You're really doing great, EL. Congrats!

Hi EL,

Congrats on handling the wedding so well! And sorry about the eggs problem and resulting food poisoning. Bummer..... Anyway as you told me supportively last week, give yourself a break and forge ahead! You are doing great!

Weekly recap time: coming in at 20 units. I have the sinking suspicion that I am under counting my units when I get liquor at a bar, but I am being consistent, so I think that's the most important thing. This week is much better than last week (no wedding festivities) but still had one night of 10 units and staying up very late. It was on a Saturday, so no massive harm done, but Sunday was my boyfriend's birthday and I was not 100% for it. Thankfully, he just wanted to watch the (taped) rugby semifinals on tv and canoodle, so that was fine, but I feel bad that I did not take him out to dinner as I had promised. I will make it up to him this week. Part of the problem is that I cannot always tell when or how hungover I will be. I stayed out late Saturday night but stopped drinking and moved to water for like, the last 2.5 hours I was out, so I went to bed feeling fine. And yet woke up horridly hungover. Basically anything more that 5 units is dangerous territory - I might NOT get a hangover, but I might do. Which is why I'd really like to cap all but the most special occasions at 5-6 units a night. I really want to get rid of these 10 -12 unit nights grrr. I think I need to start exercising some control to get these nights down. Now that nothing horrible happens (black outs, bad behavior, massive depression, etc) my IMMEDIATE motivation for changing is kind of flagging. But I need to remember that spending a day hungover every week is just not healthy, for my body or my mind.
Another interesting development (but one I don't like) : the past few weeks, I have been thinking about drinking and looking forward to drinking a LOT. Kind of like old times. the difference is that now MOST of the time, I look forward to drinking, have 3 drinks, enjoy them, and am done. Whcih is great. But the renewed enthusiasm is kind of worrying me. I felt like I was going on the path towards indifference and now I've taken a wrong turn. I wonder what could be causing this?

Hi E-Lou,

Your numbers continue to look great. You're killing it.

As for "looking forward to drinking A LOT" - I think this is actually excellent. You're probably looking forward to drinking because you can actually "handle" drinking sessions now, so your boozing nights have became much less worrisome and therefore...more enjoyable! Drinking nights should be something you can be enthusiastic about now. I think most normal people feel this way.

Keep it going!

-H

your numbers are great, so i wouldn't stress too much. maybe your brain is trying to get you to drink more and your numbers are about to take another dip. indifference may be around the corner! i also want to get the "big" night out to lower numbers. even though my 6 units on saturday was not too bad and some of the people, who don't have drinking problems (that i know of), were drinking more. i just can't handle the hangover. it wasn't horrible, but it was there and i too, stopped drinking al and drank a lot of water. i don't know if it's a lower tolerance or the nal - probably a combo - but i just don't want to lose that next day.

cheers to a week of lower units on the fun nights and still having fun!

Hey Lou -- I get what you're saying about not wanting to look fwd to drinking. I think that, itself, is a goal worth looking forward to! Certainly is one of mine. And it's nowhere in sight at present!

But from all I've read on this board and in your thread, it may be too soon for you to get to the indifference stage. Or maybe you're going through a mid-season extinction burst, but in slow motion?

So, keep that goal but don't worry if your cravings amp up a bit in the meantime. After all, you're the prophet of patience on this board!

Have you given any thought to bumping up the dose to 75mg as an experiment for a short duration. Just to rule out that you may not be covered by 50mg. I know you have read some TSMers who have has success in doing so. Just a thought. (However, truth be told: 20u is respectable number for a week. I am only considering your report of significant craving at almost 7 months on Nal).

I'm not sure I would consider it just because I still get side effects on 50 and even 25mgs. 50 still makes tired, sometimes irritable and nauseous, and leaves me a bit blah the next day. I sort of feel like I wouldn't be functional with 75mg. It's strange though I felt like for a few weeks the cravings were really going away, and I was either not drinking or drinking purely out of circumstance. The past two weeks though I have felt the old pull again. I'm more tempted to think it's another extinction burst than anything else...

El,

It is interesting what you are going through. I think you are wise to see if this is another extinction phase before changing things up. I am hoping you are pushing through to a new level.

EoB

Hey Electra! You just keep on behaving your way into new thinking. Those thoughts will surely shift here and there along the way.

I wonder if you had complete preoccupation regarding your drinking. More than a craving, I like to think of my preoccupied mind marinating in the cravings. I definitely am preoccupied less and less.

So as our brain chemistry changes, so shall our thoughts... right? It makes sense to me!

Congrats on your progress!

Brrrrrr, Alaska'a getting colder,

Ketchikan1