My wife is a dream. I'm glad that is coming out in my posts. Thanks to everyone for the continued support.

Same old, same old, right now. Late night drinking. I am finding it easier to get through the day without thinking about booze the whole time, and on Saturdays and Sundays, I have no problem waiting until late in the day to start drinking.

We are getting along very well and that is the best thing ever. She is even going away for a weekend to the US in a couple weeks. She told me how glad she is that she doesn't have to worry that something really bad would happen to me while she is away. Another good sign.

I know I have to exert some willpower here at some point with cutting units and kicking the vodka. All the best to everyone on the site!!

Hey Dog:

The love you have for your wife just shines through you like a radiant beam.

And your energy for life itself is inspiring; the way you exercise through this heavy drinking -- and what you say about your wife and family -- are all evidence that you have a powerful core to your being that will propel you through this.

You've been a big source of support to all of us here. We're all cheering for you and know you will make it.

Hello TSMers,

Went to the cottage for Canadian Thanksgiving. I have had some bad days on this weekend in past years(throwing up mid-afternoon, not playing with my kids, having to be led home from a friends over the shoulders of my brother and wife, etc.).

This trip, my behaviour was good. I was able to exercise each day, play with the kids, and start drinking later in the day and more slowly.

However, I had about 10 units each day. Too much, I know.

I feel like I need to exert some willpower. I know that I have been saying that for a while now. Yesterday was a holiday and it was sunny and unusually warm. I tried to stick to beer, but my first light that I had an hour after my pill caused me to vomit. Beer really doesn't seem to agree with me when I am feeling a little yucky after taking NAL.

If I do the vodka, with some juice and water, I have no problems. Beer after a few vodkas is ok, too. I am not out of control. No bad behaviours, no blackouts. Just a consistently high intake. I really look forward to my drinks at the end of the day.

I am reading a lot on this wonderful site - it is so good to see the word spreading. I am definitely drinking out of habit. I have to get my units down with some willpower and force in some AF days. As silly as this might sound, I feel like I am in control despite the high numbers and not fighting to avoid spiralling out of control like the pre-NAL days. I also feel like I could force some AF days even though I haven't for a while.

I am posting exactly how it is going for me and how I feel. Sometimes I read it and feel a little embarrassed that I am not further along to being fixed, but time will tell. I am confident this is working and will work, despite the high numbers.

All the best to everyone!

JDog,
Prior to reading your post, I posted a very similar post in my thread. I am at week 20 and have been able to have some AF's but on the weekends my intake is out of control many times in the 13-15 unit range, so I can really relate to how you feel. After reading many of the other people's stories on here, I know that it is not unusual for people to start having some doubt at this stage of the process.

Stay strong and I am sure that we will both get more control soon.

Hi JDog,

You've done amazing things recently. No longer are you hiding and drinking in your basement - but you're sociable; playing with your kids and drinking in control.

Yes the units might be higher than where you want them to be... but it's clear you absolutely want to reduce them. So what's the plan of attack?

After writing your plan / strategy, you don't have to stick to it religiously, but the act of putting down a few words on paper (or this forum) can help you to focus on the next move. Don't worry about it being set in stone. As Winston Churchill famously once said, "No plan survives contact with the enemy!"

JDog, I know what you mean. You're objectively drinking "too much," but the increased control with TSM is amazing. Some willpower might be useful now but I wonder if it might not be more helpful to think about what you are still getting out of the drinking and what other things might come to fill that space instead? If you are having 10 units a night there is a good chance you are devoting a significant amount of time and space to alcohol, rather than other activities (unless you are drinking while doing other things all the time). At a certain point, when you want to reduce your drinking you have to reduce the actual activity time devoted to it, and fill it with something else. It's really unpleasant, usually, to just sit in the same situation and NOT drink...for example, going to a bar and not drinking, where you would have before. It's not impossible, and you might get better at it in time, but you'll also probably realize that if you're not drinking, you don't WANT to spend 10 hours in the pub a night. So yeah, I guess I would examine what you are still getting out of drinking and what you can do not just to cut units, but the amount of time spent drinking down.
Oh and as for the vomiting on nal after one drink - I thought I was the only one!!! It's weird, sometimes the taste of something just DOES.NOT.WORK with nal....
Good luck! We are rooting for you JDog.

I love the people on this board! Thank you for all of your support.

I had a reasonable night last - 8 or 9 units. Good behavior.

I didn't start drinking until after 8:30pm tonight with ease. I don't go out to bars ever. My pattern is to be exceptionally busy from 7am to 8pm with kids breakfast, work, and then kids' games, lessons,etc. or work stuff. Then I drink, after all my responsibilities are over.

I am very hopeful, and very grateful for all the support here.

There is a dramatic improvement in my behavior for sure. I am doing great with my wife, too. The state I am in would almost be acceptable forever with my family, ability to function at work, and general peace in the home. I know also, that if I take NAL before I drink, I do not have to fear a huge (15+units) night or bad behavior towards my wife.

The motivation is to save my liver, lose weight, and be able to go to bed and sleep properly or have intimacy with my wife.

If I can kick this demon, I have no doubt that I will drop the extra weight that I am carrying, cease to worry about my health, and be closer to my wife.

I am so glad that I have found TSM and NAL. I think that I would have had no hope without it. I believe I am going to have a happy ending to this story now.

Hi, JDog! It's funny, quite a few of us are saying we are doing this out of habit and might need to, in popular parlance, "slow our roll."

EL gave me some good advice about breaking up my drinking sessions. I really began thinking about the lesson from the success I had with her advice: I need to change behaviors. So, I have decided I am going to follow some of the tips from Moderation Management. A few new rules for me: limiting numbers (on certain days,) eating before I drink and no more than a drink per half hour.

And, I have been out to places with bars to eat lunch, I make it a point to eat, but not drink. I found I am not tempted, but it's a situation where I used to drink. I think I must train myself to be a non drinking person.

Congratulations on your continued success! I hope you continue to improve!

looks like you are getting some great advice from the previous posters, so i don't really have anything to add but that i'm rooting for you and i know you will get "THERE". you deserve it- it sounds like you have a wonderful family!

--pp

Thanks everyone.

Great advice. I need a plan and some strategies. I hate to say it, but there is a part of me that likes to drink, but that has to go.

I will come up with a plan, post it, and give it a shot. "I think I can, I think I can..."

What a difference NAL makes. When my life was falling apart pre-TSM, I was desperate to cut down or quit, but was , as they say in AA, "powerless". Now I feel guilty because I do have the ability to force my will on this. I know it.

Thanks again everyone.