That last post is hilarious. Bob and Kris. Anyway Lena I just wanted to pop in a wish you further success. I hope you are moving along well . I will read back more and check again. Cheers.

All right, I'm a little tipsy, so KrazyKris, I have to ask, "Do the curtains match the rug?"

No need to answer. I'm only asking this question to get a laugh out of Benzo Bob, just in case he never heard that one.

I just realized this is Lena's progress thread. Lena, please don't censor me! A public reprimand is a more suitable punishment.

Happy 4th everybody!

Nick -- Funny you should mention that.

WTE gave me some good moderating advice -- let people control the content of their own progress thread and if it gets "out there" it is a history of their own journey.

So it's my progress and I'll cry if I want to. Not that I am. And I don't have to have the carpet match the drapes if I don't want to either.

I'll stop before it gets to TMI. Looong work day and past time to take my TSM medicine. Finished project -- TRIGGER.

I've got such a great view in every direction - I don't hang curtains any more.

G4M, yes, what a great view. My husband and I went for a ride to see friends in the country. We went to Kent which is not far from the N.Y. border. In fact my husband and friend went for a beer run to N.Y. that day. We saw so many deer and also a beautiful fox cut right in front of our car. No houses for miles and then some breathtaking views, and I thought of you when I saw the beautiful farms, etc. God's country for sure. Stealing your thread Leana, sorry!

Today wraps up Week 13 and it was a mixed bag. I've had trouble getting back into recording units. I usually drink one bottle of wine, more or less, so it's easy to know I've stayed at 4 to 6. Craving was way down earlier this week and the thought of an AF day crossed my mind. Craving shot way up suddenly Wednesday for no apparent reason and I drank enough -- about 10-11 -- to have my first hangover in months. What a waste the next day was. Right now I'm just biding my time, almost bored, waiting for this process to play itself out.

WTE --

I was realy indecisive about how to count my weeks. But since I was off so long I just tallied the weeks I actually was on nal, as best I can remember. It will always be apples to everyone else's oranges, but the important part is getting on with it. So even though I started in January, I'm counting this as Week 14 and marching on.

Hi Lena,
I just got back from the dentist and was thinking of you.
I am still doing well. Drinking very little and feel totally released of the beast.

I am glad you are progressing.

But, last night I took my Nal and had three beers and went to bed. This morning I went to a dental appointment. What I thought was a minor filling turned out to be a little more. He had to cut away gum tissue. At the end of the session he gave me a script for Lortab and said, "Fill this quickly. When the numbness wears off, you will need it".

So, without a thought, I go to my pharmacy and turn in the prescription. But then the pharmacist said that it was blocked due to drug interaction. She overroad it and gave me my prescription.

So now I am sitting at my desk with a little bottle of Lortab and some Anbesol. I am scared to take the Lortab so I bought the non-prescription Anbesol. My jaw is aching but I don't want to take the lortab and it probably would not work. I know I can drink a stiff one when I get home and get the same effect.

I know you have been caught between pain meds and nal. I am there except that I am past the point of having to drink. I only drink when I choose. But if I drink to kill the pain, I will have to take more Nal. If I wait a day, I can take the Lortab since the Nal should be mostly out of my system.

Rock <=> Hard spot


sr

Week 16 starts today. I'm posting my numbers here for a record but I took them out of my signature line because I don't like looking at them every day. A watched pot never boils.

Besides, the weekly average does not really portray the day-to-day, up-and-down struggle. And I'm not one to keep daily notes.

Pre TSM +/- 70/wk; Craving 10
Months 1 & 2 +/- 60/wk; Craving 6
Month 3 +/- 40/wk; Craving 5
Week 14 +/- 65/wk; Craving 8
Week 15 +/- 60/wk; Craving 7

I'm not going to over-analyze or overthink it. It's a good time to be getting inspration from those who had stalls and now are having success.

I will say that my craving and consumption shot way up after I had some success with making a conscious effort to keep it down. I even contemplated an AF day (would have been my first voluntary one in years) and a switch of another sort was hit. Out of nowhere, craving shot up that day from about 3 to about 9. I started drinking earlier -- therefore more. After a couple of weeks of this it seems to be subsiding.

**sigh**

I'll get there. At least my head says so. That AF day seems as far off as it ever has.

lena, I don't know how the binge drinkers do it... I mean binge one day, then be dry for a day or 2 or more, then binge again. It's a completely different style of drinking than daily drinking day in and day out, as is our style. For us daily drinkers, one AF day is a major milestone. I am confident that you will get to yours.

One suggestion when you make it to that first AF day; when you do get to have one, try to do 3 consecutive AF days even if you have to "lie" to yourself on that first day that you're not really going to be dry 3 whole days. That 3rd day dry, when all AL and it's metabolites are flushed out of your body and brain, is always a wonderful enjoyable day with clear thinking, love of life, and just a general happy feeling. In my recent experience that good feeling starts to wear off after that 3rd day. The 2nd and 3rd days can be used for positive reinforcement of beneficial behaviors too, like the book says.

I know you'll get there. This journey is an emotional one because each individual day can be so different from others and we tend to judge our progress on what we are doing in the moment, rather than look at the overall trend. I had a bad week drinking-wise causing me to think I was not cured, but then suddenly mid-week it turned around and all is well again. The bad days and the good days were mainly caused by external stimuli, not something controllable. Nevertheless, progress is being made if we don't look for it too hard.

Bob