Sitcky - Let me add my congrats as well. Really great to hear about your progress and your thoughts.

Hi everyone

I'd love to say this past week was as successful as the previous 2, but I'd be lying if I did! Was all set for 3 days AF in a row Mon-Wed as Thurs-Sun were all drinking. 2 days I only had 1 or 2. It was a long weekend and we were away for some of it. Yes, I know EL, ANOTHER holiday! One night hubby poured me a drink, the last glass in a bottle of wine. I was going to say no thanks, but didn't. It wouldn't have been hard. Wednesday just gone hubby went out fishing and him going out in the evening was a huge trigger for me. For years the only time I drank was when he was out, and then only occasionally as I was in AA. Sometimes I kept it secret, others I got sprung. Anyway, had far too much and regretted it yesterday.

Went to an info evening at our eldest's new high school last night, which was enjoyable and informative despite the heat. All the "Masters" were up on stage in their suits and ties sweating it out with no aircon. Auckland Boys' Grammar is quite an institution. Despite being a public/state school, it has the highest academic record in the country, has produced the most All Blacks and is right up there with the top private (expensive) boys school in Auckland at a fraction of the price. It is quite an honour to have Ryan there and our youngest will go there in 3 years' time. It was drinks and meet the form teacher after. Only had one.

Tonight it is meet the teacher (even though I already know her) at our youngest's school and a school picnic with sausage sizzle on the field. Must dash as I need to be there soon!

Cheers
Sticky

Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF Week 52: 25.5, 3AF
Week 53: 23.5, 4AF Weeks 54 - 56: 25, 3AF
Week 57: 30, 2AF, Week 58: 35, 1AF
Week 59: 16, 5AF, Week 60: 20, 4AF
Week 61: 25, 2AF

Heya Sticky!!!

I know, where was Nal years back, thank God we have it now. Certainly feeling like I have a new lease on life and greatful I have found all the TSMer's. You're doing great and love reading your posts too. I was thinking of staying home again today from work, coming online, changing my thoughts to positive ones, I'm heading for the shower and going to make it a great day.

Onward, have a great weekend!!!

Zippy Smiles

Hi Sticky,

You always make NZ sound amazing - holidays, rugby, boats, "sausage sizzles." Sounds like a great time.

I wouldn't worry too much about overdoing it a bit when your husband was out for the night. You said it yourself - this is a huge trigger. Who knows, it may be the very last one you'll have to extinguish, especially because it seems to be one that was deeply reinforced. Truth be told, it sounds like you have to really search for any negatives lately. You've made a ton of progress during your long journey, Sticky.

Congrats to your family on your sons' academic achievements. You must be proud!

-H

Sticky, it's great to read you're doing so well! So there are still a few potholes...sounds like the roller coaster is really smoothing out for you.

Ah, yes, aren't we lucky that TSM exists. I was just about EL's age when I first decided I must "do something", and AA was the only game in town. I don't have strong feelings about AA either way, as I really didn't participate but very briefly - mainly, as a way to "officially" say I was going to QUIT DRINKING, which I did. But now TSM, wow! Here we all are, TSM Pioneers .

Do you have Groupons in NZ? I was thinkin' between you & Zippy, maybe we could rent a plane, and save some $$ that way. A BIG plane, or maybe Zippy could run a shuttle service to Hawaii. Your thoughts???

Chrissie

Hi Chrissie et al

Thanks for making me smile thru the tears. The last 2 days have been absolute s**t! More of the usual - worrying about money, or should I say lack of it. All very well for hubby to decide he wanted a month on the boat, but now we come back to not being able to pay 2 large accounts that are outstanding since Oct, grovelling to the bank manager to pay wages (which I made hubby do b/c it stresses me out so much) and the one painful client who has owed us money for an entire year. Now I find out that the last of what he owes we are probably not going to get b/c that is going to the architect who ended up being the middle man. For 16 years we have been talking about adding another storey on to our house so we can have the office separate and possibly a flat which will provide some income for our retirement. We have no savings - everything is borrowed from the bank and all we ever seem to do is borrow more. But hubby is always so overly optimistic about his/our earning potential that I thought perhaps we would be able to add on this year. Now I see that not only is that unlikely, but to decrease the financial pressure we will probably have to sell our boat and his car.
Tues (Valentines Day) was our 14th wedding anniv and 19 years together. It went OK and I had a nice if slighly drunk night with my book club friends. Since then it's gone majorly downhill! The only positive thing I can glean from all this is that last night I didn't have to drink over it. Tonight I am and no doubt that will make me feel worse!
Will update guesstimated figures later, but it was only 3 days AF. So much for the New Year's resolution!

Yes, NZ is a beautiful country with only 4.4 million people and only 1.5 million or so in Auckland. I always used to appreciate how green and unpolluted it was in my flying days. Especially coming back from places like Tokyo, London and LA where if you blow your nose at the end of the day it comes out black. UGH! But life here, like anywhere, is not immune to stress and I am very poor at handling it!!

I don't actually know what a groupon is, but I'm guessing it's a group discount/coupon? Air NZ had group travel discounts, but since no-one else in NZ that i know of is actually doing TSM (apart from kiwichick who was very helpful in phoning my hubby, but now never posts and didn't want to meet me in case i broke her anonymity) it would be just a normal airfare. Despite my money worries, I'm still interested! If we sell out boat we would have some money to spend on holidays. Not all of us to go to Hawaii, bugger it. Oh, to lie on the beach, ride in limos and shop at the Ala Moana shopping centre....those were the days!

Take care everyone
Sticky

Hi Sticky,

Just to let you know, there is another NZer. I'm based in Wellington. I have read your story and progress, and can honestly say that you have helped me through the rocky times.

Anyway, in a nutshell, started NAL in July 2011, when I was drinking two bottles of wine a day, sometimes more. Jan 5 is when I just stopped drinking. Well, between then and now I've probably gone through three bottles of wine - over six weeks, I think we can call that healthy levels. The demon is truly out of my head - I have no craving to drink at all, really, although there are some habitual issues I still have to get through before claiming the "CURED" tag.

You have helped me, along with many other members of this board, and I thank you for that. If there's anyway I can return the favour, drop me a line ...

c

Hi all

Sorry to bore you all with my money worries. Proceeded to get drunk and felt suicidal so that was a great way to cope with the stress. NOT!! And who am I trying to kid talking about going to Hawaii?! Maybe next year, but not this one.

Am only guessing my units. Anyway, onwards and upwards. It's back to my resolution of fewer drinking days than AF days.

Android - thanks for posting. It's so cool to have a fellow Kiwi on board. I am envious of your success. Well done! Do you have a thread on here? Am off to have a look now.

Am skipping my AA meeting today in favour of a nana nap as I am really tired. No prizes for guessing why! I talked to my friend/ex sponsor about feeling ambivalent about the meetings. Still feel I should keep them up so I have face to face contact with other alcoholics. Many of the women there I consider as friends and I am allowed to talk to people about TSM outside of the meeting. One day I might get some more recruits.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Cheers
Sticky


Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF Week 52: 25.5, 3AF
Week 53: 23.5, 4AF Weeks 54 - 56: 25, 3AF
Week 57: 30, 2AF, Week 58: 35, 1AF
Week 59: 16, 5AF, Week 60: 20, 4AF
Week 61: 25, 2AF, Week 62: 25, 3AF

Hi Sticky,

So sorry to hear about the monetary woes - no one wants to deal with that. If it makes you feel any better, I was at a point 2 years ago where I constantly lived paycheck to paycheck and at one point had to cash in a jar of coins and borrow money from an ex-gf just to make it through a weekend. I was spending so much cash on booze/going out/traveling, and the saddest part was that I was actually making decent money at the time.

I'm sure everything will stabilize if you just stick with it. If your husband seems overly optimistic, maybe he has some tricks up his sleeve. If I understand correctly, it's still the NZ summer and this is the season when you make your bread and butter, right?

On the bright side, 25/3 is still a very nice week in the big scheme of things. That's barely over the limit of "normal" drinking!

I hope you're feeling better today.

-H

TGIF*, Sticky,

Uh, oh...you've "been there, done that", seein's it's early Saturday in NZ (I'm paying attention, at least intermittently )

Whatever is bothering any of us is fare game here. Money stresses are universal, and we all sure understand that one. I, too, echo Hesster's noting that 25/3 are nice numbers, so you are persevering despite your ongoing Real Life, good job, m'dear!

Chrissie

*Thank God It's Friday...I assume that is said around the world? And a very popular sentiment, too!