Keep it up Big Dog

Sounds great, Dog. Keep it going!!

Great job!!!!

You are obviously very focused now. That you excercise EVERY day is just amazing!

You are behaving your way into new thinking. What a great inspiration you are for everyone on this forum!

Wishing you continued success,

Ketchikan1

Hi JDog, just wanted to add to the chorus- your positivity and progress are great. I hear your frustration with units, I felt the same way. But, as others have urged, hang in there because they definitely will come down. You are living proof of the benefit that TSM can have not only on the individual but on families. Keep up the good work (and the devil at bay )

JDog,

Your posts are very touching. I am inspired to see your progress. Keep going. We are with you.

EOB

Hi everyone,

Still in the same, high units, but good behaviour mode.

Very late night at work on Friday. Got home AF at about 10:45. Had probably 10 units between 11 and 1AM and woke up at 7AM on the couch. That hasn't happened in a long time, and I wasn't happy about that. Neither was my wife.

I think as I work out these, "triggers" (on busy work days - esp. Fridays -, I used to just totally go to town when i got home and drink 15-20 units to pass out), my wife is working out all of her bad memories of the bad times. She wasn't mad, but she was like, "Why didn't you come to bed?" and I felt badly about letting her down.

Saturday, I had a great day with my family and had 10-12 units late at night.

Sunday wasn't very good. I tried to stick to the lite beer. Started drinking around 3pm while doing laundry and watching the NFL. I barbecued great steaks for my family around 6:30 pm, but I had had around 8 lites by then. Then I got into the vodka. I knew I was drunk, so I decided to do some housework. I cleaned all the bathrooms, vacuumed, etc. I finished off about 6 more units of vodka.

Next thing I know, it is 5 AM, I am in bed (no hangover). I have a cup of water beside my bed and an uneaten bowl of chips. At around 6:30, my wife starts asking me if I am counting units, is there any progress, am I exerting any effort to not drink, etc. Clearly, my Sunday night reminded her of all the bad nights and she was upset.

I was upset too, because my wife is absolutely the best woman in the world for me. Kind, smart, funny, intelligent, great mom, my best friend, sexy.....everything. And I want to be everything for her. And I used to be. I never drank at all until the age of 22. That felt very crappy. I think sometimes our significant others think that if they lean on us a bit, we will stop drinking, but any alcoholic knows that The Beast takes over. I apologized. Things are good tonight, but I hate that feeling.

The positives that I reminded myself about tonight is that I can buy the Big bottle of vodka now and stop at some point, even if it is way too much. I used to buy the 500ml bottle every day (rotating liquor stores) because if I had any more, I couldn't help but drink it. I also found two lite beers in the freezer today and, as I said earlier, a cup of water beside my bed. That didn't happen before. That means I intended to drink those beers but didn't, and at some point I decided to stop drinking alcohol and drink water. Although by that time, I had had way too much. But still a good sign.

As well, my dedication to exercise is strong. I jogged 7km on Saturday and biked around 25 km on Sunday. If I can ever rid myself of this late-night drinking, I know the pounds will melt off quickly and I will be back to my old self. Exercising every day makes me feel good about myself, and despite a lack of weight loss, I know I am getting stronger and fitter.

Thanks to all who follow my progress, or lack thereof. I promised myself to be patient for it would take 9-12 months for me to get fixed and I am in my 8th month. It is really hard when you are taking NAL, drinking, and things don't seem to be getting better, and you are having the odd Big Night.

I am hoping and praying this story has a happy ending. I am keeping the faith.

Sounds like a tough few days, but it is good that you are seeing signs of progress. Hold on to those and your dear wife.

Hugs,

EoB

Hey Jdog. Sorry, I've taken a hiatus from the board.

You are absolutely correct to be thinking 9-12 months. The improved behavior and increased control tell me that you will cross the finish line. Hang in there, it's a rough journey.

Nick

JDog, I know how you feel. I'm not as far along as you, but when you suddenly get one of the Big Nights™, you start to doubt yourself again. I have to say though, I can't believe you manage to run and bike after all those units!! You are BIONIC! If I could drink that much and still exercise I think I would still be drinking as heavily !!! Seriously- my hangovers got so crippling that I really had no choice but to cut down. Do you think that in the future you could try a little harder to cut down on units or at least start drinking later? That might help with the binges of course.

JDog sounds like you have an awesome wife!

I have also been blessed with an awesome wife. I have mentioned a few times over the last 14 weeks to my wife I don't think this method is working. She tells me, THE HELL IT ISN'T! She states, I haven't been an a$$hole which I do take as a compliment.

Something weird happened last Saturday. I was at the local sports bar watching the Buckeyes when I started having a overwhelming urge to have a draft beer. It looked so damn inviting with the sunlight shining through the glass. I normally drink wine. Dummy me didn't have my Nal on me ( from now on my wife keeps some in her purse ). My wife asked if I could just have 2-3 drafts and stop? I was thinking MAYBE I could because I have done it on occasion before Nal. Since I didn't want to take the chance and having NOT ONCE missed taking Nal before drinking why start now? I ran home and took my Nal and came back. Funny thing was I had 5 drafts and STOPPED! Before Nal I would have bought two bottles of wine on the way home.

I am hoping these small victories start adding up and in 6-9 months my units come down and hope the same for you.