I google EVERYTHING.

Maybe he was a warlock in another life ??? LOL

Hugs, Maggie x

Newlife, I'm so grateful for your openness. I'm too tired to process my own thoughts sometimes (much if the time), and it's so reassuring that others are struggling with the same things I am. We started about the same time, and I went 6 months with NO change. Cue the overwhelming doubts... It's kind of a dirty trick for the book to claim 3 months cure time is average, no? Lol
When you went on vacation, did you consciously decide not to worry about AF days, or did the stress and excitement of travel trigger you (so to speak)? I'm heading to the mountains for a vacation with my family in a few days, and I've been wrestling with how to handle TSM. At this point I'm leaning towards maintaining my goals, but part of me just wants to forget about TSM for a week!

NNOOOOOOO ! Always take the Nal or you will set yourself back even further - and let's be honest - 6 months is nothing when you look at how long we have had this problem - I stated in January and am still not cured - but I know I will get there eventually. It is said that those who do not manage to remain 100% complaint with the golden rule are those who fail ... please Gdmcf - do not even think of not taking the Nal - you have come this far - do not give up now - what is the alternative ?

Hugs, Maggie x

Maggie, I DONT think (at least I hope) that Gdmcf meant not taking the nal. I think Gdmcf meant just not worrying about how much one is drinking, AFTER taking the nal.

To answer the question, Gdmcf, when I went to Savannah last week, for 5 days, I pretty much consciously decided that I was not going to worry about my numbers, so in that sense I did just forget about TSM for a week. But I ALWAYS took my nal, I just took it every day one hour before lunch, automatically. Mostly this was because I LOVE good food and wine and cocktails, and I wanted to take full advantage of all that Savannah had to offer in that regard at lunch and dinner every day. So I did. My numbers were up slightly, but there was still a difference from pre-TSM: only one morning did I wake up with a slight hangover. Why? Because the compulsion to throw drinks down my throat as fast as I can to chase that feeling is pretty much gone. I enjoyed as much as I wanted, but more slowly, and it was fine. The numbers were high because when I am home I don't normally drink with lunch except occasionally on the weekends, where in Savannah I was going to a lovely lunch every day and having wine IF I wanted it.

One experience I just realized: one day we walked into a LOVELY restaurant at lunchtime. There was a bit of a wait but we decided to wait. I asked the waitress if I could have a glass of chardonnay while we waited. She said: "we don't serve alcohol". Now, formerly, I would have IMMEDIATELY turned around and gone elsewhere. No alcohol when I wanted it in a restaurant was out of the question. This time, although I experienced a bit of a let down, I took a deep breath, looked around and decided I still wanted to eat there. I ordered a wonderful ginger iced tea, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I also enjoyed the fact that after lunch I had a LOT more energy than I would have had if I had two glasses of wine with lunch: I could keep enjoying the day with my daughters, I did not need to go back to the hotel to take a nap to recover in time for dinner.

So things have changed, I know that. Not nearly as much or as quickly as I would like, but they have changed. I am in this for the long haul. But at this point I would NEVER not take the nal. That would be ridiculous. I think with regard to that, we are either doing TSM or we aren't, and if we don't follow the Golden Rule we are undermining ourselves and wasting our time and money.

I hope this helps. XOXO Newlife

Newlife

You changed an old habit there and I hope you realise that is a huge step.

It's so wierd to realise how stroppy and conditional drinking has made us, and then work out that drinking isn't the be all and end all, and that not drinking has it's benefits - but until it's experienced then you might not believe it.

Gdmcf, why not continue with TSM?What is there for you if you do not do it and how does that compare with the reason you want TSM to work for you?

I had a holiday right in the middle of my initial TSM process, and being on TSM was the only way I could have actually gone on holiday. I drank with fellow holiday makers and did have a spike however once back home that settled down again, and subsequent holidays were water off a ducks back. I believe new situations do give us new triggers to work through, so it's all an opportunity and so long as you continue to mix alcohol with nal there's going to be benefit somewhere down the line.

Thank you, UKB - yes, it was a huge change in habit and until I wrote it down and reflected on it here I didn't realize how huge it was. Another benefit of being here. But thanks for the acknowledgement. Means a lot. XOXO Newlife

Maggie ad UKBlonde- I worded that weirdly. I don't mean I am considering non-compliance! I promise! It's so wonderful to know that you'll call me onto the carpet if I ever do, though
What I mean is just as Newlife said: should I just let loose, or keep with my numbers goal for the week? I'm finally seeing some results (today is my 4th AF day in a row!)I feel so good and I'm looking forward to not drinking on my trip... So I've answered my own question, I suppose.
Newlife- very cool that you were able to enjoy lunch in a dry place- on vacation, no less! That seems like a pretty big step to me! If I heard "no alcohol" when I'd expected it, my wheels would likely be turning, looking for the next opportunity.

Gdmfc - Good to read what you meant and I laughed when you said that you would be called on the carpet by us had you not been in compliance - yes that is what this forum is for !! I too know what you mean now, about ignoring TSM and although still taking the Nal, not even try and do anything about numbers - I too am at that point. Had a great week a couple back then last week just thought 'sod it, I am drinking' - and DID and my numbers, although lower than pre Nal were way up! This week I am trying again to keep them down so I understand exactly !

Also I agree with UKB in that the habit of drinking when out that Newlife changed, has also changed with me - I would have, once upon a time walked out and gone elsewhere - now I would stay where I was. I had not thought about that being a big thing but it really is !!!

Hugs to all, Maggie x

All this talk of dancing naked in the moonlight has me thinking about heading back to the gym! Would dancing in the moonlight in spanx be acceptable? Newlife, I remember many years ago when a woman who was cutting my hair at the time mentioned that she had stopped drinking several years before. She said that her drinking was getting out of control and affecting many aspects of her life. She said that once she realized she did not need alcohol to have fun and that she could still do all the zany things she loved doing when sober, quitting was easy for her. We can dance sober!