I'm a bit upset and perplexed. I had another incident last night. Went to the bad place.

My S.O. found me on the sofa at 4:30 a.m. Passed out with scratches and blood on my face.

Last night was our company xmas party, of which I was co-host. Lots of pressure to pull off something great. And it was a fabulous party. I started drinking about 3 p.m. as we were starting to set up. By the time the party started at 6, I was pleasantly toasted but cogent. Somewhere around 8 things get fuzzy. I was supposed to clean up after the party was over at 9. I remember very little of that.

On the way home, either getting to a cab or getting to my apartment after getting out of the cab, I tripped over the stuff I was carrying and my face hit the pavement. It looks worse than it is. But I have bad scratches across the left side of my face, the bridge of my nose, my forehead. And if I weren't using an icepack on and off, I would have a real shiner.

My friend and co-worker and my co-host hardly spoke to me today. I don't know if I actually caused some damage at the venue or whether I was just no help in the clean up. Luckily I was just amusingly drunk for the party part, because everyone else at work, including my bosses, were thrilled with the party.

These are the kind of incidents that motivated me to start TSM in the first place. And it's a bit disturbing that after 8 months, this could happen again. I took the NAL at 2...an hour before I started drinking. But I never got that "you should slow down on the drinking" signal from my brain.

Tomorrow I head south to spend a week with the family for the holidays looking like I've been in a barroom brawl. Egads!

I'm trying not to feel discouraged but it's difficult.