The longer I am at this forum, the more I realize how differently we all work. Guapo, I admire your strength and resolve. You should be quite proud of your achievement. You did it and did it the hard way. In my case, I believe the Nal was responsible for at LEAST 50% of the change. It was like instantly possible for me to control AL where it was unthinkable before. I feel more fortunate than proud. Regardless..big up to us all.
Steve.

Oh gosh - reading Ocean's progress makes me so happy for him - but makes me sigh for me. I WILL get there - Ocean, I am so pleased the way things are happening for you - and just my tuppence worth as to what a 'cure' is - for me, it will be when I can take my Nal, and have ONE drink and not want more - or have three weeks AF - and not even notice that I have had three weeks AF. For me, it is not having Al constantly on my mind ...... just basically being a NORMAL person !! Hope things are still going well for you,

hugs, Maggie

Actually Stephen, I don't think I did anything the hard way. Naltrexone just didn't fix me.

I just had to strip the make up and fancy clothing off my lover alcohol, and see what was really underneath. What I mean is taking a whole different view of alcohol.

That urge to drink more still happens. I don't think it will ever go away. What works is to remember the bad times, to limit the amount, and make plans before any type of event.

I didn't want to be the sloppy drunk, the forgetful person who did stupid things. Didn't want to worry i'm not remembering the night before.

The point is, nobody physically needs to drink, or needs to be inebriated, or cannot survive without alcohol.

The only way I could understand a life without being awash in alcohol, was to quit being awash in alcohol. It takes months to get that perspective, but it does come. Just taking a naltrexone made drinking unpleasant, but it never changed my perspective at all.

Je3625, The curve is just an exponential best fit. I had not compared it to any of the published data but it trends in the same way, a sort of 1/x curve. I use an app to keep track of drinks and it’s really been helpful I think it would be very beneficial for anyone doing this program.

Maggie thanks for the kind words. I think you will get there too. I guess I have to consider myself a lucky one as this transformation was practically overnight for me though I am still not going to jump for joy and celebrate yet as there is more to do and it’s still early.

Guapo, I’m glad you have found a way that works for you. For me so far it’s been a text book experience. I have to say that for me so far it’s been ridiculously easy. In my case I feel more like its 90% Naltrexone and 10% mindfulness. The only mindfulness I need is to remember taking my pill and as you wisely mention to know that reducing consumption, remembering the bad times and never forgetting what is really underneath it all is very important.

It’s been two weeks since I posted and I am now ending my 6th week. Everything is pretty much going along the same. I’m still only taking ¼ 50mg pill. What I generally do is split a pill into fourths and then take the smallest one and split that into pieces. Then I have 3 quarters and I’ll take one and just a small piece of the other so I am sure to get at least 13-14mg’s.

My wife has been out of town the last couple weeks and that’s usually a time when I would have binged the hell out of myself. She travels on occasion for work and the first thing I would do would be buy a bottle of bourbon, some high price beer and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon you know just to stay hydrated

I have not needed any of that. The worst binge I had was one night of 5 drinks and even then I didn’t break .6BAC as it was over the course of several hours. Average is 2 or 3 per night. I have not had any alcohol free days yet though going from an average of 13 per night down to two or three is almost alcohol free relatively speaking. I know that sounds like an alcoholic excuse and I am all too familiar with them but still, I’ve not had a hangover in six weeks.

Some of the other things I notice are that, I don’t have a bottle of vodka in the workshop, one in the basement where the camping gear goes, a case of Pabst in the trunk so that I can pull one out of the fridge and pretend to just drink one while doing things around the house while replacing it with the hidden ones, when I fill up a glass of wine I no longer fill it to the top and slug it half down so that it looks like I poured a normal sized glass (why not fill a glass to the rim was always my motto, dumb wine drinkers ), I don’t slug a few hits of wine before going to sleep, When I do stop off at the grocery store on the way home and buy a case of beer I don’t buy a single off the shelf for the drive home and chuck the empty out on the highway, for the first time in my life I have a fridge full of beers from around the world (spare fridge in the garage) all stacked up neatly like in a bar and I don’t have to replace the whole thing with the same bottles to make it look like I only had a few the night before… And so on. Most of you probably know what I mean.

Honestly for the first time in my life I am actually enjoying drinking. It’s really strange. I used to think I enjoyed it but I didn’t. I just needed it. Just like smoking the only reason why you smoke is because you smoke, same with drinking. I’ve been asked if I miss it, the feeling of getting high and my honest answer is no not at all. There still is a pleasure to drinking but it’s no longer a form of insanity. It’s a bit of a physical pleasure with one of honestly enjoying the taste of the drink. And I hope to never forget the terrible downside of it. Strangely in these quick six weeks it’s like I am starting to forget, I won’t mind you, but it is fading. The book, and the movie which I saw the other night, ‘One Little Pill’, and anyone who is doing TSM should watch and read, talk about how after a while when doing TSM as your brain begins to rewire itself you almost travel back in time through your learning of alcoholism. They talk about how when you first drank you are not an alcoholic but you learn it over time. Then your 20’s become your 30’s which become your 40’s and you basically got your undergrad, Masters, and now a PHD in alcoholism. I think I was a PHD with honors! But anyway the strange thing is and I’m sure this is coincidental but I’ve had lots of thoughts pop into my head, clear memories of when I was in my 20’s and in my early 20’s was when I first knew I was having issues with alcohol.

It’s just a very interesting trip so far.

Ocean - it all sounds really good for you - and I agree re the thing that you said about having 2 or 3 and it almost being AF relatively speaking - and about when your wife is out of town that means that you would have binged the heck out of yourself - just to stay hydrated !!! LOL I so understand all of that! And am really pleased that things are happening for you !

Keep posting and let us know how things are going !

hugs, Maggie x

Ocean,

That graph is great. Who would of thought that you would be hoping to be in a "downward spiral?!" I have not seen those results yet and I am pretty good at going downhill fast. keep it up!

Ocean, I am glad things are going so well for you. I think I may have turned a corner too. Just went on a two week vacation and drank way way less than normal. Seeing everything about AL differently. Hard to tell what part NAL played in it, but it seems to me that for me it was the major part. Just have to start carefully tracking again and see where it goes from here.

Anyway, NAL ON!! Hugs from Newlife

Sounds great newlife!!!

I'm going on my 8th week so far the same. I've got inlaws in today and there is a big festival down town the next two days. Almost every single time in the last many years I can remember I'd be completely wasted at this festival. I doubt very much this will happen tonight. The good thing about TSM is that under normal circumstances if I didn't want to drink tonight then my only choice would be not to go to the festival but now I can and just have two or maybe even three beers with no desire for more. It's empowering if anything and I am very grateful for it.

Also when family visits I normally would stockpile the arsenal of hidden bottles but I have no such need for that anymore. I just plain and simply don't need it. I had a thought about it last night. In the past I used to have to hide my drinking by hiding bottles all over the house so that I could poor a glass of wine and sip it during dinner with the family and one glass was enough since I had downed a pint of Vodka before dinner and knew there was plenty more for after. Now I 'hide' my drinking with Naltrexone. What a wonderful trade off that's been. Have not been drunk in 8 weeks, have not had a hangover in 8 weeks. I don't miss it.

Ocean - I am so happy to read of your success !! I was wondering if your in-laws drink - and will anyone notice that you are not drinking as much ?

Hugs, Maggie x

They are social drinkers, definitely not alcoholics. Wine with dinner, that sort of thing. If anything they would probably notice that I drink less. I think over the years I've been very very good at hiding it but then again I don't really know since it's not usually the kind of thing people bring up to you. My wife certainly was on to me since she would find bottles around the house but honestly I think I have been an expert at hiding for the most part. I remember one night I spent in jail I talked to one of the police officers for a long period of time and he was basically about to release me but had to ask a judge. They have a 24 hour judge over a video screen. The judge said to breathalyze me before I get released and I blew a high enough BAC to kill a child. The cop couldn't believe it, I spent the night in jail So I was good at faking it. Most of the issues I would have would be the next day when I'd have completely forgotten what we talked about or even did the night before. But I got good at faking that too, like getting people to talk first so I'd know the story.

One of the things that actually is probably very helpful to me is that most of my friends are not alcoholics as well as my inlaws. My side of the family is another story, lots of alcohol problems. With my inlaws we would go on a winery tour and they would sip wine while I would not have a drop. It always made for awkward situations but I'd try to always be the one driving so I'd have an excuse. But I'd always hear their, 'aw come on just have a sip it's so good try it' kind of thing and would have to politely as possible just say, 'no thanks wine makes me tired during the day' or some such thing.

If my family went on a wine tour some of them would have to be brought home on a stretcher

So it's actually been kind of interesting. Thanks to TSM I am drinking much like a social drinker would and since I've been so good at faking it they may not even notice a change. The funny and ironic thing being that I still have a secret. My secret used to be the huge amount of alcohol I'd drink in one evening with friends or family while maintaining the look of a normal drinker and now my secret is Naltrexone and TSM and drinking normally and having no desire to hide anything.

Strange new world.