Hi Firebird - Glad to see you post again. Yours was one of the stories that I read and reread when I started on this forum. So, I'm glad to hear that you are still around. It is also very helpful for you and others to post about relapses. It helps those of us new to this process to know we must stay the course and never waver from Nal one hour before Al. Keep in touch and let us know how it is going for you.

Hey Firebird my old friend!

I took far more liberties than you, which included several weeks of moderate drinking without naltrexone. The ongoing side-effects were tiresome, although relatively moderate, and I drank several times like a "normal person" without naltrexone... And surprise, surprise, the numbers in my journal (which I never stopped keeping and never will) went back up to unacceptable. So, I took ten days off with no booze and it was effortless but I needed the break to remind myself that this is serious business... And I'm back to drinking on naltrexone within safe limits.

So, you won't catch me using the "CURE" language. I will always be a potential addict if I drink without my pill. But as you say, our "relapse" if you want to call it that, followed by a dose of naltrexone, is proof TSM does work for us... And, I believe, the vast majority who try it.

Happy New Year, bro.

My best always,

Minneapolisnick

PS

After months of normalcy, it's easy to think you are "over it." But reading the pain on this board is a much-needed reminder of where I came from and how much I do not want to go back there. I'm gonna' stick around this board for good.

Nick, great to hear from you, and I'm glad to hear you're doing better. I agree - we are all potential addicts, and it doesn't take long for the train to run right off the tracks again. Nonetheless, we now have the tools and know how to get ourselves right back out of it. Also, now I see the downward spiral happening much more quickly than before, and I know how to deal with it. I don't go into denial. I don't have to because I have a real workable solution at hand.

We're still learning about TSM. The book was a great start, and it has opened a world of hope for a lot of folks, but we still have a lot to learn about how this thing works. I for one think that some type of support in terms of the psychological side of addiction can be helpful. I'm not talking mind-control cults here, just the recognition that there are a lot of factors at play in the addicted brain, and TSM doesn't deal with all of them.

Love to see some of the old timers here. And yes, reading some of the pain here is a reminder of where we came from, and where we could be again if we're not careful.

fireBird

FB and Nick nice to see you two TSM stalwarts on the board. You bring a great perspective here and I benefitted greatly from your posts when I started 6 months ago and continue to do so. You have certainly paid-it-forward by continuing to post. Many thanks.

So that little rough patch I was going through late last year has subsided. It is definitely true that you don't want to mess around with the program too much. I have tailored it a bit to suit my needs, but it is a slippery slope from tailoring to thinking you can do whatever you want and get away with it. My advice: don't do it! If you must tweak the program to work for you, be very careful, and make sure to stick with your tweaked program.

In my line of work (window cleaner), we rappel from ropes every day. Sometimes, after doing it for years, you can begin to almost forget about the rope holding you up and imagine that you can actually defy gravity. Your little suction cup holds you to the glass, or your grip of steel holds you to the window frame, so you think, and if you're not careful, you may just begin to think you can fly without the rope.

Assuredly that is not the case. That rope is gone and so are you. One little slip and you are reminded immediately that the only reason you can do those amazing acrobatics on the side of the building is that rope. Respect the rope, we always tell the new guys.

For the alcohol survivor, that little pill is your rope. It allows you to do some amazing things (like drink as a sane person would), but don't get the idea that you are superman once you begin to gain some control, because without that pill you will plummet to the earth! And it happens really fast.

The good news is that as fast as things can get out of control without the pill, things seem to get back in control very quickly once we start following the program correctly again. All of your previous TSM progress is not lost; the brain remembers it as surely as it remembers how fun it is to get drunk. I'm not saying this is a license to go nuts and play around with the program; quite the opposite. Once things get out of control it can be very difficult to even get your **** together enough to restart the program. But don't give up. Your progress is not lost. You just need to go through the motions (take the pill . . . drink) and let TSM work it's magic once again.

To all, I wish you the best of success

FireBird

Hi Firebird - I needed to hear that. You have been a total inspiration to many of us still struggling. Now, we have confirmed hope that if the program of Nal+Al works for us, we will be cured.

Thanks so much for being here. Keep us informed of how you are doing. I'm sure you know that we hang on your every word like you probably did when you were new here.

Take care. HG