Hiya BTDT, I agree with Joe and Mario - Try not to think about the other night. We have all done things we would rather forget...and I am sure we will all do some more before we hop off this rollercoaster. But (as Mario put it) If we can all focus on the positive wee steps forward - we will realise the progress we are making. Your numbers are almost half your original consumption in a few short weeks. That is amazing ! Well done you !

HAve a great week.

Kiwi x

Thank you guys so much!!! I cannot tell you how much it means to have you support right now!!! This is harder than I thought it would be. I guess I am still a "good girl" and trying to do the right thing. Unfortunately, every bone in my body tells me to drink and drink and drink.

It is nice to have support for not overanalyzing this. I am doing what is best by drinking with my naltrexone. The good news is that I have consistently taken my naltrexone before I do and it has been soooo much more mellow than before. Mario you are so right. We cannot out think this problem. We just have to go though it. I wish my hubby really understood this. He is trying but I think it is hard for him to see me drunk. That is why it is great to have you folks to support me in my crazy

Seriously, my hubby was gone last night on a business trip and I was planning to let loose. I didn't even finish a bottle of wine. What is up with that? I wasn't trying to be good. I was just busy with the kids and wasn't phased by it. I take this as a really good sign. Funny thing is I intentionally hid my drinking even though I didn't need to. I figured this was the kind of drinking I want to extinguish so I shouldn't pretend like I'm a lady. There is nothing ladylike about my true alcoholic behavior.

Joe, you help us all more than you realize. I think by just going through the cravings without trying to "be good" you are really setting yourself up for success. Trying too hard seems to really prolong the process, don't you think? Kiwi, I am so happy to hear about your success. I think your experience is a true testament to what TSM is really about. We are really trying to kill the beast of alcoholism. You've shown us how this can work and I hope will be me in the next couple of months.

Thank you again for all your support. I really needed in this week.

BTDT (but I haven't been here and done this lol thanks joe)

Hi BTDT,

Just HAD to chime in and agree that you are doing the right thing, just following your urges and drinking as you normally would, instead of trying to "be a good girl." That was the best advice I got in the early weeks, because I also felt guilty, and like I needed to try NOT to drink. It is counter-intuitive, based on all the non-medical attempts we have made before, as well as all the shame involved (might I say, especially as women and mothers.)

Someone else (ToxicGirl, I think?) a few months ago, mentioned even drinking through things like sneaking, hiding, all those things we do to hide just how bad it really is from our husbands. I think even the sneaking and hiding are triggers, that little rush when getting away with something (as if they don't notice when we end up hammered anyway.)

I have also struggled a bit with my husband understanding TSM, he was very skeptical at first. Of course, it just sounds like a great excuse to continue being a lush. Plus, he has been on this rollercoaster with me for many years now, and has heard it all (I'm quitting, I'm only drinking on weekends! Only beer! Only wine!), so my credibility is low. But I was so over the top excited when I read the book, and couldn't stop talking about it, that he had to listen. When I found a doctor who had actually successfully treated people using TSM, that helped add some validity to what I am doing.

I asked my husband to read lots of articles, excerpts from Eskapa's book, ToxicGirl's blog (Adventures of ToxicGirl) and several entries here and that really seemed to help. Now that he is seeing at least subtle changes in my behavior, and a few more AF days here and there, he is much more supportive. Hopefully, you can get your hubby fully on board because it really is easier when you have support both here AND at home!

Good luck to you and hang in there ... the fact that you are seeing changes now seems to indicate you will be a responder in the long term. Forgetting about that wine in the bottle while busy wiht the kids? That is HUGE!

YG

YG

Thank you for your note. My hubby is coming along. He gets what I am trying to do and even encourages me but he still has a hard time watching me drink in an unladylike fashion. If I could drink like a lady - I wouldn't be doing this in the first place

This has been a horrid week. I guess the honeymoon is definitely over. I spent the past couple of days bingeing around the clock. I feel like crap today and I think the shame is going to kill me. I need some hangover free days. Going back to abstinence is sounding pretty good right now. I just wish I could stick with not drinking. My problem is I always end up slipping.

Today is definitely going to be AF!!

On the upside, even when I'm bingeing I have more control and stay much safer than I've even been able to before naltrexone. I need to start focusing on more of the positives. Thank you all for letting me vent and helping me through this tough, tough week!!!

BTDT

I had my first AF night last night and I feel great today!! Yeah me and I have NO interest in drinking today either!!

This has been a tough week but I plan to stay the course... BTDT

I think its important to remember to be always covered by the Nal when you're drinking. Especially if you are drinking for prolonged periods >10 hrs it would be wise to pop another, just to be safe.
Sorry to see you were feeling down about it this week- keep in mind though you are probably on the mend!

BTDT Please please what ever you do dont give up. This will work and it is working for you. I know its difficult on the days you do but but thats what this place is for. Come here and read untill you are feelling more possitive again. You will be fine just keep taking that pill one hour before you drink.

Hugs

Zero_nine,

Thanks I have been very good at taking an extra pill if I go more than six hours even. My goal is definitely extinction.

Mario,

Thanks again for the encouragement, I'm sticking with it. My four months will be X-mas Day and I am hoping for the best present!!

I'm expecting the next week to be much easier. BTDT

Keep going BTDT! Remember that 4 months is a very short time relative to what it takes for the majority on this board to get cured. I really disagree with that part of the book as the vast majority i've seen cured here are more like 6-12 months. it does work though for most of the people I've seen stick with it. It's a long rollercoaster but totally worth the ride. You're treating your alcoholism. you're doing the right thing. Remember that. Patience is key

Are you four weeks or four months in? Am I misreading something?