Hi everyone

More of the same this week - still not under the 20 units. Actually, I have had fewer AF days since the trip down country where we drank wine every night! I am determined to have 3 or 4 AF days this week.

At least I haven't behaved like a total idiot for a while. I can still scoff a bottle of wine no trouble unfortunately, but the awful behaviour is hopefully on the way out.

Take care everyone!

Cheers
Sticky

Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF

Sometimes the holding pattern on TSM feels really discouraging...but just remember how terrible things were before tSM! And how making a total fool of yourself while drinking (general you, not YOU! was a common occurence. At least now, even when we get too drunk, it's just too drunk.

Hi Sticky, being under 20 units isn't the be all and end all. Your patience and tenacity are admirable. What i mean is, you're doing a good job hope you're having a good week

Hiya Sticky!!

First of all.. your progress is absolutely notable-- you are on definitely on your way!!!! I must say-- it has taken a great long while for the both of us..............

But I double dog dare you to now switch to any other kind of booze other than white wine, your choice-- in fact choose ANY other drinkable substance!!

Bourbon, tequila, light beer, scotch??? I am challenging you to drink but ANYTHING OTHER than you are used to.......

What any-other could you convert to to change up your brain???

Now's the time,

Ketchikan1

Hey Ketch and everyone

Yes, converting from white (or red, which I like too) would be a good idea. So far I've only done that with beer, with varying success. It's a timely suggestion as hubby bought a small bottle of Jack Daniels a coupla days ago & stuck it in the fridge (with the coke in the pantry - don't ask me why!) My least fave drinks are whiskey or rum, unless we're talking pina coladas which i haven't had for years. Also I am unusual in that i do not like Coke. (a Cola - haven't tried the other type of coke!) This week was more about Af days and I did 4 AF nights, practically 5 days AF. OK, so it was 4 days AF. A year ago I thought nothing of 4 months AF. Have I made progress? Have been thinking on this a lot in the past few sleepless days, but will post further on this when not pissed! You can probably tell, but this is the 6th day. Sozzled again!! Bought some sparkling rose which hubby had some of before going out and am now drinking white wine. Still haven't gotten into those spritzers! But I did say no to the JD even tho' i was tempted. And didn't go out and buy wine last night when i wanted to b/c hubby was drinking his JD. I've been concentrating on EL's (& hubby's) thoughts of how much drinking will stuff up how we feel the next day. It is sooo true. This time of year is the most stressful for us having our own businesses and i'm sure it is stressful for you all too. Bear in mind that this is also the start of summer holidays in NZ and end of the school year. Everyone wants their landscapes/pools finished B4 Xmas and many clients have no idea how long to allow (or how much money) for these type of projects. There are some cool things on with end of year school stuff and parties. Our elder son is off to secondary school next year after 8 years at the same primary/intermediate school. He is hoping for an academic prize and he, hubby & I have a leavers' dinner and social next week which should be fun. Also 2 former best buddies of mine are visiting briefly from overseas before Xmas. So there's stuff to look forward to but at the same time I start to count down the days til we go away sailing weeks beforehand because i'm so poor at handling stress. i am going thru one of my sleeping badly phases. These used to happen with alarming regularity - every month to 6 weeks. Since starting TSM it has been far less often, but it may have more to do with the fact that i am pre-menopausal!! I generally get tired earlier at night. I wake many nights with night sweats and have done so on & off for several years. At least I don't yet have the hot flushes/flashes during the day like some of my friends and rellies. With this hormonal upheaval and doing TSM I will not be trying again to give up my anti-depressants in a hurry. Last time was a disaster which led me back to drinking. At this rate i will be on them for life. It could be worse...

Need to go and tuck 10-year-old in. Sorry about the rave! But it was only about 20 Units this week. YAY!!!!

Cheers
Sticky


Week 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF

Hi Sticky,

I'm so glad that you post your stats because I can see that you ARE making progress. I know it's slow, and I admire you so much for sticking with it, but the numbers are going in the right directon and no, nothing in your post looks drunk, really.

Have you tried some moderation techniques like eating something and drinking a large glass of water before you start drinking? Try it, it really works. Take your Nal and while you are waiting for the hour to be up, eat a ham sandwich for example, and drink a large glass of water just before you drink. Another thing you could try instead of totally changing drinks is to change your brand of wine, try a white wine that you don't like as much as your usual wine, for example if you like sweet, try dry or vice versa, it might be worth a try.

Christmas is coming, we're all probably going to be drinking (and eating) more than usual, that's just the way it is at this time of year so try not to get discouraged, it's only a few weeks and then we'll be back to normal.

Would you think of trying Melatonin for better sleep? It is a hormone synthesised in the pineal gland of the brain that regulates our sleep-circadian rhythm. I have always been a bad sleeper, ever since I was a child, I have tried various types of sleeping pills, they work but I'd rather not take them, I recently tried Melatonin and I find it more effective, in fact, my sleeping patterns have really regularised with Melatonin, I start feeling sleepy and yawning at the same time every night now and I wake up at the same time every day, even at the weekends. Also, a good tip for better sleep is to reduce the amount of light (and noise) around you for an hour or so before you go to sleep, this helps us produce our own natural melatonin.

Curi

Hi Curi

Thanks so much for your post. I was a flight attendant half my life time ago and I did purchase melatonin once (in the U.S) It almost had the same effect as sleeping pills in that I felt groggy in the morning. I am talking way back in the 80's tho' and don't know if it can be purchased over the counter in NZ. I might check with our pharmacist. Having more AF days would perhaps get me back to "normal". If i over-did it Sat/Sun and went AF during the week, perhaps that would make me semi-normal?? For f***ks sake - when i am ever going to get over what others think of me? I am 50 years old and i strongly recommend to those of you younger to not worry about what other people think of you. It has had far too much of an impact on my life & it is just bullshit.
I am drunk but am very grateful for this website. And for AA which saved my life for the 16 years or so prior.

Thanks guys
Come & visit me in NZ - will show u how beautiful it is

Cheers
Nicky

Yeah, worrying about what other people think is a waste of time. And in general, I've noticed that people don't have a great idea of what you are up to anyways. As in, people didn't notice if I drank less or more, really, once their mind was made up that I was a partier and a drinker, that was that. Enh, maybe in 10 years I'll change their minds? LOL
Good luck Sticky. Keep hanging in there - I know this will work to you, it must!!

Hi guys

Thanks everyone for your support and suggestions. Ketch - I was wrong when I said I'd only switched to beer. I am less likely to get drunk if I stick to beer. Occasionally I'll have pre-mixed G & Ts or vodka drinks. Usually that's just made me want to drink wine afterwards. I know I should try spritzers, or Buck's fizz (bubbly & orange.) Curi -I do often have water before alcohol and I often drink either with or after dinner. I could be more consistent tho'!!

Last night actually drank without nal - naughty!! Took youngest down the road to see a tree being lit. Didn't expect there to be FREE wine as part of the festivities. Of course I bumped into heaps of people I know through the boys' school. Anyway I did only have about 1.5 glasses and was happy to go home. Or was it b/c 10-yr-old was worn out and wanted to go to bed?! Nor did I open wine now stashed away for Xmas pressies or hubby's JD when I got home. Went to bed and forced myself to get up early. Plan to take nal tonight if I drink. There is a massive free concert in the Domain which we can walk to so may take a picnic.

Several years ago I actually did a sleep course. Basically it covered what i already knew, but with mathematical calculations that i was quicker at than the teachers! If you have trouble sleeping you should restrict the time you spend in bed - stay up late and/or get up early. If you lie awake for more than 20 mins you should get up and read/get online/watch TV. It's easier said than done when you feel exhausted, but it does work. Like you Curi I don't like to take sleeping pills as they are addictive, but very occasionally I get just a few.

My year is up in a few days & I have been thinking a lot on my progress. I guess it's almost like what a woman said in my token AA meeting last week about her recovery - 2 steps forward and one back. I have made progress but I still drink alcoholically far more often than I would like. No way do I want to go back to 3 AA meetings a week and abstinence though. My aim is to get into drinking only 3 nights a week max and if possible LESS than a bottle of wine or equivalent each time. That would mean max 15-21 drinks per week depending on if you count NZ units or US units. That I could live with and hopefully after more time it would reduce further. It is a "healthy" limit, though to be honest at 165cm (5'5") and 51kg (8st) even that's probably too much. But hey, I expect I've shortened my life span with all my drinking anyway!!
The key is to live in the moment, not regret the past nor worry about the future. If only it were easy.

Actually feeling really good today as not hungover like yesterday. Only 2 weeks left to hols (oops I mean vacaction). Hubby has decided to take a whole 4 weeks this year. Yay!!!! The weather has been fantastic so hope it continues for sail north to Bay of Islands. 13-yr-old wants to stay home, but of course he can't! The kids get a bit bored with long sailing days and miss the TV and PC's. But we go ashore for walks, games on the beaches, swim, eat well, sleep & read heaps and generally chill. In a 24' boat there is not much cleaning to do and hubby & I share the cooking. It's magic! I won't be away for the whole time so will check in here from time to time.

Won't prattle on any more but will touch base again soon.

Have a great weekend.

Sticky

Hi guys

One whole year on TSM! It doesn't seem like that long, but then the years go by fast when one is 50...

I have a resolve/aim for the New Year as far as my drinking goes, as I mentioned before, but don't think I will be adhering to it over the holiday period. It is soooo stressful leading up to Xmas with 2 businesses and after so many years in AA it is still fun being "able" to drink again. I suppose it's like putting off a diet but bugger it. I will be honest now - recently I have been so unimpressed with my progress that I have sometimes switched from NZ units to US units, as the WHO doesn't seem to make any distinction. You Americans talk about 14 units being healthy, as do us Australasians, but your units are half as much again as ours.

My progress is so far from perfect it's not funny, but I still want this to work for me. Hubby even said the other day, admittedly after a few drinks himself, that my doing TSM had saved our marriage. I still need to discuss this with him when we are both sober, but I know that from his point of view our social life is better and he doesn't have to try and hide his alcohol away when he'd rather not.

Wed night this week our eldest (only 13) graduated from primary/intermediate school. There was a dinner/dance. When we came home at 10pm I would have happily gone to bed after 2 small glasses of wine as i was so tired. But hubby had poured me the rest of the wine and we ended up staying up til late. I was shattered yesterday, especially since I have been sleeping badly for some time now. It's good to know that that off switch can be there sometimes, even if I am easily persuaded otherwise.

I was going to give this 6-9 months initially. More recently I have heard people say that TSM can work better 2-3 years down the track. Despite my MANY ups and downs I will not be giving up in a hurry.

Take care everyone and have a great weekend.

Cheers
Sticky

Weekk 1: 1,8,AF,3,AF,AF,3.5 total 15.5,3AF Week 2: AF,8,8,AF,AF,4,8 total 28, 3AF
Week 3: 4,8,AF,8,AF,5,AF total 25, 3AF Week 4: 16,AF,8,7,AF,10,AF total 41, 3AF
Week 5: 7,12,8,AF,8,AF,8 total 43, 3AF Week 6: AF,5,12,AF,AF,8,AF total 25, 4AF
Week 7: AF,14,AF,6,AF,5,AF total 25, 4AF Week 8: 8, AF, 12, 12, AF, 1.5, 1.5 total 35, 2AF
Week 9: 12, AF, 10, 2,AF, 10, AF total 32, 3AF Week 10: 9, AF, 10, AF,1.5, 6.5, AF total 27, 3AF
Week 11: 12, AF, 14, 3.5, 1, AF, 7.5 total 38, 2AF Week 12: AF, 8 AF, 9, 2, AF, AF total 19, 4AF
Week 13: 8.5, AF, 9, AF, 12, AF, 14 total 43.5, 3AF Week 14: 7.5, AF, 8, AF, AF, 9, 9 total 33.5, 3AF
Wek 15: AF, 9, AF, 9, AF, 9, 10 total 37, 3AF Week 16: total 34, 2AF
Week 17: total 32, 3AF Week 18: total 34, 4AF
Week 19: total 33, 3AF Week 20: 32, 3AF
Week 21: total 38, 3AF Week 22: 29.5, 4AF
Week 23: 34.5, 3AF Week 24: 36, 4AF
Week 25: 30.5, 3AF Week 26: 29, 3AF
Week 27: 22, 4AF Week 28: 33, 2AF
Week 29: 24, 4AF Week 30: 23, 4AF
Week 31: 19, 5AF Week 32: 29, 4AF
Week 33: 29.5, 3AF Week 34: 20, 3AF
Week 35: 35, 2AF Week 36: 20.5, 3AF
Week 37: 30, 3AF Week 38: 16, 5AF
Week 39: 32, 2AF Week 40: 23, 3AF
Week 41: 27, 3AF Week 42: 24, 4AF
Week 43: 37, 2AF Week 44: 29, 3AF
Week 45: 24, 3AF Week 46: 25, 3AF
Week 47: 29, 3AF Week 48: 25, 3AF
Week 49: 26, 2AF Week 50: 26, 1AF
Week 51: 20, 3AF Week 52: 25.5, 3AF