw in the towel but I thought it might help to reconsider my approach.

Any thoughts? Thank you all for your help and support. It means so much!!! Take care, BTDT

I should also mention that my #1 trigger is my husband travelling and he has travelled more during the month of September then any other month in our married lives!! Grrr. BTDT

Ive had somewhat of a similar history. Binges followed by abstinances,sometimes days, weeks and in the latter period prior ot nal, years. When I started tsm it alarmed me slightly that even at my worst times I would only binge at weekends but had now started drinking mid week a few weeks into tsm. I decided to go with the flow somewhat and if I had a craving I poped a nal and drank, some weeks I would wait for the weekend other weeks I would drink most nights. It slowly changed a couple of months ago and now Im typically abstinant for at least 4 days with small consumption during the weekend compared to pre nal.

Your hubby is away, it was always a trigger and it still is. As long as you are safe I would not worry about drinking through the trigger.

Stick with it.

Kiwi,

I've done the port wine thing too. Nasty and hard to believe. Hopefully, this is a thing of the past!

Mario,

Thank you for your feedback. The morning after bingeing tends to be a hard one but once the day goes on and I start to feel better it is easier to take a step back. I'll stick with it I think I'll add some more abstinence days, for my own sanity. I've realized that some days I've been drinking just because its there and not necessarily because I had much of a craving. I want to take advantage of more of these nights...like tonight, I'm heading off to bed AF.

Thanks for sharing your experiences. It helps more than you know!!!

Good night to all!! BTDT

Hi all,

I wish I could say things are great but it seems like things are getting harder

I just came off another 2 day bender and I'm feeling worse than ever. Plus, the pharmacy gave me a different looking generic pill and I swear I'm going through the side effects adjustment all over again. I am starting to have my doubts about whether I can stick with this. I'm only 6 weeks along and I'm already burned out. I so badly want this to turn around but I feel like I'm using TSM to justify my crazy binges. Of course, I feel terrible when I'm done. The first few weeks I drank much more moderately than I have the past two. I hope this is just a spike and not where I'm going to stay for the upcoming weeks. My body can't handle it. Abstinence is looking mighty good right now - I'm certainly taking tonight AF. I couldn't even drive past the wine shop without feeling ill.

Enough whining. With Nal, my binges are still much more manageable and I don't drink as much as I used to. This is progress. I've also been religious about taking my Nal and taking it again if I'm drinking all day. I just need to remember that each time I drink I'm getting closer to my cure. Sigh.

My biggest trigger is my husband's traveling and he's been traveling a ton. He's home now for the foreseeable future. This should help!!

I'll be posting my 6 week numbers on Tuesday....BTDT

Wow,

Today is a much better day!!

After yesterday's AF hangover day and with no Nal in my system, I feel great!! I decided to practice some selective positive reinforcement by riding my horse through an open cornfield on this gorgeous day and following that up with some great food.

I'm hoping to take another AF today. I'm joining my 7-year old on his class field trip and can't afford a hangover on a bus filled with small children Going AF is the best way to avoid overdoing it. If I'm AF today, I'll end week 6 with only 39 units. Better than last week.

Wish me luck!! BTDT

It is so reassuring to 'meet' so many folks who so very much want to JUST drink normally. I know some of my friends who do drink normally, simply don't understand, they say "just quit". And I do and have done many times, then someone will say just have one. I do that, that lasts a while and I'm back to this again! I'm praying to be cured!

For years now I've said I am not an alcoholic I just abuse alcohol (and my body) sometimes. I seem more inconsistent than most here... or am I? I don't crave, for that I count my blessings. What bugs the life out of me is I never can trust myself when I will overdrink. I can be so normal then blow it like I did Saturday. I'm two months in and your posts are giving me hope.

THANKS!!

HEY BTDT and Inspired,

I bet what you'll find in a few months is that drinking starts to sound as interesting as attending a conference on the positive role guardrails have in the existence of the US Highway system circa 1965. Thats not to say that you won't drink anyways, but I truly believe it is the beginning of the end of some sort of extinction burst.

On another note, I think it important to note that I am not crazed and out of my mind with craving and drinking without NAL. Yes, I drank 11 units last night, BUT, I don't think that I'm backsliding too badly. Or better put, yes, the insurance is gone adn I'm drinking more, but I feel confident that once I get NAL again I will get back on track relatively quickly.

Drinking still doesn't hold the thrill or grip it once had. I attribute that to the neural pathways having shrunken. But as we know the brain is complex and its trying to figure out all teh history I had with this bloody vice and trying to get me re-addicted. I honestly think I'm on the last stretches which is why I was sooooo disappointed when I ran out and more importantly didn't plan for it. Bad Jim Bad Jim

Sorry Hijack, My Best, jim